Saturday, April 28, 2007

She's Electric

She's cool, she's one-of-a-kind, she's her own island..She's........

Damn it ! I am not leaving this place. *grabs on to a telephone poll*

I've pocketed a sample from the sands of Patong Beach, sticking into a bottle and labelling it - Summer of 2007. Youth is sure as hell not wasted on the young if these 3 nights were anything to go by!

I GOT A TATTOO!! Woohoo! wanna have a look? Write me for my address and you can come visit my place.
I FINALLY SAW THAI- KICKING BOXING!! The throbbing blood thirsty testosterone infested crowd, the raw vibe of just pure brute strength coming from the ring. The sweat, the blood, the glory.
I GOT SEDUCED BY 19298 local girls!! But I am a man of integrity .......................
so I shan't disclose to you what I did with them.
I AM BURNT AND TAN!!! So sick of my naturally fair iridescent glowing skin. I wanna be burnt and I did. I tell you,the pain and the peeling feels great
I SAW SWORD-FISHES, as our ferry made its way to Phi Phi island. I haven't seen clear blue in a long long time.

Of course no experience is ever complete without the now and then bout of sentimentalism and there were moments when I took a look at all my friends and wondered if we'd all be like that in the years to come. Who's gonna be the better dad, who the better husband, if any would be a bachelor for life ( at the rate things are going, that might be me) and if we're doomed to all get fat and boring one day.

I still struggle to find one good all encompassing word to describe this place.Exotic, tropical yet with so much associations with the western world. Most hostels here have got Nordic names. Its almost magic..something about it leaves you in a drugged yet electrified. I swear, I might have even shaved my head bald without a flinch of my biceps. Being with your best blokes that you grew up with is truly a relief from all the complexities that career and the opposite gender generates. Don't get me wrong, I love girls but sometimes all a guy would like is a lil dash of simplicity. Ok fine I'm not exactly the epitome of that either but aiyah, dunno how to explain. You should know what I mean and if you don't either get a life or an imagination!

There's something cool about blogging from your holiday destination and airport terminals. Right, they're hollering...gotta go now. I wanted to blog a bit more bout my favourite topic - Girls! No time! Next time you'll hear from me , I'd be back in the real world. Bummer!

Wednesday, April 25, 2007


Whoops...wrong lingo.

Finally! Touched down at the airstrip and the moment I stepped off the plane, I beheld the blue blue sea ahead of me and the salty smell of the sea breeze greeted my fine specimen of a nose.

I'm in sunny sunny Phuket with a whole battalion of my best sei tongs. 4 days and 3 nights of hedonistic decadance awaits us boys/guys/men ( take your pick). All decked out in sunnies, bandanna, sleeveless tee, shorts and flip flop.

The transfer to our hotel took forever but we finally arrived in good time. There's still light and like a true IT geek, I went in search of a cybercafe. Needed to transfer my funds. The keyboards are a bit greasy but so am I so who cares.

Well I'm done, and running off to some topless beach my friend has been raving about. Need to source out the best watering holes, the best place for chicks, need to make our mark and leave a trail of destruction behind us. Will upload pics since I've got tonnes of time anyway here. To all you corporate rats holed up in your little cubicles....suckers!

No of course not, seriously there's more on my mind that I'd like to post about but the waves beckon and I can't resist.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

2 cases to ponder

I am shocked.

Recently, I met up with a friend of mine, whom I have known since yonks ago from her days as a naive, innocent, nice young girl, and its been a few months since we last caught up.

Of course, she has changed a lot. But when I found out what she's been up to, it hit me hard that she has changed 
much more than what I previously suspected.

In a nutshell...this previous bastion and unshakeable upholder of moral righteousness has recently decided to be the
society-dreaded 'other woman'. Basically this guy who also has a girlfriend and who has claimed that they are going to 
get married made a pass at my friend, who accepted. Now, this guy is good looking and whatnot, and apparently,
might be having not just 1 but several side dishes simultaneously. Now, my friend and this guy is engaged in a
totally 100% purely physical rship. Both sides know what the other person wants, which is precisely all they are
willing to give anyway, so no misunderstandings there. No chances for hurt.

Moral rights and wrongs aside, I am just stunned. How could my friend have changed so drastically? The only thing
that has happened is that she went through a really tough break up.

OK another case. a friend of mine recently also broke off with her bf of many many years. She basically just fell out of love. After a rship that has spanned 8 years, 2 continents and numerous ups n downs, she just 'ran dry' &
'fell out of love'. After listening to her side of the story I completely understand how and why so and I don't blame
her. So they broke it off. But she is quite fine, quite ok, and runs around happily.

So these 2 cases got me pondering...

How badly can one take a breakup? I mean.. no need so drastic right? Breakups make ppl do a complete 180
from what they used to be. Breakups can make or break you. And...its scary when a girl whom you have trusted and placed all ur faith hopes dreams and building everything on/for can just pull out and say she has fallen out of

Friday, April 20, 2007

Little scquare boxes

Of course, I still have some traces of the idealist I once was. As such I believed that some people ARE capable of goodness. Unfortunately, our society refuses to allow for or accept that.

Everyone has certain principles they live by. These principles that guide us to in certain situations react in certain
ways could very likely be in complete contrast to the stereotype of us generated by how we normally look and act. 

