Teacher's Day

Dear Jeanz,

Well, how long has it been? More than 10 years, our friendship. Spanning the day we knew each other as little small people (face it, we are both rather small) in high school, through the time when we graduated from high school together, graduated from Trinity together, and all those shared Melb experiences...

And now, on your graduation day, let me wish you many many congratulations! After all those years of study, trduging around mother-henning your little kids, congratulations on your graduation! As you continue down this path you have chosen to embark on, may you experience much success and happiness.

And never forget that teaching is noble, don't forget why in the first place you did it, and you have a very important role to play in forming the foundation of kids' characters.

ps: Please find the cutest chubby boy, and pinch his cheeks and bite his arm for me!

Somewhere in between

* Really bad poem coming up, written as a break from the inexplicable joys of work.

Y'day I said goodbye to my friend
And JBeannie is her blessed name
Friends since we were around ten
Though we're no longer the same

She appeared unexpectedly in my life
Smart, prefect and soft spoken
Soon, we hope, she'll be our Jinn's wife
Hence sorry guys, she's taken

She's been mostly great, sometimes wise
But always a comforting voice
Though sometimes it is very nice
To make her lose her poise

When I erred, shocked and dismayed her
I could see the disappointment too
But I WILL get get my act together
Sure as 1 plus 1 is two

Through times of goodness and times of trouble
She is there by my side
She sees good in me, what, I sometimes marvel
Though I'm sure she's right!

And though I do not say it much
But my heart you've truly touched
So here JBeannie is my silly dumb way
To say what I've got to say!

- - - -

Friends are a great and important thing in one's life. Sometimes their opinions are right, sometimes wrong, sometimes they see what we cannot see, sometimes they tell what we cannot face. But it is always a source of joy and comfort to know that one has real friends.

(Gosh, it is tricky to type in normal prose after thinking poetically and lyrically for the last 15 mins).

She did not mince her words. We've known each other for 10 years or more, and through it all, she has been a supportive friend who has always had only praise for me, mixed in with some occasional brickbats. And when I erred, and dismayed her and in all likelihood disappointed her, I could expect no less than her withdrawal of friendship. But she was a source of strength and joy and comfort and the effect she and her words in private had on me cannot be underestimated.

Of course, she condemned what happened as well and in no way did she side with me. But after knowing me for so long, seeing me make such a mistake, so uncharacteristic of me to behave so, so unbelievable of it, she was able to realize that I really had made a terrible mistake which was killing me inside, and could remain supportive, though it was not her who had to do the forgiving, of course.

It is always not easy to express how grateful you are and how much you appreciate the friendship of someone from the opposite gender. But J and I go way back, so I guess it is much easier to be mushy about these things. It's also another consideration that she is going out with one of my best friends Jinn, and hence we know this is strictly platonic. But just because I act the way I do around others does not mean I don't acknowedge, appreciate and am grateful for her presence.

They were there

When things are less than perfect (which is 100% of the time), or not exactly ideal (more realistic here), I usually handle it alone. I don't exactly run off and talk to my friends about every little thing in my life, nor do I need to 'talk to someone' get it off my chest. Its a source of pride that I can be strong and self reliant. I deal with and settle and confront my issues myself head on. (some people would go so THATS y ur so messed up!).

But during the recent trip to Melb, was engulfed and overwhelmed with various emos. Its not stuff that is wayyy over my head or makes me emotionally weak or needy, and nothing I haven't faced before. I could definitely have handled it alone, but, I tried to close my eyes and lean back into my friends because I've been doing this solo thing so long that I reckoned its high time I appreciated my friends and treat them as friends. And what better way then to lean on them and let them know I am allowing myself to lean on them? Figuratively, I closed my eyes and leaned backwards on them. I expected to be caught.

Not only was I caught, I was wrapped around with concern and love from all sides, propped back up, had my head patted, had myself reassured, and was set right and sent on my way again. During my time of slight need, Darren, Jeannie, Jinn, popped up and stood up to be counted. You guys know wat you did for me.

Darrens powerful smses did wonders, Jinns reassuring presence and words were magic, and Jeannie's words, such as the following, were very uplifting:

we love you too, alex. take care. be good. don't do anything we wouldn't. stay true to yourself my dear, dear friend. it was great seeing you, truly truly truly. and listening to you talk, share memories. it was like nothing had ever changed, all those many years ago when we were still young and impressionable. don't worry that you've done wrong. we all have. you are one of the most blindingly honest people i know. and even after everything you've told me, i still think of you the same way. hope kl is treating you well!

