Cynicism, suspicion & wariness

You are a smart boy. You are a very clever fucker. Very intelligent. Stop pretending lah. We all know you are pretending to be a pig so you can trap the tiger. You little twit...you are damn smart I know, just from the things you ask and say, we all also know. But you always pretend don't know, we are also not sure if you are testing us. If you are not a MT {my position at work} who might end up becoming my boss, I would have screwed you off a long time ago.

Welcome to much of my working world. The above are true words spoken by people below me in rank, and above me in rank as well.

As this post's title suggests, this post is not sweetly sweet, expounding on the virtues and positive aspects of the human psyche. Instead, it shall focus on the above 3 characteristics, but instead of extolling on how it comes into play in relationships etc, I want to talk about how it affects me at work.

You know, at work, I try to be humble. I really don't think I know much. There is a lot I want to/need to know, and to know this, I have to ask questions right? And even if I know, there is no need to strut around like a proud peacock right? I try to be humble, respectful and fair in my approach. And what I talk about/ask, is genuinely to fill up the gap in knowledge of certain things I think I should know, work wise. I never test people.

So I hate it that this good natured ness has been taken by others as me pretending to be a pig to trap the tiger. Come on, do I seem so low witted to you, to do something like that, and yet, make it so blatant that even you realize it? Gosh...

People nowdays are soo cynical, suspicious and wary. When a young man comes in, asks good questions, tries to be humble while amassing information, it is seen as negative. People actually expect you to exhibit negative characteristics. Good characteristics are seen as smoke and mirrors.

Maybe its my spiky hairstyle, and non conforming looks. It makes them think I am such and such a person, as has been told to me in confidence before. People cannot have spiky hair AND be nice is it? Perhaps what I should do, is, shut up, act arrogant, strut a bit, be more bullish, cut my hair super short to conform, tuck in my shirt all the time, wear the pants to my chest, and then, people will say, "what an unfake! i love it!"