So apparently the way I normally look and act makes people think I am type X. However, there have been instances
where the situation calls for me to do certain things that are generally thought to completely contrast with what
type X people do. Hence, instead of taking any other alternative routes, instead of considering that I may REALLY
be like that etc, the route that is chosen is to perceive me as a fake, a liar, an actor, who is really a type X, but
for various reasons, pretend to be another type.

It seems that the world has come to a stage where being nice cannot even be considered a viable option, and there
must be something not right about someone who is must be an act! BUT if you are flawed and uncaring...
THEN you are sincere and genuine. Maybe it is how people rationalize to explain, justify, or cover up that in those
situations, they did not act the right way.

The people who brought me up, and how they brought me up, has sort of conditioned me to be such and such. Why
is it that people find it so hard to believe so? It seems that people love to look at you, and form little square boxes
in their minds of what they perceive you as, and then fit you into those boxes. And instead of changing the box's
dimensions and parameters as they know you better, it is far easier to explain away whatever doesn't fit into their
original myopic and incorrect boxes by just attributing such gaps to 'he is a liar. he is a faker. he is an actor. he
is not himself. he is portraying an image. for such n such reasons. because of such n such objectives. because of
such n such reasons.'

Wow, thats thick, babe.

I don't hold it against such people. I am not angry. Every1 is entitled to their own opinions, right or wrong. The
point is that it is disappointing when people are now viewing everyone as inherently flawed already, no 1 is
capable of goodness, and goodness = fake. And I don't even mean saintly goodness. Goodness is as basic as doing
the RIGHT thing, as far as you know. Thats it.

And so, knowing this, I have 2 options:

1) Remain who I am, and allow people to label me incorrectly.
2) Change a bit, to prevent incorrect labelling.

Its a no brainer. Option #1 is the way to go.

Friday, April 13, 2007

Blithering idiotic countrymen can rot in hell

Bloody idiots!!!

As usual bloody Malaysians again rear their ugly, ignorant, cowardly heads.

THIS is our chance to RIGHT things. But because of ignorance, fear, weak mindset, cowardice...
we again VOTE decisively to fuck things up.

Well, Machap, a v good early indicator of the GE results, has been recaptured by the BN.

Why is it so hard? Gawd...the last GE we gave an overwhelming mandate to the current govt...and where has that gotten us? Increasingly draconian, ridiculous, failure policies, and a PM that is all talk and inspite of his ramblings,
we are doing worse on all the important fronts - corruption, competitiveness, etc. Come on, we used to be ahead
of S. Korea and Taiwan but now we are comparing ourselves to Ghana and Nigeria!?

This is our chance to deny them that two third majority, instill some fear in them, and p'haps less robbing.

Oh well, as long as we have blithering idiots who go 'dont care dont care as long as i got rice to eat right now' as
fellow countrymen, the rest of us are doomed. I refuse to go down because a bunch of nitwits voted away my future. Its time to activate backup plans.

Do you know what will happen with the return of this govt? More n more work will be given to CERTAIN class of 
peoples only, majority from one race. Without due diligence, without proper tendering processes. All based not
on merit but on nepotism and cronyism. You end up having all Malay toll operators, 90% Malay-owned stalls along
all major highways, and the entire Putrajaya, Cyberjaya etc all the contracts, done by Malays who have not yet
proven their competency. So what happens?

Our Immigration dept becomes flooded!!! What a hilarious thing, if only it wasn't so embarassingly shameful.

Well guys. It's clear. I live in a nation of buffoons. Tis a sad sad day indeed for the rest of us people who really do
love the country and hoped it could be saved. Hope was dashed today.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

More Moore please

- - -

1) Julianne Moore is hot as she is. 20 years ago she must have set many a young man's heart a flutter. She good.

2) M2M is underappreciated. They good.

3) Atomic Kitten [Whole Again!] is underappreciated. They good.

- - -

Who says women have a certain use-by expiry date? That is capped at like 30 or something? No! I beg to differ.

I want a wife who will age gracefully and become sexier with age.

Ah of course...I can't just not do my part to prevent a tummy. Ok thats irrelevant. Point is.. it IS possible. I am greatly heartened ... Julianne Moore looks great with age. So does Demi Moore. Susan Sarandon would have made the cut
a few years back. How about Sharon Stone? No, not Madonna. Maybe Jodie Foster. Ashley Judd. Carina Lau. QiQi, All these people. How do they do it? I must learn their secret!

I would make a fortune.

See, some of my friends. Their parents no longer sleep in the same room. Perhaps 1 party snores too loud. I reckon
the love is gone. replaced with disgust. the young waif like woman who he married has been replaced by this..this..
vile creature with the bad morning breath, cucumber over the eyes, straggly permed hair, age lines. And the strapping
young man with the solid muscular body..has turned into the phlegm filled, sagging face lines, fat, saggy titted blob
of a male.

Cannot! We must not allow ourselves to age. We must not allow ourselves to go to rot. We cant halt the aging process. But we can minimize its effects! Otherwise, how can we blame the spouse for losing passion when we have
neglected our health? Aesthetics do matter hey, and any1 who denies that is definitely lying. When old..must eat
right, must exercise. Must remain taut.

This aging thing has hit me recently. I used to be able to go days and nights without sleep. Hard drinking, partying,
smoking, had no effects on me. I could dance from midnight til the sun broke.

