I do

Heard this on the radio. That’s how I would imagine myself.

A man wakes up, super hung over, groggy as hell and feeling like shit. Looks in the mirror. Looks like shit. Vaguely remembers going out with the guys in town and hanging out at the pub with lots of hot chicks and drinking with them and doesn’t remember much more. Looks around the room. Hey the bed is made. Everything looks nice and new and clean. His clothes are neatly folded, ready for him to wear. The toiletries are all prepared. There is a love note stuck on the mirror written by his wife for him. “I love you darling. I made you your fav breakfast, its on the dinner table. And I brought your newspaper for you and made your favourite juice. Now I’m at the grocery store buying the ingredients to cook your fav food for your supper”. So this guy panics and thinks his wife probably suspects him of fooling around last night and is out to get him. He then rushes out and sees his son eating cornflakes and true to her word, his fav breakfast is warm and ready and his newspaper is there too. He feels something isn’t right, and asks his son. Son, where is mummy? The son replies mummy is at the supermarket. The dad asks well, does she seem ok today? The son goes yep, she is in a very good mood, because last night you came home so drunk, and when she tried to undress you for bed, you shoved her away and snapped ‘don’t touch me! I’m a married man now!”

That’s me right there. Married. Lots of my guy friends. Still drinking. Beautiful lovely wife. A SON (I’m a Chinaman). That’s me right there.

Of late, I find myself suddenly thinking a lot about something like… marriage!
I have had enough of relationships that don’t end up anywhere. Whatever the relationship I am now in, or the next one definitely (if it comes to that, hopefully not), is THE one already. I want to marry this girl. I want to wake up next to her every morning, kiss her eyes, and peck her cheek, and smell her hair, and touch her hand to my cheek. And repeat it when we sleep. I want to lock her up, not literally, but as in, take her off the ‘market’ (damn that word) and make her mine and all mine.

I used to be a bit paranoid of this. I mean, like, 1 girl, for the rest of your life? But when you have been floating around as long as I have, and met enough debris, and lived vicariously through others and their mistakes, you have a clear idea of what girl you want/ don’t want. And when you find one that ticks all the right boxes and also stirs you emotionally and also is a good sight to look at, then by golly, be a man and step forward to press your claim.

I think I’m starting to crave that beginning of the ‘rest of my life’, that stability, to be the recipient and giver of 100% unconditional whole hearted love. When you are younger, girls you meet are not mentally settled yet. But girls at this age, especially once they turn 25, are way more assured, settled and stable. And when you find that 1 like that, I think it is worth it to give up my drinking partying lifestyle.

I want to wake, go to work, come home, and have a nice dinner together, wash up, sit back n watch DVDs and trace circles on each others backs, give and receive back rubs, read in bed together, run along the beach with the water lapping around our ankles, go travelling around the world, give and receive little love notes unexpectedly.

And it seems the right age to start thinking of it. I will turn 25 end of this year. Let’s say I target to get married at 28. OK, what does one need to get married? After talking to various people, it seems that the figure, a good figure, would be approx RM50k. That includes everything, photos, honeymoon, dinner, etc, the whole shebang. Now, we aren’t going to get married and then end up with a big fat egg right? Must have some balance left to start us off in life as a married couple right? OK, a comfortable and safe figure would be RM50k. That’s a cool 100 grand. Now, since I already have my condo, and I intend to buy my car in the next year or so, I shan’t factor in these 2.

Now, I am a real Chinaman, and insist on paying 100% of the wedding. But knowing this girl, who has many admirable qualities, she would want to bear some of it. So let’s say we arrive at a compromise where I shoulder 70% of the costs. That means I have approx 3 years to come up with RM70k. That means, once I turn 25, over the next 36 months, I must target an average of RM2k a month of savings.

OK. [Makes some quick and private calculations]. Well, going by my current salary, and the prospects, and the trend… I would think it’s definitely possible. So it’s looking like 28.

OK, no need panic. Life is back on track. Still got a few more months to go haywire and blow my money and have fun. This time I think I’m very sure I can keep my resolutions. Whereby previously I did not have sufficient motivation, and I was doing it coz it was the right thing to do, now it’s got a whole new different feel, focus and objective to it. Hence I think I can go the distance on this one.