When your friends do things like that, its very touching. Truly, I feel blessed and whatever else might not be going my way, at least, I know I have friends like this. I want to make sure that I am also the type of friend that people will lean on and know I will catch them and more, and that in their times of need, I will be right there.

Kenny's birthday

As I continue moving through the journey of life, and walk through the twisting turning path that is my life, and encounter various experiences, I find that more and more, as I am exposed to newer things, the more I cling on to and want to wallow in older more familiar things.

Does that make sense? Maybe the root cause is wrongly identified or maybe my solution is not that. It’s just that maybe I have come full circle. I find that increasingly, I love to, and enjoy, and want to spend time with my scholar friends. And my scholars are an all male fraternity. It sounds gay and weird, but it’s true.

Very happy to meet up for breakfasts on weekends, banana leaf lunches on weekends, coffee shop lunches during weekdays, and we even like hanging out together just a bunch of guys during weekend nights.

And I realized it’s the same with them! We are all feeling it.

Which led me to wonder, why?

After some slight discussions, we concluded that:

- This is a kind of drawback away from society and life and the pressures, demands, responsibilities that come with being grown up. With each other, we have grown up together since we were kids with squeaky voices and smooth crotches, and we want to go back to and recapture those feelings of carefree-ness.

- Around each other, we can revert back to type, being who we really are and what makes us comfortable. We can burp and stuff our faces until exploding, sit back and rub our bellies, and eat until fingers and face messy. We can tell our same corny jokes. We are just totally comfortable and at ease with all guards let down, no need to be political, to be correct, be this or that or whatever, no need to portray certain impressions, watch our behaviour, push a certain agenda.

- We are sick of other people and their crappy ways, and this extends to girls. Just sick of girls, and all that comes with them. A night of uncomplicated fun with each other is the best. And it comes cheap.

Tonight! Kenny’s birthday celebrations!

Cruel to be kind

Fact #1: Most people are shallow to a certain extent.
Fact #2: Looks do matter.
Fact #3: We can't change the above.

Hence, if a friend (who is wonderful in most respects) bemoans why he/she cannot attract a potential bf/gf, and you know that it is due to a physical thing that is WITHIN THEIR CONTROL TO CHANGE AND IMPROVE, what do you do?

(a) Be kind, don't risk hurting them, don't tell them, and continue to see them unsuccessful in these matters and constantly get hurt n deluded and self confidence no good n vulnerable to the scumbags of this earth of which trust me there are many, most of whom have no qualms when it comes to manipulating girls for their own selfish ends.

(b) Tell them in the most gentle way possible that out of love n friendship you dont mind risking incurring their wrath (hope they are mature enough to understand) that their current physical attributes got some things that are not so good but wait these r controllable things so TAKE ACTION (its not the drastic kind like go crash diet go marie france go anorexic) as it will improve your health, energy and vitality anyway. I mean its pointless to be kind n smile n watch them suffer...thats not what being a friend means. Being a friend means you gotta have enough balls to stand up n say lookie here mate, the world isnt perfect, you also dont want a fat ugly smelly dig nose boyfriend right? Similar guys also want a girl who is XXX and hence, just put in a LITTLE bit of effort. Goes a long way. It doesnt mean you're conforming or changing urself.

I hope I'm doing the right thing.

T'was a good wkend!

[Still at work and its 11pm! Work's such a bitch sometimes. But you know what? I'm still filled with warm fuzzy feelings left over from my wkend, and shan't let this spoil my mood! So...blog away I go.]

[Warning: Post filled with pics of my wkend getaway to PD. Too bad KY couldnt join us.]

"Why do all good things come to an end.."

We went to PD...and trekked up a hill to... see a lighthouse!I'm the idiot in the middle row on the right side sticking his leg out above that smiling girl in blue.

T'was a wonderful wkend, a reunion of sorts. See, back in Melb, I had this bunch of super tight close knit friends, and there were times when we loved each other so so much that we had to see each other like everyday. Like literally every moment. We'd meet up, spend the evening and night together, have sleepovers, wake up groggy next morning, head home, and we'd meet again for lunch and hang out. We had the most elaborate and wonderful birthday celebrations for each other. We played the silliest games which were the most fun, and did all sorts of antics n stuff together. We even…dragged.