Now!? Cannot. leg pain when dance too long. Smoke too much? Lungs hurt. Can no longer do 10km as fast as I could. Drinking recovery time has increased.

And I am just 24! No. cannot.

- - -

I have noticed I have a very Neanderthal jawline. Now this probably explains my total lack of aesthetic qualities, especially from the side. Sigh.. no wonder I've had no luck. If you see my face from the side, you will see my entire lower jaw protruding out like an ape.

- - -

A colleague suggested an interesting proposition to me today. Does aesthetically good looking people have a career edge over aesthetically challenged folks? Now...why would she choose ME?!! Right. I play the part of the latter category. Thats where I come in. And then she asked, does taller people create better perceptions, as a leader and watnot? And the truth is.. its true!

- - -

Havent gymmed for a LONG. TIME. now. hence body not feeling good..need to sweat, need to run, need to feel fatigue. i need sports! itchy. ergh. too bad m'sians don't have taste.. all play football..only.

- - -

Also noticed my company doesn't hire fat people.

- - -

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Unmelodic Musings

Time and relationships are so transient in nature. Given time, time and more time, most relationships will mean differently to us as their context in our current lives change. Time moves fast. You'd be trundling along in your life and then hit a date where you remember exactly what you were doing this date 1 year ago, and you realize, heck, it's been a year!

- - -

Rships, rships rships around me everywhere. New ones. People not fully aware of this great journey and commitment they are about to embark on. Current ones. And....recently over ones. It's sad how distance, time, lack of physical closeness, lack of thorough understanding of the other party, being too emotionally caught up in affairs of their own daily lives to pay attn to their other party etc can erode even the best rships. But it is understandable.

It's not the emotional, heavy, psycho, drama laden breakups that are bad. With this kind, you know that a lot of emo
went into it, and theres alwiz a chance of one party being too brash, and when things boil over, they might retract,
the status quo might change. The worst are the quiet, calm, sad, rational, deliberate ones. These ones have been
carefully considered, thought out and weighed. Such decisions are unlikely to be reversed. HOPE is gone.

Flames to dust. Lovers to friends. Why do all good things come to an end.

- - -

Love. Is it possible to love 2 people, not simultaneously, in 1 lifetime? Isn't love, by virtue of its essence, a once in a lifetime thing? That depends I guess on our definition of love. When one is old and is hooking up with a second
partner, that'd be companionship, not love. Right? Love.. it is a passionate, all encompassing, once in a lifetime,
truly truly touch your soul kind of thing, romance filled, willing to sacrifice for the other party, etc. How can one declare that they love someone, and some time later, declare to someone else they love them? Maybe it is possible but I am not really sure how so, for me. Once in a lifetime. Unless you think you're in love now...and then you meet someone else and things are even better and you go..hey that wasnt love.. THIS is...

- - -

How many ppl remain in rships because they have not the strength nor courage to travel the road of life alone? And 
are not fully 100% happy in their rship but just accommodate accommodate bend make do etc? Is the partner, who
obviously then isn't loving/considerate/alert enough to improve things still bloody worth it? I used to think such ppl are weak. Then a friend told me but no she think such ppl are strong. After all it takes greater strength to put up or do
things that don't fully make you happy compared to things that make you happy. Well thats true. But after mulling
over this...I've come to the conclusion that yes maybe the strength part is correct. But strength has no relevance to
this. The point is: Why go on?

- - -

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

You are 2X today!

[My prev post - still cant stop playing in my head!]

For once, I shall not talk about myself.

This post is about a friend.

Who has selflessly accompanied me on my late night sojournes... at 3am, 4am, 5am. Who entertains my zillion and 1 irritating questions about anything and everything. Who has steadfastedly not run away (most of the time) when I am acting up or just not acting my age. Who has not let me down when I have requested her help and endured my pinches, lame jokes, passive smoke, & taught me some stuff about life and myself in return.


Drift you might, but never will you be cast adrift. Happy bumming, drifting and enjoying life!

Monday, April 09, 2007

Flames to dust..Lovers to friends..

[Listening to - Nelly Furtado: All Good Things Come To An End]

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end

How true...and how infinitely sad...shan't elaborate anymore.

Nelly Furtado is getting better and better isn't she? There's Maneater. There's Promiscuous. And another top
fav.."Say It Right".

And now, "All Good Things Come To An End", with its haunting melody. So good it made me grab my guitar
and play it non stop 5 times. Crazy huh...Each song evoking a totally different mood & feel. Switching between genres with ease. 

And she is beautiful and sexy in a non conventional way. Being a madfan of Coldplay, I couldn't resist sticking in this collab b/w Chris Martin and Nelly - who has some great shots in this video.

There's several versions for download...make sure you get the one with Chris Martin (different from the one on the YouTube v-clip). For more clips to her live performance/MTV, youtube it.

Friday, April 06, 2007



In approx 8 hrs I should be Down Under. Sadly, this won't be the Land 6000km away...rather, it's just 300 plus km South. But I guess I shouldn't complain, right? After all, anything good is welcome. Any break from work is welcome.

Ahh...Phantom of the Opera...[The Phaaaaaantom of the Opera is there.....inside my mind..]

Look forward to returning to Timbre..and Jazz @ Southbank. Ooh.. all my fav nooks & crannies...!

