Estrangement

It is my conjecture that kids don't leave parents. It is, on the contrary, parents who drive away kids.

Which kid emerges into the world doggedly determined to get the hell as far away from the parent as possible?

The thing is this. Kids actually want to be good kids. We want to be good sons and daughters. And we DO understand that when they restrict what we do, it is out of what they perceive as 'for our own good' and towards our betterment, and that it is out of love. That is why, when we want to do something they oppose, we are open to the idea of neogtiation and discussions. We don't mind sitting down and hearing their side of the story, and then trying to compromise or find a middle ground. But we must talk logically and calmly, we must be rational and make a case for what we are trying to do and why.

Likewise, they have to do the same. They don't want us running ahead yelling and hollering that we are going to do it we are going to go ahead with it so fuck you. They likewise must not do that. All I am asking for is that you rein in and control your emotions. Let us sit down and talk properly, like 2 mature adults. You state your case, I state my case, lets understand each other, compromise and find a middle ground. You don't want me emotionally yelling and bulldozing my way through, so why do you then go and do that? So if you want to do that, does that mean I can do likewise? All I am asking for is that you rein in your emotions, control your goddamn outrageous emotional outbursts, and talk rationally, calmly, composedly. I really hate it when women react emotionally and just lose it, and start blabbering. Some colleagues are like that as well, and it makes me want to slap them to shut them up and bring them back to their senses. There is absolutely zero point in getting carried away, crying and wailing and all that. I mean, can't you build your case? Must you resort to just issueing blanket emotional demands?

We mean well and want to be well. What you need to do is to sit down calmly and we can talk about this rationally. If you insist on approaching conflicts in that manner, then you will definitely have to deal with the consequences and ineffectiveness of such a solution. It is as if making a rational case is beyond them, and they just have to resort to some sort of emotional hysteria and psychosis to threaten the other person into submission.

And I just won't have it. I am not curbing my life and its freedoms for some silly unfounded emotional hysteria. Just because an accident on the road on a motorbike happened to someone close to you 30 years ago, does that mean that forever I am banned from being on the road on anything 2 wheeled? Do I really have to curb my life to that extent? Well, people die from all sorts of things everyday; should I then also refrain from exposing myself to all that? Get a grip, get a life, get some perspective, before you chase everyone else away.

Why are some kids so hell bent on migration or getting away from their country? It's to get away from their parent/s. Oftentimes, a parent is so tunnel visioned in using whatever means to manipulate their children into behaving in accordance to their wishes, that they totally lose sight of the fact that their children are indivs with their own opinions too, and by doing this, they are flatly forcing the child into a situation where they have to lie, or they just have to get away from the overbearing, dominant, controlling parent, who insists on having almost blanket access into every part of the child's life.

Sometimes, parents just have to learn to let go. By doing so, they are in effect, pulling their kids closer.