Thats me with the floppy hair sitting right at the back on the left, with the stupid grin.

Unfortunately, commitments, distance, relationships, and just the drag of the stuff we have to do nowadays have come between us physically, so we really don’t meet up much anymore. Of course, even though I don’t see them often, I’d like to think that our bonds are almost as tight as they were once, coz I definitely still love and appreciate them. When we do meet up, we pick up right where we left off, almost as if there was no interruption.

Though I don’t show it and express it, I really do care for these people in my own thwarted ways. So when a quite impromptu trip to the beach was planned…I jumped in. I didn't plan it, didn't know much about it, didnt even pack for it...just..remember the date, time, venue, and I zoooomed down. And what a wkend it turned out to be! And I'm happy also coz I got to wear my beach gear and Singha shirt.


And at the end, my best friend who was there mentioned to me he could see how happy I was. And after that, it just made me realize…I’m so lucky, to have such great friends. I probably don’t deserve it. But I do appreciate and treasure them, and after reading another friend’s recent blog post about how the proximity you are to your friends influence your happiness [can't agree more J], I feel grateful that wherever I’ve been, I’ve never wanted for friends. Of course, the trip came to an end all too soon...but it reawakened in me how much I treasure and appreciate having this bunch of people, who have in their own ways, made me better, made me worse, but most of all, helped shaped me to be me. The trip might have ended...but the reawakened ties won't.

They say a picture tells a thousand words.

Well this picture needs some serious cropping!

You are 2X today!

[My prev post - still cant stop playing in my head!]

For once, I shall not talk about myself.

This post is about a friend.

Who has selflessly accompanied me on my late night sojournes... at 3am, 4am, 5am. Who entertains my zillion and 1 irritating questions about anything and everything. Who has steadfastedly not run away (most of the time) when I am acting up or just not acting my age. Who has not let me down when I have requested her help and endured my pinches, lame jokes, passive smoke, & taught me some stuff about life and myself in return.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY J!!!

Drift you might, but never will you be cast adrift. Happy bumming, drifting and enjoying life!

Guys playing the field - when to stop?

[ L O N G    P O S T.   B E    V E R Y   W A R N E D ]

Somewhere in my occasionally illustrious, eventful and a few littered-with-regretful-actions past, for a short
period of time, I lived a life totally different from the one I am living now.

I had an active social life, regularly went out, had many friends with members of the opposite gender, blah blah yada yada yada. Its a little bit like you are the source of life and excitement that people
tap into to make themselves feel like their life isn't bland and boring. I'm well aware of that.

(Oooh if only they could see me NOW! the epitome in many ways of bland n boring, thats me now.)

-----

As an aside...

I have a friend who used to be like that, even way much more so. He would regularly be what I'd
call a waterfish - someone whom guys and girls used for their own selfish reasons, like tapping
into his glamour, lifestyle, exciting social life, reputation, image, etc. He wound up spending lots and lots of
money, his health was affected, and he got too carried away I think. When I (regularly) cautioned him to slow
down, take it easy, and not to suffer the indignity of being used/manipulated/treated as a bank account by the
many girls whom he regularly dated/slept with, his logic was as follows:

- I want this lifestlye
- I want something from them
- I acknowledge the price of this thing I want, and am willing n can afford to pay it
- I KNOW their opinion of me...but it doesnt matter because as long as I get what I want at the end of the day,
opinions of others' have no impact on me.
- I will only do this for a while, while I am young

I have to say...ethics and scruples aside.. it made sense to me. For example. He wanted to get the smart ass types to do his homework for him, let him copy homework or whatever, so he'd let them occasionally tap into his
social circle, bring them clubbing etc. So he didnt mind being used for his social connections, didnt mind others
trying to use their association with him to boost their social profile/image, because that ultimately had no
tangible effect on him - regardless of all that, as long as his grades were maintained (by them), he was cool. 
Another example. He wants to experience the lifestlye of going out with several different girls, having diff girls
accompany him regularly, and sleeping with them. If this meant buying em expensive gifts, chaffeuring them ard
etc, and being viewed as easy meat, he didnt care, because as long as he got his objectives, he was cool. While
the girls might have viewed him as the dumb one, in his mind, he got what he wanted at a price he easily could and was much more than willing to afford, so, it was win win and no1 lost, definitely not him.