And this time I won't be boarding with friends n relatives as per norm..nope, gonna get meself a HOTEL room! Ahh..

Getting on a bus..reading for 6 hrs..or sleeping...or thinking/planning work related stuff..going to my hotel...running in n out alone...wandering like a lost sheep albeit happily.. solo attendance of above events...calling out old buds...hoisting my camera everywhere I go. Should I be a fake Jap
tourist? Along with the requisite camera slung over my shoulder...maybe I should wear a polo shirt tucked into knee length khaki shorts (with the belt showing) and wear sandals and knee high socks.

[Silently guffaws at ridiculous scene]

Don't see whats soo enticing about Chymes...St James Power Station..frankly, St James is like our Asian Heritage
Row but instead of in a street, in a building. And AHR is better.

Ok...its 5am...I still reek of alcohol..better start packing! Eventful wkend coming up, eventful wkend coming up.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Love unguardedly...or wholeheartedly?

when loving...or falling in love...or being in a rship...

should 1 allow oneself to completely open up, unlock all emotional barriers, bare one's heart, and allow oneself to
love unreservedly, unguardedly? hence increasing the risks and consequences of being hurt? but also increasing the
odds that it would work out?

or would it be more prudent to tread very very cautiously, lest one opens up oneself and  thus increases ones vulnerability and potential to be hurt? and thus risk the other party also doing likewise since they see that u are 
not committing..and thus dooming what could work.

some say the latter, as u never really know or understand people, and people change. if u loved wholeheartedly,
when a change of heart are left high n dry.

but if we do thus, would it not doom the rship? if both parties were afraid of emotionally investing and committing, then would it not severely dampen the rship's chances of succeeding?

all successful rships involve at least 1 party making that jump, that courageous and laudable leap of faith.

if we held back, we mights well not go into it, coz eventually, it aint gonna work out either.

i reckon we shud think v v v carefully BEFORE going into a rship. but once ur in, ur in. don't hesitate. don't shuffle
ur feet. dont wiffle waffle. dont stick one foot out the door ready to bolt at the first signs of trouble. think
carefully b4 u jump. but once u jump, JUMP. dont hop.

jury's still out on that one though.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Uniforms, pride, donkey

Back when I was in still in Melb (hip hip hooray), while awaiting the granting of my PR and seeking
a permanent job, I worked for a couple of months at Subway.

This was the one on Swanston Street, opposite KFC, in Parkville, just outside Unimelb premises.

So, we had to wear our Subway uniforms. Which I could understand, so, fine. Then, one day, the manager came in, and handed us badges. And we had to pin these badges on our shirts. The badges, I cannot remember what the hell
it said, but it was something like oh we will give you good service and this and that yada yada yada. I think.

I forgot exactly.

But the feeling is imprinted in my head. I hated it. I hated it because I felt ... it was derogatory. It was demeaning, insulting, and I had too much pride and integrity for this. Once I wore that badge, I felt like a dog, like
I was wearing a tag, a label, like MY identity ceased to exist, like oh I need this job so bad I will do anything to
keep it. No way, Jose. Too much pride. Ain't gonna allow myself to be in any such situation. After all, I didn't
need the job or the money.

Now before I proceed, 2 disclaimers:

(1) This is just me. I might be totally erroneous in this feeling, so go ahead and blame me. You could say aiya just a badge la dont be so touchy just wear and work la.
(2) If you, dear reader, happen to be in the currently described scenario, let me please remind you of point (1), do not feel offended, and remember it is my misplaced sensitivity.

Ok, continue.

So I hated it. I never wore it regardless of whether the boss was there, and I told myself if they made it an issue, I would quit. 

So, fast forward 2 years, and here I am, working for a major blue chip company. It has many departments, and it
so happens that to build solidarity or perhaps provide a sense of professionalism (I'm not sure why exactly) my
dept subjects its staff to a uniform.

Now in this case, I can accept it, to a certain extent. Saves $ spent on working attire. Problem is that it is ugly. The shirt does not fit well, there is bad cutting, and after wearing it, (no matter what, it is alwiz like 3 sizes too large) everyone seems to look uniformly like penguins or some triangle shaped blob or something with a belly. Its just aesthetically no good due to the size and cutting. The white color (though it reminds me of my cousin's St Johns Brigade uniform) is fine.

However, this dept/company regularly runs these initiatives and campaigns. And SOMETIMES these campaigns and what not require us to wear newly assigned uniforms just for certain days, during the initiative launch or whatever. Now, I have a problem with this. I am starting to get that same sick feeling I used to get in Subway when they wanted us to wear the badges. It is eating at me. And pissing me off.

Do. Not. Ever. Want. To. Feel. Undignified. Do not want to feel a loss of identity. Do not want to feel I am just 
some desperate for his job fool ever willing to make an ass of himself. I've got pride, self respect and an
unhealthy n unproportionate sense of what is and is not insulting. I hope this uniform stuff subsides.

[On the other hand, I am probably reading too much into it, being overly sensitive and touchy but that doesnt stop
me from feeling this]

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Guys playing the field - when to stop?

[ L O N G    P O S T.   B E    V E R Y   W A R N E D ]

Somewhere in my occasionally illustrious, eventful and a few littered-with-regretful-actions past, for a short
period of time, I lived a life totally different from the one I am living now.

