Grow up lad.

Maturity...

What is it?

Of late, it is an oft pondered question with me.

As Reka Ruki says (and I'm blatantly plagiarising without consent here buts its OK don't worry she will find out soon enough and if she tries to retaliate, hey, I know where she lives):

A life steeped in obedience and goodness is a life I will never know. Quarter of a century old and non the wiser nor maturer…I wonder when I will actually become good. Like sustainably-long-lastingly-till-the-end-of-eternity-and-beyond good. Not coz-i’m-in-a-fanciful-gee-i’d-like-to-be-good-for-a-change sort.

Disciplinary issues haunt yet again. Its like I can never get it right even with the best of intent!!

(Full Post)

There are so many yardsticks and criteria for what constitutes maturity, and maturity in 1 department may not be maturity in another. Aish so difficult. I try. As I have recently turned 24, I have to now enact the pledges I pledged to myself, that when I turn 24, I. will. grow. up. But like Ruki says, yep, I'm haunted by discipline issues. Of course, we are indisciplined in different ways. But she is right.. we have the best intent..but..somehow.. the execution is flawed.

It takes self control.

Ruki is so right ... when will I become good.. like good:

- because I want to do certain things due to their being the right thing to do and I actually WANT to do it and derive pleasure knowing I'm doing the right thing and I can effortlessly do this right (albeit shitty though at that point I will not view it as shitty of course) thing without any issues

and not merely doing good coz

- its the right thing to do so i will do it even though i dont really believe in it and i hate doing it and i cant bring myself to do it but since its right to do i will do.

Well both will give you the same outcome in the short term. So, is maturity jus DOING what is right, in spite of whether one actually happily does it?

Because from the above examples, I still have a lot of things in the second category...and thats not long term sustainable. The aim is to move all of our time/money/emotional/attitude to work mismanagement issues to the first category. Then we can find true happiness and achieve enlightenment along the Path of The Five Fold Way. haha...

There is a third category.. which is.. I know I shudn't do this... but.. screw it... I will and let nature take care of itself. Prime example: Blogging at 1 15am on a work day tomorrow where I have to wake at 7am.

Haih... I have too many things in category 2 and 3 to render me mature. Now that I'm 24.. I want to move it all to Category 1..hope I can be successful... so my outlook changes to such that I will happily and willingly move these things into Category 1. Without having to try soo hard to do something right just coz I know its what I'm supposed to do. Maybe true maturity is doing the right thing effortlessly, without needing to feel like u have to try. And this 'Category' business sounds like a porn industry classification system!

Hmm... think I lost a number of you back there!