And after a few years of this...he really did tone it down dramatically and is now working super hard and doing v
well for himself career wise.

-----

OK back to me.

Eventually, after this went on long enough, I decided to give up this life, and start a hermit like life of
working hard, taking more care of my health, saving more money, and spending my limited time resource only with people I like, respect, love and who felt likewise for me.

It wasn't maturity. Like my friend, I had weighed everything, and made that calculated decision to go ahead but give myself a short period of time to act silly and after that, be sensible again. $$$ shouldnt be blown. Time 
must not be wasted on the undeserving. Etc.

This is especially true for going on dates with a revolving door of girls. Hence I spend time with only the same
few girls who I respect and like.

I reckon me and my friend took the right approach - we acted immature and silly whilst young when the stakes were low, and once we'd done enough, we got out and became good ol boring grownups. By now you know what you
want and dont want and you are no longer easily tempted.

The problem is when you start off being all sensible prudish and mature and trying to do the right thing when you
aren't ready and then later on regretting and THEN wanting to change things. Coz at our age (24), as a guy, I
reckon I've got much more to lose now if I act recklessly and carelessly.

And this is precisely what is happening with a friend of mine. Happily attached to a girl for 3 years, he suddenly probably got cold feet, and, aware of his good looks and constant popularity with girls, he started to be conscious
of the draw he had on girls, and the temptations this afforded him with attractive girls proved to expose his
lack of maturity, strength in self control and readiness to be committed. So he started to go out with all these girls. And naturally they would only show their best sides right? And so he started to do the idiotic thing of comparing them to his current nice but not perfect (come on la who is?) gf. How can any girl constantly maintain perfection in a rship? It is much easier during occasional dates right? So my clever friend went thru all that, and then BROKE UP with that gf, who still remained loving, to her credit (and the validation of Jo's comment that
females are emotional, not rational). Sadly, his reasons for breaking up sounded
to me to be very spurious, dubious and trivial and maybe a tad contrived.

So...he broke up, went out, got into the whole dating scene, loved it, fell hard for this 1 girl, and then got spurned.

friend: I'm devastated alex. i really am. i had such high hopes. i really thought we were going to make it.
me: well..fact is, she made it clear, theres no hope. so, now u know how [his ex gf's name] felt.
friend: yea..
me: [ex gf's name] still cares n loves u and treats u well right? u said so urself what. hey dude..just go back to her 
la. u dont have to tell her what happened after u broke up, u'd hurt her like hell...just.. admit u made a mistake,
apologise n go back to her man. she is damn good for you.
friend: yea..problem is i don't love her. I love [this other one who spurned him]
me: huh? why? [ex gf] has done soo much more for u, sacrificed for u...u shud choose HER!
friend: cannot..coz theres no challenge to it...

ahh. really dont understand.. whats so great about this challenge challenge business?! u like u like la! u dun like u
dun like la! y must challen here challen there?!

my friend actually started out the MOST noble among us all. he would go clubbing with us and when chicks hit on
him, he gave them his gf's number. he never looked or talked to other girls. he would reprimand us for our unholy
ways. he only came out when it was all-guys events. all that sort of stuff. its not natural la. who doesnt look at
hot girls!?? i proudly admit i do (and then get caught for it damn). 

so now my friend the other day held this conversation with me.