I had an active social life, regularly went out, had many friends with members of the opposite gender, blah blah yada yada yada. Its a little bit like you are the source of life and excitement that people
tap into to make themselves feel like their life isn't bland and boring. I'm well aware of that.

(Oooh if only they could see me NOW! the epitome in many ways of bland n boring, thats me now.)


As an aside...

I have a friend who used to be like that, even way much more so. He would regularly be what I'd
call a waterfish - someone whom guys and girls used for their own selfish reasons, like tapping
into his glamour, lifestyle, exciting social life, reputation, image, etc. He wound up spending lots and lots of
money, his health was affected, and he got too carried away I think. When I (regularly) cautioned him to slow
down, take it easy, and not to suffer the indignity of being used/manipulated/treated as a bank account by the
many girls whom he regularly dated/slept with, his logic was as follows:

- I want this lifestlye
- I want something from them
- I acknowledge the price of this thing I want, and am willing n can afford to pay it
- I KNOW their opinion of me...but it doesnt matter because as long as I get what I want at the end of the day,
opinions of others' have no impact on me.
- I will only do this for a while, while I am young

I have to say...ethics and scruples aside.. it made sense to me. For example. He wanted to get the smart ass types to do his homework for him, let him copy homework or whatever, so he'd let them occasionally tap into his
social circle, bring them clubbing etc. So he didnt mind being used for his social connections, didnt mind others
trying to use their association with him to boost their social profile/image, because that ultimately had no
tangible effect on him - regardless of all that, as long as his grades were maintained (by them), he was cool. 
Another example. He wants to experience the lifestlye of going out with several different girls, having diff girls
accompany him regularly, and sleeping with them. If this meant buying em expensive gifts, chaffeuring them ard
etc, and being viewed as easy meat, he didnt care, because as long as he got his objectives, he was cool. While
the girls might have viewed him as the dumb one, in his mind, he got what he wanted at a price he easily could and was much more than willing to afford, so, it was win win and no1 lost, definitely not him.

And after a few years of this...he really did tone it down dramatically and is now working super hard and doing v
well for himself career wise


OK back to me.

Eventually, after this went on long enough, I decided to give up this life, and start a hermit like life of
working hard, taking more care of my health, saving more money, and spending my limited time resource only with people I like, respect, love and who felt likewise for me.

It wasn't maturity. Like my friend, I had weighed everything, and made that calculated decision to go ahead but give myself a short period of time to act silly and after that, be sensible again. $$$ shouldnt be blown. Time 
must not be wasted on the undeserving. Etc.

This is especially true for going on dates with a revolving door of girls. Hence I spend time with only the same
few girls who I respect and like.

I reckon me and my friend took the right approach - we acted immature and silly whilst young when the stakes were low, and once we'd done enough, we got out and became good ol boring grownups. By now you know what you
want and dont want and you are no longer easily tempted.

The problem is when you start off being all sensible prudish and mature and trying to do the right thing when you
aren't ready and then later on regretting and THEN wanting to change things. Coz at our age (24), as a guy, I
reckon I've got much more to lose now if I act recklessly and carelessly.

And this is precisely what is happening with a friend of mine. Happily attached to a girl for 3 years, he suddenly probably got cold feet, and, aware of his good looks and constant popularity with girls, he started to be conscious
of the draw he had on girls, and the temptations this afforded him with attractive girls proved to expose his
lack of maturity, strength in self control and readiness to be committed. So he started to go out with all these girls. And naturally they would only show their best sides right? And so he started to do the idiotic thing of comparing them to his current nice but not perfect (come on la who is?) gf. How can any girl constantly maintain perfection in a rship? It is much easier during occasional dates right? So my clever friend went thru all that, and then BROKE UP with that gf, who still remained loving, to her credit (and the validation of Jo's comment that
females are emotional, not rational). Sadly, his reasons for breaking up sounded
to me to be very spurious, dubious and trivial and maybe a tad contrived.

So...he broke up, went out, got into the whole dating scene, loved it, fell hard for this 1 girl, and then got spurned.

friend: I'm devastated alex. i really am. i had such high hopes. i really thought we were going to make it.
me: well..fact is, she made it clear, theres no hope. so, now u know how [his ex gf's name] felt.
friend: yea..
me: [ex gf's name] still cares n loves u and treats u well right? u said so urself what. hey dude..just go back to her 
la. u dont have to tell her what happened after u broke up, u'd hurt her like hell...just.. admit u made a mistake,
apologise n go back to her man. she is damn good for you.
friend: yea..problem is i don't love her. I love [this other one who spurned him]
me: huh? why? [ex gf] has done soo much more for u, sacrificed for u...u shud choose HER!
friend: cannot..coz theres no challenge to it...

ahh. really dont understand.. whats so great about this challenge challenge business?! u like u like la! u dun like u
dun like la! y must challen here challen there?!

my friend actually started out the MOST noble among us all. he would go clubbing with us and when chicks hit on
him, he gave them his gf's number. he never looked or talked to other girls. he would reprimand us for our unholy
ways. he only came out when it was all-guys events. all that sort of stuff. its not natural la. who doesnt look at
hot girls!?? i proudly admit i do (and then get caught for it damn). 

so now my friend the other day held this conversation with me.

