Foolish me. Oh, foolish me.

Feeling really REALLY really stupid and in doubt. But it is my own fault. Nobody pushed me or did or said anything to make me do what I did.

I thought I saw something. Thought I was right. Thought I was oh so right. Thought this was different, thought this was special. Thought this was going to be IT. Thought we were on the same page. Thought this was just the usual teething problems that at this phase you tend to go through but would quickly iron itself out. Thought I was doing the right thing. This after all is what I want. Thought it was the same.

But received shocking shocking revelations.

You thought this is IT, you think hey I have found the right person, the person who finally makes it worth changing and revamping yourself for, who makes it all worthwhile. Who makes me want to be different. Who inspires me to be everything I know I can be, and for her. Then you build around her, your dreams, you make this relationship the foundation of the rest of your life. Everything from this moment on you build for her and you, for us. You trusted her, you frickin idiot. You should have trusted in God instead. He was right. Build around Him, and HE will never let you down. WE were going to be one entity, and this was the beginning moments of the rest of our lives together.

Absolutely hurting right now, shall need a bit of effort to recover from this.

But can't blame nobody but me.

Nobody forced me. Perhaps I wanted it so bad, was so happy that it came true, that I chose to..see it this way. Hm.

Anyway. We walk, we run, we stumble, we fall, we rise up, we walk, we jog, we run, we see the same pothole that tripped us. This time, we aren't going to fall for it again.