- - -

4/2/2007 12:27:58 AM FRIEND to alex: i think i need to set some stuff on myself for women
4/2/2007 12:28:05 AM alex to FRIEND: wat kind of stuff man
4/2/2007 12:28:37 AM FRIEND to alex: think i need to change my perspective on women
4/2/2007 12:28:43 AM FRIEND to alex: or rather change my taste onwomen
4/2/2007 12:29:26 AM FRIEND to alex: i like girls that are very beautiful and hot
4/2/2007 12:29:49 AM FRIEND to alex: whom are normally pretty self absorbed
4/2/2007 12:30:25 AM FRIEND to alex: and whislt some of them like me, they are normally just in it for themselves
4/2/2007 12:30:36 AM alex to FRIEND: well done congrats! ur heading in the right direction my friend
4/2/2007 12:30:40 AM alex to FRIEND: ur hitting the nails all on the head.
4/2/2007 12:32:07 AM FRIEND to alex: yeah i guess
4/2/2007 12:32:20 AM FRIEND to alex: and i think that in maybe the lsat couple of months, ive gotten a bit full of myself in the womens department
4/2/2007 12:32:48 AM FRIEND to alex ever since breaking up with [ex gf], i've been happily getting to know more and more girls and flirting with them murderously
4/2/2007 12:33:43 AM alex to FRIEND: hahaha
4/2/2007 12:33:44 AM alex to FRIEND: then?
4/2/2007 12:34:11 AM FRIEND to alex: well i think its all very superficial
4/2/2007 12:34:21 AM FRIEND to alex: no meaning
4/2/2007 12:34:44 AM FRIEND to alex: i feel i play the part of the stupid playboy who will eventually end up alone and lonely
4/2/2007 12:35:00 AM FRIEND to alex: so i think its time to change perspective and preference

- - -

First off, I am very happy for him that he finally realized this, all this stuff that some among us figured out long ago, especially the end up alone n lonely part. He is smarter from it. What he intends to do I am not sure but at least he has learnt something.

I wish him best of luck and hope good stuff happens to him and the ex gf gets a better guy she deserves.

However this reminds me of a point.

Remember the friend up there earlier who womanized a lot? He has 1 principle that he stuck to religiously. When
he identified a girl he wants to mess with, he alwiz makes sure she is also in it for the transitory nature of things
and she understands where he is coming from, i.e., no commitments. Only when both parties walk into such
liaisons and affairs (while physically cheating on their bf/gf) clearly knowing this is a hit n run kinda thing, then
no one gets hurt. It is when people are selfish enough not to care about this, that people get hurt.

I must be a better friend

---

Currently Listening to..Wang Lee Hom - Kiss You Goodbye

---

Do you ever come to a point in your life where you sit back and think about yourself and you realize... HMM...you are starting to take your friends for granted, and you know thats not a good thing, and you want to change?

Yea..that happened to me just now. You see, JH has patiently been a well, as far as guys go, good enough friend. [I don't think I've been a worse friend than him though] Anyway, last night he was like semi breaking down, lost the 'I'm too cool for y'all' persona, and became a little boy again, blubbering about how this girl is driving him nuts/insane/crazy.

Maybe its coz I'm becoming so jaded by all these rships stuff [in a way, BUT I'm still idealistic, I'm still a dreamer at heart. Good things do happen. Maybe not yet. But they WILL] and the details sounded kinda juvenile, that I wasnt as patient, kind, understanding as I used to be/could be. Of course, we listened without interruption etc etc but then we also didnt really sit down focus look at him seriously and hold his gaze..we were eating kuachi, chugging down beer and making jokes while alternating with a generally sympathetic n sombre mood.

Of course, as far as guys go, that could be regarded as a pretty successful outing already - humor, beer, cigarettes, hanging around each other, supper, listening to one of us pour his heart out and feel better after that (no need chicks, we aren't like that =]). And he did SMS us all to thank us and say it really helped and all so I guess it's not so bad. Still, maybe I should have like just looked at him and listened..but the atmosphere we were in made it hard..and weirder still, u know, its been a long while...and guys cannot just sit down look into each other's eyes n hold their hands for support.

2nd incident. T here's this person who recently I regard her as more than a colleague, but as a friend already. And yesterday, after a long day at work, for the sake of my own self amusement and feeling mischievous and bored already want to go home its 8am on a Friday evening, I proceeded to annoy her. As usual. Normally, she is great fun to tease coz she has a great sense of humor but yesterday, apparently she had a really bad day, was PMSing as well, and kena tiu for no good reason at all. I suppose I have been pestering her a lot as well la. So totally insensitive, and not being able to detect any abonormality in her behavior, I think I pissed her off [no time for juvenile pranks]! Luckily she was in a more reconciliatory mood by night, but still, I can't help thinking that good friends should be sensitive enough to each other's moods and be able to read signs/signals that things arent going well with them and know when to prick them and when to not prick them. So...OK...gotta learn to read certain signs n signals better. I know I suck at that.

The Scholars!