- - -

4/2/2007 12:27:58 AM FRIEND to alex: i think i need to set some stuff on myself for women
4/2/2007 12:28:05 AM alex to FRIEND: wat kind of stuff man
4/2/2007 12:28:37 AM FRIEND to alex: think i need to change my perspective on women
4/2/2007 12:28:43 AM FRIEND to alex: or rather change my taste onwomen
4/2/2007 12:29:26 AM FRIEND to alex: i like girls that are very beautiful and hot
4/2/2007 12:29:49 AM FRIEND to alex: whom are normally pretty self absorbed
4/2/2007 12:30:25 AM FRIEND to alex: and whislt some of them like me, they are normally just in it for themselves
4/2/2007 12:30:36 AM alex to FRIEND: well done congrats! ur heading in the right direction my friend
4/2/2007 12:30:40 AM alex to FRIEND: ur hitting the nails all on the head.
4/2/2007 12:32:07 AM FRIEND to alex: yeah i guess
4/2/2007 12:32:20 AM FRIEND to alex: and i think that in maybe the lsat couple of months, ive gotten a bit full of myself in the womens department
4/2/2007 12:32:48 AM FRIEND to alex ever since breaking up with [ex gf], i've been happily getting to know more and more girls and flirting with them murderously
4/2/2007 12:33:43 AM alex to FRIEND: hahaha
4/2/2007 12:33:44 AM alex to FRIEND: then?
4/2/2007 12:34:11 AM FRIEND to alex: well i think its all very superficial
4/2/2007 12:34:21 AM FRIEND to alex: no meaning
4/2/2007 12:34:44 AM FRIEND to alex: i feel i play the part of the stupid playboy who will eventually end up alone and lonely
4/2/2007 12:35:00 AM FRIEND to alex: so i think its time to change perspective and preference

- - -

First off, I am very happy for him that he finally realized this, all this stuff that some among us figured out long ago, especially the end up alone n lonely part. He is smarter from it. What he intends to do I am not sure but at least he has learnt something.

I wish him best of luck and hope good stuff happens to him and the ex gf gets a better guy she deserves.

However this reminds me of a point.

Remember the friend up there earlier who womanized a lot? He has 1 principle that he stuck to religiously. When
he identified a girl he wants to mess with, he alwiz makes sure she is also in it for the transitory nature of things
and she understands where he is coming from, i.e., no commitments. Only when both parties walk into such
liaisons and affairs (while physically cheating on their bf/gf) clearly knowing this is a hit n run kinda thing, then
no one gets hurt. It is when people are selfish enough not to care about this, that people get hurt.

Hybrid cars + Texas

[Inspired by Scott Adam's latest post]

Man can put men on the moon.
We can build spacecraft that are engineered so precisely that they can fly off to space and back again.
We can make trains that run up to 580 kph.
We can build Concordes.
We can build skyscrapers that are earthquake proof.
We can make solar powered office buildings.
We can design elaborate gas/water/power distributions systems.

Yet we cannot design a good, fuel efficient, maybe solar powered, decent looking car that is aesthetically pleasing, has sound engineering principles, and thus can be commercially feasible?

Why the hell not?

Not sure what your views are on this.

There are 3 reasons why I hypothesize this isn't happening.

(a) Not technically good enough to design such a car
(b) Not commercially viable for the car companies
(c) Someone stands to make a loss

Simple Explanations

Why is it not (a)?

Well if we can bring to reality the above mentioned phenomena, there is absolutely no explanation why we cannot build just such a car. We can design F1 cars, powerful trucks, tractors that can climb steep hills, vehicles that break the sound barrier, trains as fast as small propeller powered planes, etc. So I just won't buy the excuse of technically
insufficiently sound engineers.

Why is it not (b)?

It seems to me that the world is increasingly going green, becoming more environmentally conscious. Being environment friendly is the next big thing and if car companies can recognize this, the first mover concept will surely bring huge rewards. Sydney is going to turn off all their lights as a sign of environmental support. My company is increasingly resorting to more environmentally conscious energy sources. As far as I am concerned, the market is there; if someone out there can produce a car that looks like any normal car, does not sacrifice performance, is affordable (all of which do not seem impossible given our current technology), the fact that this car is environmentally friendly will definitely give it the edge. should be (c) ?

Seems like it. Think about it. Who stands to lose from fuel efficient cars? Big greedy oil companies, thats who.
I would suspect that the oil companies probably pay unimaginably large sums of money to automotive companies not to mass produce or commit too much R&D on such cars. If all cars can run at 50% less fuel, thats a 50% revenue reduction for these oil companies! So I reckon, at the end of the day, it again comes down to greed, the greenback, and how big business continues to serve their shareholders first and foremost.

Monday, April 02, 2007

Spooky forest

I only dare to type this now in broad daylight.

Yesterday evening, a bunch of us went for a mildly challenging walk up and about a forest/hill.

Nothing wrong with that. Except that we started late, and very soon we found ourselves at a decisional crossroads.

1) We were 25 minutes from the entry point.
2) It was 7 plus and getting dark - fast.
3) Should we turn back, or forge ahead in search of the suspension bridge?

