Modern day neanderthals

Guys who are single, will spend a lot of time hitting the gym either due to a desire to sculpt their body and use it to chase girls, or will spend a lot of time at the gym and doing various sports because it makes them happy to feel fit and physically active (me me!). They will throw themselves into their hobbies and live selfishly because that makes them happy, and will have a burning drive to achieve something career wise in the hopes that it makes them attractive to girls (usually from what I hear/see/observe).

Girls likewise who are single, will spend a lot of time hitting the gym to sculpt their bodies to attract guys. They will also spend time indulging in their hobbies since they only have to worry about their own happiness so they live a highly individualistic life with the 100% sole focus of doing whatever makes themselves happy. They will either be so indulgent in their chosen lifestyle that a career that enables them to maintain this lifestyle will suffice, or they will be hell driven to be a high flyer at work in order to use that as some sot of excuse or reasoning as to why they are single (at least I have my job!) or to get some sense of financial security.

Notice that they focus a lot on developing their bodies and doing activities that can meet members of the opposite sex. But not many focus on developing their characters and personalities! And THAT ladies and gentlemen, is where the problem is. Everyone focuses on the wrong things in themselves to improve, and also the wrong things to look for in members of the opposite sex, and hence, people like that always fall for the wrong people. Little do they realize that the lack of selflessness and consideration for others (perhaps highly influenced by their single status and hence lack of necessity to look out for anyone else but themselves) is a huge turn off, hence further cementing their inability to find genuine treasures in members of the opposite gender. First things first: you should always focus on developing your self from the inside out.

Through personal experience and observations, I have concluded that invariably, most of the time, people in relationships are happier than people who are not in relationships. But, other things will suffer. For example, people in relationships tend not to be so driven career wise and they also spend less time exercising and working out. They are contented, and don’t have that edge, that drive, that burning need to replace that hole in their lives with either an explosive social life, career or a good body; at least something to show for their lack of love life. Their lives have meaning beyond the superficial. We found better ways to spend our time.

When I was in university and very happy and contented with my relationship, I was happy to put in just enough effort into my studies and various other work initiatives, and sparingly exercise. Meanwhile, single friends/recently broken up friends etc were damn gung ho about hitting the gym, about sports, about their careers. Basically while they were out there improving themselves I was in a stationary spot happily lazing about with the girlfriend. And she was in a likewise similar situation, both of us happily eating ourselves into oblivion.

After my recent spate of singleness, I foresee that having a girlfriend again is going to lead down the same path of wanting to spend every moment together when not at work and doing the bare minimum at work so that can go home earlier to be with girlfriend. As it is, not like I was fat to begin with, but as has been pointed out, I’m rapidly losing weight…shirts no longer fit well...but now hang loosely…guess it’s time to be mature, be disciplined, and learn to fit everything in and juggle it as part of the modern 24/7 lifestyle!