What does it mean...

…to be a modern man?

It used to be easy. All you had to do was (i) Take spear go out, grab a few male relatives, go kill mammoth, har har har, split mammoth between hunters, play dumb joke with tusks pretending to be male anatomical parts, har har har, club a guy softly on the head with a mammoth paw, take mammoth portion home. (ii) give all meat to wife n daughters to store away. Sit down, eat food that has been cooked. Draw on wall about today’s hunt. Feel masculine for being successful hunter. Hence…(iii) go to wife. Poke her shoulder. She turns around. You grunt. She nods. You retreat to back of cave. Blow out fire. Sniff her a bit. Paw at her a bit. Ravage her. [Censored].

From there, we evolved into this that this that and then there was honour there was gentlemanliness blabla.

Just 50 years ago, we had the tough macho man, he who never winced/cried/felt emotion. The guy who stoically goes about building cities, homes, butchering meat, who fixes things at home. Then we got the namby pamby new age guy (who later turns out to be a closet gay), the dandy, then all these terms get bandied about, metrosexual, SNAG, blab la. So what the hell?

I guess the best barometer is to be true to yourself, operating by an objective set of standards that is not reliant upon societal definitions of what it means to be a modern man. But when you are so, and then it is pointed out to repeatedly that what you are is not right, it’d a bit bullheaded and foolhardy to doggedly pursue this line of character. OK, I get it. So there are aspects I need to change.

But heck, what if there are issues that I have, and it really is bugging me, and it is stuff that is quite normal and I might not be big hearted enough to deal with it.

Annoying stuff, this.

I wonder if women have to deal with this stuff. I’m pretty sure they do. Just as it’s hard to be a man nowadays, we are expected to put up with what our gfs wear, what their hobbies are, how they think and approach certain things, to bring home the bacon, and a lot of it too, be strong, be smart, be sensible, be wise, be handsome, be mature, be forgiving, be well built, be brilliant at work, have lots of free time, can fix everything. I’m not saying it’s impossible, but it’d be a tough job. Similarly, it must be tough to be a woman. You gotta be able to cook well, look good, know what to say, know how to act, be a great mum, an understanding gf, a filial daughter, compete in a world where men are paid more, have a good body, blabla.

Why is this so? How come in prev generations this wasn’t so?

Maybe it’s the media influence, the proliferation of various bits of media that constantly pounds into us this is good that is good, and raises societal expectations, play along people’s greed to have it all and have it now.

The best thing as far as I’m concerned, is to have zero expectations, have it fair, and (if you have a good parent), use your parent as a starting point role model, and then, things will be rosy and peachy.

Just the basic: understanding, sweet, kind, gentle, looks healthy, sense of humor, quite intelligent. Tat’s good enough.