No decision was forthcoming from the group. So I decided to scout ahead and see if I could recce a bit to see how
far away the bridge was. If it was a significant distance ahead, then no. If not too far, then we could push for it. I was constantly thinking of the time required to travel back to our start point, and since we were ill equipped, I was extremely reluctant to run around in darkness, in a forest. After sprinting non stop (or as fast as possible) I came
to and recognized a point in the forest that approximately I remembered from my prev one and only time here to
be about 10 minutes from the bridge.  Deciding that it was already twilight and rapidly getting darker and hence would be wiser to turn back and rejoin the group and get us all to turn around instead of forging ahead to the
bridge, I sprinted back but because it was dark, my imagination took hold and I imagined I was an elf of
Raymond E Feist's Magician's ilk, and sped through the forest (I would like to say fleet footed and swiftly but alas!) as if the Dark Elves were 
after me. After running in this highly fashionable manner for a while, my stupidly imaginative brain imagined a different sort of scenario.

I've heard of people getting lost in forests... getting misled...taking wrong paths...spirits of the forest messing with routes and one's mind..and how people would be lost for days when in fact they were like moving in circles unbeknownst to themselves and were just a short distance away from some familar point. So I became a wee bit scared heh.

It was dark. I was alone. There were foresty and unrecognisable sounds. Twigs were breaking. My mind was running wild. Thus was my state when I saw Kel, standing in front of me suddenly as I turned a corner. My first thought was ok, back with the group! About 2 seconds later I was like.. ok, is this really Kel? Or some spirit creature taking her fantastically beautiful form and messing with me?

Damn! Too many fantasy books interspersed with old wives tales!

This was scary. Kel was wearing white. So was this Kel. If this Kel wasn't, I'm not sure what I'd do. 

So I was wary and kept quiet. Then I saw V n Jo behind Kel, a little bit. The rest of the entourage. Well, this disspelled somewhat the rising voice in me, but I was still wary. Because of the simple fact that from my memory, I thought I had left them a little further away, not at THIS point of the trail. And I had asked em to stay put. So,
I fearfully (a bit) kept quiet, and the 4 of us turned around and walked. My mind feverishly attempted to recognize the trail, make sure this was the right one, I had passed THIS branch..THIS tree...etc etc...didn't want to be led on some lost route to be some sacrificial lamb in some ancient Sino-Druid ceremony. I also kept an eye out on the others, just to see if any of em glided, sprouted excessive hair on the ears, etc etc. Anything extraordinary. And
kept an ear out for my colleagues' voices far away calling for me (since I would by then be gone long) but I also suspected I wouldnt be able to hear them or they me if I really was being misled.


Maybe I was their long lost fairy king.

Contemplated calling Vic's mobile. But the idea that I'd get Vic on the other line, but the Vic in front of me kept walking and isn't even talking on his mobile freaked me out like shit.

So I decided to artifically call for a break. Though I had sprinted for like 15 minutes or whatever, I was not in the least tired but I needed to let my mind think a bit. That was when Vic walked over to me, as I was "resting".

And then he started talking.

I kept quiet.

And he talked about KK and stuff we did there.

And that was a great relief because this is stuff that only the real Vic would know.

Phewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!! All's well that ends well, much ado about nothing, indeed!!!

[sorry for the extremely boring buildup and anticlimatic conclusion. i vote for the anticlimatic relief filled conclusion anyday]

at any rate my experience, interesting to me, maybe trivial to others, was much scarier than the ghost movie I watched the other night. The horror element of the movie pales drastically in comparison. No cold sweat whatsoever. Basically it spawned a new element, a new genre - the Asian Japanese horcom. Horror comedy. The show started off promising. Then...hahaha.. it was hoots and laughter all the way. I don't want to throw in spoilers but I reckon the 10 bucks was well worth it. It wasnt scary. But it was SUCH a bad movie, SO full of stupid things (and the best part is I don't think the funny stuff was intentional at all. The producers actually thought this might work, might scare the living daylights out of the audience hahaha) that it was extremely entertaining to watch.
Everyone in the cinema was laughing their butts off..seriously, as a serious producer of a horror movie, I think its
the last reaction you'd want your audience to have. was an unbelievably bad movie, but you should watch it anyway because its so fucking entertaining and hilarious hahaha gawd. The woman in front of me laughed so loud and gregariously that her ample bosom was heaving spectacularly throughout the show and I wasnt sure if I was amused by the movie or her ample bosom bouncing gregariously with her heaving guffaws, amazing me with their buoyancy and bounce factor. She laughed until she actually gurgled quite a number of times. And the woman behind me watched the entire thing while wearing sunglasses. Hahaha! I can't take it anymore...halfway through the show, everything, even the people sitting around me, started to make me laugh. What a hoot! Go watch it.  It's called 'The Loft', though I reckon it should be 'The Laugh'. Haha..!

Diana Krall...holds me in thrall

Ahh...nothing like some good strong doses of Diana Krall...

After a couple of hours of extreme mood swings from anger to embarassment to contemplative to sad to
inspired, I can
now finally peace with everyone and everything..hello Sin...ahh...the magic of this woman...
can listen to her forever and ever.

How can people not love her?


Transports me to faraway places...places in my imagination, places in my memories, places in the future, places I have never been before but will go to.

She makes me feel life is wunnerful again. And ultimately, thats what music is all about.

And, I like her first name. Haha...

"Autumn leaves..I Miss you so...When I look in your eyes...Let's fall in love...And I love him..The look of love..
That old feeling..PS I love you..."

