Musings...[local gfs only henceforth]

Today was an excellent day. Despite coming home at 3am [s'thin like that. i forget. bad engris is done deliberately. for no reason at all. just because. i. can. *sticks out tongue] last night, I managed to wake at 8 plus am. Too conditioned to it, thanks to a job that basically demands u be there by 7.30 or thereabouts after which ur work habits would be crucified, magnified and ur reputation shredded to bits, fed to the dogs, and their droppings would be retrieved and then burnt to be reused as fertilizers.

So, its been a long while since I got up so early AND got to stay home and enjoy it. So I went jogging around the neighbourhood. Saw a cute doggie. Went up to pat it. Coz I REALLY did think the dog was cute. Really. But still, chatted with the owner a bit. Darn, should have brought the camera! Bitch was cute! Moi meant the dog, not the owner.

Note to self: My neighbourhood has a lot of pretty girls walking dogs. Remember to buy/beg/borrow/steal a cute puppy next time I go jogging, with the express purpose of using said canine to meet girls and once I have chatted them up remember not to kick puppy in front of girl or toss it around or know nothing about it or let go of the leash and forget bout the puppy til 1 week later.

Anyway..so..was saying, "hey, cute dog..*pat pat*...quite well behaved..how olds she?" genuine interest. the owner smiled, said something. again, i forget. its irrelevant. coz suddenly, this small ass dog (i don't normally like small dogs im more of a big dog person but this was an exception, coz like i said, the bitch was cute. the dog, not the owner) gave a yelp, lunged at me, stood on 2 back legs, 2 front cute doggie paws clutched my leg. I was kinda touched la so cute right? So friendly? Just met me? And like want to hug my leg? Then its eyes eagerly looking at me tongue out? Then I smiled at the owner la like shrug shoulders kind. Suddenly I felt something odd. No the dog didnt pee on me. Girls don't pee like that.

The dog started to HUMP me. Grind Grind Jab Jab. Please, I cannot bear to describe the sensation of a doggie prick on my leg. So...I mean..WTF?!?! Boss, I stood there for like 5 seconds blinking while the dog looked up at me happily while pumping away furiously desperate to inject my leg with its seed [DISGUSTING]..

Thought process:

- Eh. The dog looks like it is..
- HUMPING ME?!
- Cannot be la. Its girl dog wat. Eh..that red thing.. looks like its pecker babe.
- But... isnt it a girl?!
- Confused.
- Standing there while my leg was bestially molested.
- Blink.

Wanted to back away, looked at owner, laughing like mad. Anyway I pulled away and owner pulled the dog back. "Hmm..eh...isnt..isnt.. she a ..female?" "No, I never said that, you assumed!" Laughing. "what the heck! you could have corrected me. now i dont feel like jogging anymore my leg feels raped." some laughter.

Aish...wake up to a beautiful sunny morning only to be raped by a dog.

Anyway at least something good came out of this la..i managed to make friends with a neighbour.. not bad.. only thing is, 10 hours later, now, i have completely forgotten her address, her name, her dogs name, and the dogs age. but i do know wat a red doggie pecker poking ur leg feels like.

Little did I know that this is the purpose I serve.. to be brought up, fed, educated, nurtured, protected, for 24 years, only to have my virginal modesty n dignity raped by a male dog pretending to be a female dog. some more in broad daylight at the area where everyone drive past can see me engaging in a shameless public display of unprotected bestiality. no face to see ppl alredi la me..nxt time go out if i decide to wear shorts, the humped leg must be wrapped up. sorry leg.

ok, anyway, so i then came back, showered, watnot, blogged a bit, did my usual online activities...went to my fav hangout zone...The Curve. Now, I shall post about this another day but i love spending wkend daytimes alone. so i ended up..running for a bit in the gym but got lazy and hopped off after 10 minutes and ended up spending 15 mins in the sauna and then leaving. total cals burnt: maybe like 200. total cals intake for the day: prolly like 200000. wow, a roaring deficit. there goes my hulk hogan figure.

then i dropped by borders, as i alwiz do, and ended up with a purchase, as i usually do. in this month's issue of men's health (u know, if the intention of living healthy, and the buying of magazines alone could do that, i would be like super healthy n fit by now. hulk hogan would have to eat my dust) it says:

GOOD NIGHT N GOOD LUCK. We are a sleep deprived nation, and it puts nearly all of us at risk - in the gym, in the sack, on the job.

Now, I have previously blogged before that I am an insomniac. Have real problems sleeping. And at work I can really feel the negative effects. So. With regards to point:

#1 - In the gym. Its ok..I dont plan to build huge muscles..I just wanna be a:

lean mean fighting machine person who is relatively healthy n not carrying around unhealthy excess fat. yea yea fat chance, pun intended.

#2 - In the sack. Alas, I have never, since 17 years old, had a gf here in Malaysia. So, no worries, no sack action here.

#3 - At work. AHH! Major impact.

So what did Men's Health recommend?

So thats the secret...no wonder la! i sleep with my guitar/no pillow (duno end up let me kick to which corner of the room come morning)/body half hanging off the bed/no pretty girl (nice tan btw..is Men's Health further suggesting that we should go interracial for good sleep?)...about the only thing i do according to the above picture is probably the sleep attire. even that is not VERY similar..shud i take a picture of my sleep attire n post it up? haha maybe, maybe. anyway so now i know the secret to better performance at work.

i need a gf from PJ/KL.

OK..gotta run. Dinnertime!