Wednesday, January 10, 2007

A piece of cake

It was another long tiring day at work. Got home circa 10pm. Well, whats new?
At this state of my personal life, I somehow feel that I might as well pour everything I got into work. At least there are tangible returns. But also, my sense of duty, responsibility and desire to prove myself would not allow me to leave work until the operations are running smoothly and settled. So, after another lonely, silent drive home, with Neil Young [Heart of Gold], Frankie [Strangers in the Night], Clarence Clearwater Revival [Have you ever seen the Rain] to accompany me, I fell into a silent, thoughtful, nostalgic reverie.

Which reminded me of a passage in one of Haruki Murakami's novels, Sputnik Sweetheart:

So that's how we live our lives. No matter how deep and fatal the loss, no matter how important the thing that is stolen from us - that's snatched right out of our hands - even if we are left completely changed people with only the outer layer of skin from before, we continue to play out our lives this way, in silence. We draw ever nearer to our allotted span of time, bidding it farewell as it trails off behind. Repeating, often adroitly, the endless deeds of the everyday. Leaving behind a feeling of immeasurable emptiness.

Would that how life be like if someone went through life without THAT one loving person? A colleague is now facing the same question I had previously faced. Her boyfriend is working overseas. Should she:

A) Give up her current job, go overseas to be with him. And start all over again. With uncertain prospects.

B) Basically break up and stay on here.

The factors are: Boyfriend is a great guy, the likes of which she thinks it is unlikely for her to ever meet again in this lifetime. Her career in this company is going really really well, the bosses love her, she has a clear and quick-to-rise path. If she stays, confirmed, she is going to do well.

Hmmm...decisions decisions.

Whats the point of making a lot of $ and being professionally proud n watnot if you come home to an empty house and spend ur birthdays alone and on wkends while everyones out with that special someone or other, u are alone because you are starting to get used to and like being alone. And sometimes you find that the company you keep while being alone is much more enjoyable than the alternatives. Is that a sign and the first symptom of people starting on that lifelong journey of bachelorhood/spinstership?

Then again you have to make sure that the guy is really the right one, who is worth it. There is nothing worse than putting your career on the backburner for the wrong guy.

Hmmm...decisions decisions.

Isnt life a piece of cake?

A piece of cake, a piece of cake...

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