Be careful what you wish for

I have always thought that I'd fall in love with a great romantic. Someone who shared many traits with me of a particular kind. And I wished that I'd meet just such a person. Someone who would not hesitate or blink to do things that I would not hesitate or blink of doing. We'd not be prudent, we'd not be financial misers, we'd know how to enjoy life, we'd appreciate things, we'd sing in the rain, we'd slip notes into each other's pockets, send SMSes to each other...

But sometimes of course, our wishes go unanswered, and we might not realize it at first, but eventually, we realize that it all works out well. Instead, we get someone who is that much more sensible, more unspontaneous, who prefers well made plans, who is not into surprises and adventures.

I'm not going to go into the stuff about how differences attract, how we can't fall in love with our mirror image, how we should embrace our differences. Thats been all well said, by people who can say it better.

But we should not limit ourselves to just that set type of people we started out wanting. We'd never find someone who fits that mould. The chances are impossible. And it is not settling for second best if we meet someone who perhaps does not satisfy all the criteria, but has other good stuff we didnt even know. I've come to realize, the romantics are the most dangerous. Their capacity to love, to love dangerously, to experience the thrills of romance, to forever want that fresh new feeling, the butterflies in the stomach, they are the ones who have difficulties facing reality when the roses wear off and life becomes a middle aged middle class existence in a middle class suburb. They are in love with being in love, with wanting.

They don't want it to end. All the nicey stuff. And they think its possible, its out there, somewhere, is someone, who is able to give them a relationship where everyday is pure romance, unbridled passion, where you just hold hands and roll through the days. Then they see their relationship, and they fail to see its good parts, fail to see what they do have, fail to see what IS love, and instead, cling on to their ideals of youthful romantic love.

And thus they are 'open' to it, hence making themselves vulnerable. These are the types who would end up straying. How many men have walked out on their families because the young pretty secretary is different? She loves me. I love her. She makes me feel passion, young, alive. Not like the cow at home, who has zero romance in her left, and everytime I come home, she has an apron on, is cutting garlic and theres 3 snotty nosed kids at home. How many women have walked out on their families because, dear Noah, this is not the life I envisioned. I never asked for this into the bargain. But Leah...Leah is different. He makes me feel like a woman. blah blah...

I'd much rather any day take the steady minded one. The one who, all said and done, does not harbor fanciful thoughts of such a nature. Who is firm about what she wants, is not wishy washy, and once set, will stay through thick and thin.