Dating - Flaunt your flaws!

Speaking with an older, wiser man the other evening...

And well, since I am going through a .. ahh .. um .. i guess the loveydovey days are over. So its time to consider the future.

And future also involves finding a suitable, right and proper girlfriend right?

So I was asking this friend.

K, how did you know, how do you know, that the girl you are dating, is THE one for you, the one you want to be with for the rest of ur life?

You just know. You just know.

I don't get it. It can't be you just know. I need precise information here. Is it something like..maybe I have been dating other girls, and then, this one, has something about her different?

Yep.

What kind of different?

You see right Alex, nowdays, people go about it all wrong. When they start dating, in order to seem attractive, they right upfront display their best qualities. When you are dating, and seeing each other a few hours at a time, a few times a week, it is easy to display only your best qualities. So the other person becomes attracted. But what happens when you are together long term, or married? Then you see them all the time. And inevitably you cannot sustain only showing your best parts.

So you are saying that is when the flaws in the person becomes obvious and is no longer hidden and comes to the surface?

Yes. And when that happens, people cannot tolerate or take it. And then, unhappiness ensues. So what you should do, is right upfront, show all your bad traits. And if you find a woman who can take it, and still accept you in spite of your bad traits, then you know you have a keeper. And on her side, things can only get better.

Whereas if I showed her my best parts right up front, later on, things only can get worse, right? Once she starts seeing my flaws.

Exactly. So what you all young people now must do when you are intending to get started in rships, is display your flaws. Both parties. And only when both parties can accept, or can compromise and tolerate the other's flaws, THEN, we have something to talk about. Otherwise, the rship wouldn't work.

Hmmm...makes sense, K. Makes sense. Thanks.

Another thing...When you are still dating, you must test her, put her in situations, see how she responds, and whether her response is OK. For example, if you forget to call her when you say you will, and she overreacts, you know you don't want a woman like that. And if you are aggressive, and efficient at work, and you want someone who doesnt think slowly at home, you must consider that as well. Or else you will get impatient with her.

Wah..thanks K. V wise.

Hmm...then how like that? We all cannot go out meeting people digging our noses, farting. burping, revealing our perverted minds and gargling our mouths and then drinking that liquid right?

Aiya...

I guess we just have to balance this out. But theres some truth in it. Right upfront, people will tend to show their good sides, maybe not necessarily to attract, but more like, dignity and not to repulse. Hmm...as far as I am concerned, 2 words can effectively summarize up everything: BE YOURSELF.

And f*ck the effort/need to put on a show. Settled!