Hypocrite!

I could be called a hypocrite. Double standards is my middle name.

I want my girlfriend to tell me what is it she wants. I need to know her expectations. And then, I will know what to do. I would not want to be granted an evening to play basketball with my friends thinking she is ok with it and then coming home to a black face and getting the silent treatment before she cant hold it anymore and gives me the tongue. She might think ok, i shant show him what i feel, make him think im happy, give him his basketball first. what a noble act! and then when he is back...shall express my annoyance. at least, i give him his game, and dont deny him that.

but if she truly understood him, she would realize that above all else, i want her to be happy, and hey, a game is just a game and can be played any other day. what i'd much prefer is that she tells me upfront she would be so much happier if i could go to the pictures with her. then i'd forgo the game, go watch it with her, and reschedule it (hmm, on the condition its just another game, not those competitive ones). her happiness is more important than just a basketball game. tell me what you want. be direct. dont think ur being noble and letting me play coz knowing how unhappy that makes u, it jus makes it worse for me and strips all the fun from the game and forever it will b associated with guilty feelings. theres no second guessing.

i try to apply the same to her. i truly believe that one should be upfront with ones feelings and expectations, give reasons for them, then sit back, and watch what the other person do. then you will realize how much your feelings mean to them. maybe they go well but your not being super reasonable so...yea.. i will go ahead n do it anyway .. and im sorry but its jus too bad u feel that way about it.

at any rate, there are some things i just dont want to mention because i find that i might be unreasonable. but this stuff kills me!!! ergh. irks me no end. so ... either i say unreasonable things n stuff n be a mean unreasonable bf or i just deal with my own feelings about it. so far i have chosen to be real happy and say what i know she'd want to hear, and in most cases is the reasonable case, and deal with my own unreasonableness on my own.

but hey come on, sometimes, really, i strongly do not think i am being unreasonable in certain requests. but im not sure! so ... how do i strike that damn balance? its like.. giving ur girlfriend away. no guy can tolerate that if he really has 2 genuine testicles.

goddamn. until i find out..i will continue to be a hypocritical dbl standards guy.