Girl, so you think you dress well?

We've all seen ppl like that before - they think they dress well, or look good, when in fact, we don't really think so. Well, if they feel comfortable with what they are wearing, if they like it and thats good enough for them regardless of others' opinions, well and good.

But lets not talk about such saintly people shall we?

Lets focus purely on the aesthetics alone. Now, before I proceed with a diatribe against all and sundry, let me firstly add a disclaimer to this post:

The author of this article actually has really bad fashion sense, no taste at all whatsoever as many will no doubt testify to, so whatever he says please take it with a pinch of salt. For all you budding fashionistas out there, go on, do ur thang, and ignore whatever I say if it does not sit well with you. Its just a personal opinion but its not personal.

OK First order of business for the day: capri pants.

Why do some girls get in into their heads that capri pants are nice? A few mates of mine totally think that capri pants soo do not maketh a woman look good. Ok, granted, maybe they are comfortable - hell, like heck I would know. But the point is, capri pants does nothing for your body shape aesthetically...its hard to find a good pair...and a loose pair does not display your no doubt abundant assets in a just way. To illustrate my point I have actually been 'boh liao' enough to search for examples. By the way, this point also extends to long shorts. Shorts should be around half thigh length (and shorter heh). A few inches longer is fine but please for gods sake don't go close to the knee or else it is like wearing a guy's shorts and how often do you see a curvy guy in shorts?!

See! Hideous...no figure lai dat...v hard to find a good fitting pair..one that ends calf length yet fits the bum and legs

See again! So 'flat' and 'straight' like men's slacks.. we (ME) want curves!

Secondly: Cowlnecks. At one stage in Melbourne, they were alll THE rage...(I should know, I bought quite a few myself.....for the girlfriend...relax)..See, cowlnecks look real classy and nice...IF mixed/matched and worn appropriately...the whatever-you-wear-inside has got to be tasteful, or else, keep your cowlneck high.

Nice jeans too...

What you wear inside, if you got a low cowlneck, better not be a turtleneck or something high up of that variety...but the worse cowlneck sin I have encountered is a too big neck...thats really bad..it looks like you have a realllly big head which you had to force into your cowlneck top, which resulted in the neck being maximum stretched.

Aiyo...doesn't she have honest friends...

Third: Jeans. Now, as the girlfriend has repeatedly drilled into me, its the JEANS, silly.

Me: "Hey, that girl has great legs.."
Her: "Its the JEANS, silly"

Me: "Hey..that girl got a very nice bum.."
Her: "Its the JEANS, silly"

Me: "Hey...she got very nice curves right?"
Her: "Its the JEANS, silly"

Granted, if you tried to fit something ugly into a pair of jeans, it's not gonna be transformed into something hot. I totally think it's the legs and bum themselves as well... I mean, come on, you've GOT to have SOME quality, so when you put on nice pair of jeans, hey presto, now you look even better. So, I always argue that yep the jeans enhances/improves etc, but the legs and bum in the first place must have hit minimum quality acceptance levels. So when I push for this, occasionally the girlfriend will agree...

Her: "Eh, quickly check out that girl across the road..standing under that sign"
Me: "Where?..Oh..yes, quite hot. See the arch on her back? I love that arch..the small of the waist...makes the bum look nice..right or not?"
Her: "Yah..not bad [oggling]"
Me: "Hmm...how come so many people wear those kind of jeans but I don't see those kind of backs around... I think she must have a reaallly good figure underneath it [trying not to oggle, be polite la]"
Her: "I guess so...but also, its the JEANS, silly"

Hmmm....OK, personally, if you have a kinda large-ish waist, please don't wear those ultra low slung hipsters...its no visual orgy to be exposed to a roll (or two) of fat peeking at me...this is a reaallly common sight in Melbourne...and they do it with those midriff baring tops. If you got a realllly small ass and watnot, don't go and wear jeans that are too big. Jeans, should be fitting. They don't need to be tights. Just fitting.

Nice...just fitting. *Thanks to model*

Next: I am going to combine 2 things in one. Top. When going for a simple top, a simple shirt that is fitting, displays the waist, is good enough. No need to be fancy, no need to be revealing, no need to be short. And, fit it with a miniskirt. A miniskirt IS ALWAYS CORRECT. MINISKIRTS NEVER GO WRONG. Ever.

Nice..simple fitting top with a miniskirt, always a killer combo *Thanks to model*

Another example of a simple top with thigh length shorts...(A smiley face for annonymity reasons..)


You know what else not to do? Wearing a shirt that is way too tight when you should try to lose some gut. For health reasons as well. [Fitness experts say hip-waist ratio is much more accurate in determining health compared to BMI]. Never ever (unless pregnant) wear something that makes your stomach protrude more than your bosom.

Hmm...and rock hard looking breasts? Definitely no.

Hmm...another thing. Some decolletage is fine. Just a subtle hint is great. No need to overdo it. Overkill is not appetising.

Lastly. When girls wear those nicely slung hipsters? Soemtimes they put those (not belts) bits of cloth or tassels (like the Magic Carpet) or something that comes out over the ass..? THATS real nice.

And with that, let me sign off this post with the appropriate anti-flaming disclaimer. At the end of the day, who cares what shallow idiots like me think? If you like what you wear, if you feel nice, etc etc, go ahead, make yourself happy. There will always be idiots anyway. Prolly like me.