Honey, I humped the deer

Leaving aside for a moment the fact that I trust news from dubious sources such as non mainstream websites
(thanks to Scott Adams), there is a lot of interesting things happening out there everyday that we are not privy
to. For instance, look at this article about a man caught humping a dead deer. No thats not a typo. That, quite correctly you read, is a d-e-a-d d-e-e-r. Caught with his pants down literally.

Dude. Thats roadkill, in case you haven't noticed. There is bestiality. And there is necrophilia. Both are, in their individual right, equally disgustingly disturbing. Now the other day I was just joking with some friends regarding
the merging of these 2 sordid acts.

And now it has happened! When bestiaphilia [I even have to coin a new term for this phenomenon] occurs, it 
really highlights the sordid state of human morality. Gawd!

What if the deer was still sort of not fully dead but twitching in its death throes? Was the deer a male or female?
If it was a guy, how upsetting would it be? First he is hit, then he is sodomized
by a different species! At least he could say he was literally hit on. But still! I think the shame
would kill him, not the actual accident. I
guess female since it would otherwise be called a buck. What would it be thinking? First of all it was happily out
marauding for green grass. The next instant it's lying by a ditch, hit by some vehicle. It is in pain. Then it sees
some guy coming towards it. So it feels fear. Am I gonna be shot dead, smack btw the eyes? The next instant the
guy whips out something. The next instant it is being violated. What the heck? Dying and raped at the same time,
and by a different species! How much more indignity can you suffer?

How could the guy get it up? What now stops people from intentionally ramming down deers and then hauling em roadside and then proceeding to have intercourse with it? And perhaps to not kill it completely to ease their
conscience. He could even decide to take it home, rape it, and when it finally dies, turn it into venison. And invite his neighbours over to partake in the feast. So people, whenever your neighbours invite you over for a feast, and cant explain definitively wherefrom they obtained this meat, be very suspicious. And for heavens sake, stay away from the rump area! This guy better be severely punished, to be a deterrent, lest we have a sudden increase in deer roadkill.

Whats next?

I've heard of farmers and farming women engaging in sex with farm animals but this is taking it too far!

Now, the other day, there was this article about how 2 species can mate and then create a 3rd species. This is something I have suspected all along, especially with farmers' kids, or that suspicious looking guy with the donkey's
stubbornness, or that guy with eyes by the side of his head like a fish. But now its scientifically proven. You know what this means? It creates GAZILLIONS of new possibilities for
genetic modifications. You could say mate a horse with a cow to get a corse, which would exhibit traits such as strength, speed, power, gentileness, kindness, calmness. Then you would mate a dog with a fox, and you would get a dox - intelligent, loving, loyal, foxy, wily, sharp. Now then you mate the dox and the corse and you would have a champion
product.

Hey who knows, the Olympics of 2050 might be run by a bunch of hybrids on three legs, centaurs and whatnot. The myriad of possibilities are endlessly fascinating.

Maybe we could harvest these genes and order specific parts...I'd like a strength of an ox please..and a leg of horse..My god...what if the deer recovered, discovered it was pregnant, and gave birth to a ... whatmacallit. Would it have a birthcert?

Father: Man
Occupation: Jailbird
Mother: Deer
Occupation: Maraudes for grass
Circumstances of conception: As a result of a bestiaphilic encounter which resulted in father being sent to jail

You know how you sometimes see people with animalish traits/behaviours/physical features? I'm starting to look at em in a whole new different light now.