Female friends with benefits

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Currently listening to: Phil Collins & Genesis - Wish it would rain down

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Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally Albright: Why not?
Harry Burns: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally Albright: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: You only think you do.
Sally Albright: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry Burns: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: How do you know?
Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally Albright: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally Albright: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?
Harry Burns: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally Albright: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.
Harry Burns: I guess not.
Sally Albright: That's too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York.

>

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Just got back from a quick lunch round the corner with a friend. Another interesting conversation...

My friends of the fairer sex have a common lament. "Why do my guy friends eventually go after me or confess their love? Why can't we be just friends without complicating things? It sucks.. because usually after being rejected, they slink away with tail between their legs, and would you believe it, some even have the cheek to resent me after that! It's not my fault I don't like them that way!"


Dear me. I just want to say 2 things on this beautiful Saturday, sunny shiny morning.

One

There are many guys out there who despite their bravado (sharper girls can see right through this bravado and recognize it for what is is - macho BS) secretly don't have much female friends, much contact with females, females who treat them in a way that is not neutral, with low self esteem, etc etc. There are many girls out there who naturally try to be nice and friendly to everyone. To them, it is a matter of being well brought up and cordial, nothing that they went to the extra mile to do for a guy. Sometimes of course, she values this friendship and is willing to go that extra mile to help someone out. Now, to the abovementioned vulnerable guys, since girls acting in a way that is not neutral and not negative is a rare occurrence, they immediately think:


1. No girl treat me like that b4.
2. But this girl treat me so good.
3. I only treat a girl extra good if I at least sort of want her or don't mind that idea.
4. Meaning this girl sort of wants me or doesn't mind that idea.
5. Meaning I got chance!
6. Meaning no need to fear rejection and ego damage!
7. Meaning I should go for it and give it a shot!
8. And so I will! Then he goes n tries.


Now the poor girl, who was just being cordial friendly and nice to everyone, suddenly receives the shocker. Then she has to gently reject him. And so he continues..

9. OK I've been rejected. That wasn't so pleasant. *rubs massages n soothes ego*
10. Hmm...but I thought she liked me. Based on her behaviour to me.
11. Why she mislead me?!
12. *Resent* [slinks away, and in many cases, fship stops here] So the poor girl, feels a bit upset. Why so unfair wan? Just friends only mah! Just being nice! I never treat him super duper extra good compared to how I treat others! And now I am being blamed and sort of need to tone down? What the heck? Always like this...sheesh.


Ahh...
- - - - - - - -


Ladies and gentlemen...such is the ways of the world, usually, unless you meet a guy sensible enough to recognize when a girl is being nice to everyone, and EXTRA NICE to SOMEONE. And if he had misunderstood and misread the signals, to grow up, absorb, and continue la. What for lose a great friend over your own silly pride and insecurities (which have probably been exacerbated). See, if we only open up our eyes more, theres so much to be gained having friends from both genders!



Having guy friends:

- Someone to eat with, any time of day (KFC? bananaleaf rice? n wouldn't look at you in horror going but darling, thats 1345 calories!)
- Someone to play sports with, any time of day
- If you can't finish your food, he cleans it up gratefully
- Someone to walk you to your car
- Offers a diff perspective on situations
- Can be an idiot and provide lots of laughs
- Quite generous with $ and not too calculative
- Knows how to goes places
- Alcohol on demand
- Use him to meet potential mates
- Can swear to your heart's content and we'd still be proud of you
- Can indulge in ur weird habits like spitting distance contests (yep S, referring to you here)

And having girl friends (from personal experience)

- Someone you can hand write a letter too and not get laughed at and the letter photostated and passed to all ur guy friends for laughs (az your letters were beautiful..I still got them all..those I haven't lost)
- Someone who can go shopping with you and offer opinions
-provided she has good taste (thanks HG!!!)
- Always willing to share food they cooked when I have nothing to eat (CW..u shud b a chef)
- Someone to boost my ego by losing to me in sports (hey HG, u again!)
- Someone to listen to my myriad ramblings n emo stuff (thats most of u, thks)
- Someone to tolerate sudden outbursts of emo without getting the guys all looking at u or weird and then suddenly inching away from you (again, most of you)
- They always remember your birthdays and make it a point to give you a memorable birthday..i've had everything from an expensive guitar, a painting, books, clothes, shoes all the way to handsewn soft toys (the GIS girls in melb..u were the best - really, truly) - They never hesitate to lend you their stuff and are always happy to share recipes with you proudly (ja..ur bulgogi is almost always a roaring success)
- Provide a refreshingly different perspective and opinion (ALL of you)
- Help me realize my weaknesses and make me grow (yep jo, u evil witch but thank you) - Make me laugh at their blurness (esp when they start hair twirling or stare at one spot unblinkingly with a stoning far away look). - Accompanying me to places to enjoy them that I can't go to with guys (KL, AS, W, E..) and not feeling awkward and going on and on with me into the night.

Wow..suddenly feel a dash of emo-ness...and a sudden sense of exteme guilt at not being nicer to them..must not take them for granted.. must not... must not...very grateful and lucky indeed. How to be a better friend to them? Must try.. must try...

Az n JA..10 years n still going strong..(apprpriately blur to retain anonymity)
BC..almost 10 years..from babies to adults
melb would have been lesser w/o you..and those still there..quickly come back!
k...enough pics.