Now thats romance for you. Please move aside, pretenders.

Where is some good old fashioned romance, love, that tingling sensation, when you want it? Like Sinatra's Strangers In the night...those fleeting moments, exchanged glances, glimpses filled with promise..

Like some warm loving nourishing chicken soup for the romantic soul, Krall wraps herself around you, soothes you, lies you down, takes off your clothes, wraps you in nice flannel pyjamas, offers you warm chocolate drinks with marshmallows, and tucks you into bed with nice things swirling around you as you fall asleep.

Some people say one should not live in the past. I say one should live in whatsoever period of one's life that brings joy to one. If the present gives me joy, I shall thus indulge so. If the future fills me with hope and happiness, I shall thus dream so. If the past gills me with love, sadness, then it is my right. The past should be like a photo album or good book - don't throw it out. Leave it lying around, don't be obssessed by it. Live for now, plan for the future, but in moments of solitary silence, when you feel you are all alone in this world ultimately, when friends fade, when old friends are busy, new friends deem you unworthy, and even family are occupied, you can revisit that album or book to reexperience the emotions of past moments.

That is one of my ultimate photography aims - to be able to capture photos that can capture the essence of the moment, the exact emotion of my mood at that point in time of the photo taking, so I will never forget it, so that when I revisit that photo, I am instantly transported back there again, and re-feel what I felt.

Theres a certain hollowness and emptiness to life nowadays. People nowadays are so self centred. I reckon I'd either have to choose bachelorhood or lower my standards. Lowering my not-very-high standards is out of the question, so I guess bachelorhood would be the way to go. In that case, on such a sobering note, I shall go pour myself a glass of Jack Daniels and continue to sit here in this dimly lit room, sipping me whisky + coke whilst letting Krall wash over me.

Sunday, April 01, 2007


Wow. Probably not a good time to be posting, given my current annoyed, irritated, impatient, sarcastic and
touchy state of mind.

I've had it with people who feel they are superior, and are a notch above others in whatever sense, and feel
that they are entitled to flaunt this superiority. Fine, you might be above others in whatever sense, so, wow,
good for you. But you don't have to necessarily flaunt it at others' expense. The moment you decide to do so, you've dropped way down in my books pal. You call yourself a friend of someone, but just because you might be mentally faster than that someone gives you absolutely no prerogative whatsoever to make jokes or comments
and then share laughter with someone else who is 'in the know' on these 'insider jokes and comments', and laugh
at the befuddledness of this friend.

Spanks of immaturity, selfishness and a total disregard for the friend's feelings. I don't think a friend would necessarily take much joy in making you feel silly in front of others for a hoot.

And to think, this friend had previously told me how he felt that they are really close and how they are like brothers. And of his disappointment because inspite of 
helping him 
with his work, sharing his stuff with him, etc etc, when the accolades come in, that friend takes it
all instead of distributing credit where credit is due. Among other things.

Speaks volumes about one's character, regardless of intelligence, dunnit? No wonder they can shine in this particular department.

Well thats just me being super touchy, sensitive and probably there is a misunderstanding somewhere but hey, if
thats the vibe you give, thats the vibe you give, and if you reckon you don't give a flying f**k, then don't, coz neither do I.

Its amazing, the amount of adulation bestowed upon some people. There are actively good people, actively couldnt give a flying f**k people, 
and actively good people. Of 
course actively bad people should be treated as such, but in this world, as a wise man once said,
bad things happen not because of the bad people (which are balanced out by the good people), but by the couldnt'careless only-give-a-shit about myself types standing around allowing shit to happen.

Ah well.

And why do people feel compelled to talk shop all the time? For geez's sake, give it a rest, ok. Somehow, when people screw up, they alwiz feel that their particular instance is like the worst of all time and get emotional about it. And when they meet friends, all they talk about is work. Like, going for dinner? Meeting a friend (well, someone
you CALL a friend, though you met from work) there? The moment you both sit down, theres a compulsion to open
the conversation with work...dotting it here and there with bits of grandiose language about what you did and are doing. As if there is nothing else you have in common. That right there speaks volumes.

Human civilization at the end of it all inspite of what evolution and time and whatnot has tried to artificially impose on us, is still ultimately at the end of the day when all is said and done, a very base and primal society. The strong take from the weak. Might is right. The intelligent take from the not so intelligent. Someone has to stand up for those who who are in some way being trampled upon. But no1 does, no1 ever sticks their neck out so.

It is this primalness that has determined excellence and survival. Unfortunately,human society and the world values and reward intelligence + luck, not really character. Which is correct, and arguable to a certain extent, but it is unfortunate that character is 
shoved on the backburner and just paid lip service to. I reckon character is a stronger and more deserving virtue.

Intelligence + luck is something you do not earn nor deserve. You were lucky enough to be born with it. It could have happened to anyone, but in this instance, to you. Character, you weren't born with it. That is the one thing
that one can truly truly say is the product of their own creation, someone totally within their control. The attainment
of good strong character is thus much more worthy of recognition.

It is sad indeed that the one friend I truly have made at work, the one person whom I respect and like most, has
decided to carry on in greener pastures. I miss his simple ways and our simple, silly, non political conversations and jokes. Most colleagues now cease to exist as fellow humans to a certain degree, and
are just hollow empty money sluts.