Clearly articulate...

I normally think I am an articulate person, able to express concepts, ideas, and issues succinctly. I am able to summarize or reorder complex or complicated explanations into an easily understandable form. However, I realize now that this ability is limited only to those things where there is a fixed answer, a fixed statement, a fact, something scientific, technical and irrefutable.

For example, if you asked me to break down for you how a GDX packer that can pack 500ppm works, from the mechanical to the electrical, how it checks for quality, how it rejects, which are the main shafts and main gears, how to control its speed, how the cams relate to each other, how the air pressure is controlled and utilized, given 5 minutes to organize my thoughts, I can quite confidently proceed to provide you with an explanation that I am sure you can understand the basics of.

But when my emotional state is imbalanced, and I really do want to try explain myself to certain parties, because it’s only fair to them, as they are highly concerned about my welfare, I find myself utterly failing them because of my total inability to express my emotions and emotional state.

Why?

When it comes to abstract and ambiguous things like my emotions, though I sort of know what I am feeling, that final hurdle to join the dots from a mere emotion to verbalized form is clearly very disconnected. It is unfair to those I love and who love me, because I do owe them an expression of my emotional state, but due to my (despite spirited attempts) to articulate these things, I fail. And when I try anyhow, then what does exit my mouth does not actually closely reflect what I do feel so it ends up convoluted so no point anyway.

*PS: I think this post's meandering and utterly directionless style is such apt evidence of the abovementioned phenomenon.