Which subclass of man are you?

In society’s never-ending bid to categorize and classify people into neat little squares, and in the evolution of the moden man, we have in recent years been introduced to the fancy concepts of heterosexual, homosexual, metrosexual, ubersexual, SNAG, bi-sexual etc. You know, in the days of my dad, you were either a fag or you weren’t. You were black or you were white. There was definitely no 5 shades of grey to make excuses for insufficient blackness, if you get my drift.

Part of the problem here is that men are allowing society and women especially to paint them in a certain light, to classify them into neat little square boxes, and worst of all, then going out and living in such a way that these phrases become self fulfilling.

What happened to the quintessential bloke? Now I don’t mean one who regresses to drinking beer, belching every 5 seconds, whose main reason for being alive is pizza and football and the monthly issue of Playboy. A guy who is tough, strong, not afraid to get down and dirty, but also is capable of showing emotion.

As a digression, my understanding of heterosexual is: a guy who only wants women. Homosexual is a guy who only wants guys. A metrosexual is some guy who knows his toners, color coordination of clothes, knows his moisturiser, 5 step face maintenance routine or what have you, knows his perfumes, dresses in fitting expensive shirts and trousers, nice belts with shiny buckles and pointy leather shoes, ubersexual is the backlash movement by men in response to the increasing feminization and stripping away of their masculinity by being very stereotypical male, to the point of being homo averse and threatening. SNAG is a soppy wimpy type who is ultra sensitive, thoughtful, caring, cries easily, soft, but that does not mean he likes men. A bi is basically a slut who will shag whatever moves.

Why can’t we just drill them down to just 1 definition. MAN. Simple, easy. I mean, after all, that’s what we are. We all got 1 cannon, and 2 cannonballs. I reckon we shud just call ourselves a MAN. Mature. Able. Noble. Tada!

It takes maturity to know what to do in any given circumstance. It takes the ability to do it as well. But the clinching factor is, is the guy noble enough to do it?

At any rate I reckon men are just becoming confused. Society, and women in particular, love shoving em around, in and out of boxes, and create new stereotypical labels. But the fact is, life ain’t that easy. Those obviously gay types on Sex and the City are obviously TV characters, dramatized and sensationalized for effect. Those like that platypus mouthed Carsson from the 5 gay me makeover (and wtf is that show about anyway, Give ME that budget and I bet I could do better, and come on, I don’t appreciate you coming in trashing my room and ridiculing my collection of soppy sentimental junk even though they mean something to me). So this carsson guy, probably has some playacting in there to boost his image.

In real life, most people don’t fit the stereotype, and there are several shades of grey. Some gay men behave straighter than straight men. You cant tell. Men are being confused. I have these elements. So am I a uber? But I also have A B C elements. So am I a SNAG? And so on it goes.

Come on guys. Where are your testicles. Stand up and be what you really are. show what you are made of. Stop bending back stop fitting into society's stereotype of you. So what if you are neither here nor there? So what if you are soppy? So what if you are unable to articulate your emotions? If thats you, thats you. And people who care for you and love you will accept you are, and the rest, just ignore em.

So I reckon we should just cut the crap and make life easier on the 21st century male.