---

Frank Sinatra..I've Got you Under My Skin

---

OK this sounds really lame, but the bunch of buddies buddies that I have...theres 9 of us, and its exclusive all male (unless we include Bernie who is a half guy already to us so she can be considered a 0.5), we actually gave ourselves a name - The 9 Scholars.

7 of us...fear not SikSan and Rand..we'll do this again when ur back

Haha don't laugh...well truth to be told, none of us are particularly brainy except for Randy (not his real name) and none of us ever won a scholarship.
But we were inspired by that Stephen Chow movie, The Flirtong Scholar..and the rest is history.


We kinda started in early primary school...and friendships got forged, reinforced, etc all throughout until we more or less hit upon the final current 9 of us in our current state. Its nice, for all of us, to know we belong, to a group that wants us, that we are an integral part of, that we form, and that needs us there in order to be complete. Of course, us being guys, there is only SO MUCH closeness we can bond...(cough, taboo word)...so, being fairly representative of the general population, we have accountants, engineers, IT buggers parading as engineers (hey, thats me!), entrepreneurs, auditors, and even a do it all school administrator who one leg kicks all buckets. And theres our fair share of girl stories...women stories...broken heart stories...things like that. We have our fair share of being heart broken, breaking ppls hearts, acting like jerks, being bitched to, been betrayed, betrayed others, 50% smoke, 50% don't, etc etc. Over the years I have learnt that, guys being guys, we are always not going to be too sensitive towards each others' feelings and stuff...we arent gonna remember everything...we are quite blunt to each other...things like that.


So this year was a kinda faith renewing year, becase ALL of them remembered my birthday (a SIN in the male friends world) and also SMSed me (double SIN). I took them down to Alexis, since only 1 had previously been b4 whereas I've been quite a few times with other ppl and thought good things shared are better. And I was mighty glad when everyone thoroughly enjoyed it. Coz live jazz isn't normally a scholarly thing we do. But the best part was that (and nowdays this is getting really hard to coordinate) everyone who was in KL managed to make it for drinks for it..it's no easy feat I tell u. U have no idea how much wrangling goes on...deals that has to be made, lies to be told, alibis created, jams braved, money spent, work to ignore, sleepiness to keep away, chances for sex neglected...and u have no idea how much this stuff could mean to us. Anyway..so as usual when we got together...we talked for yonks about all kinds of shit under the sun...ppls jobs, career..but, as usual, we would come back to our favourite topics - sex, our bfs/gfs, sex, and, er, well, sex.


Of course, me being totally a good little boy, and being lacking in experience of these matters (happy now RukiReka? BUT you have first preference among those lining up to ahem, assist me in my education in this dept), will refrain from such discussions. So last night's topics involved:

- Mushit's finally losing control and deflowering of his current lover (lover is the most honest description)..yep and we got alll the gory details..yes girls, sometimes we talk about this, just like yall

- FCC's recent trip to a neighbouring country where he did not meet a single hot chiq

- Our resident teppanyaki chef's and East Malaysia scout's recent revelation that *local telecoms giant* has a lot more hot girls than he realized, and how even those normally plain types can be transformed during annual dinner

- Bodyguard lilblur casting away the ropes of being in a rship and is now on the hunt...

- Self proclaimed good boy's 'no i will never cheat on my gf! ever ever! how could i!.....ahh but theres this girl at work, she...'

- And then theres GoodBoy..who walked into Alexis with us, and he hadn't even sat down while we walked to our table and sat, looked around, where is he, and saw him standing there, SAVING INTO HIS PHONE the number of this girl standing in front of him. I mean, thats jus illegal man.. the normal mode is.. u walk in.. u sit down.. u glance ard... spot someone... glance some more... wait a bit... see no bf.. ok.. walk over and say hi... but noooo...this guy gets the number b4 he even sits. Aish..

So yea, last night The Jordan Rivers Band was playing...first time hear, and it was quite a good blend...

..except, as typical of Alexis, towards the end, the performance geared up and it wasn't SO pleasant..but the performers were quite good..

Not a bad night..then I tried to experiment with the camera's settings with Mahadren's guiding me...at least now I know how to adjust the setting to take photos that can capture the original lighting w/o the flash perverting it..


Ahh...so we have reached that stage in our lives...from those rowdy heady days in high school dances, proms, balls, to discos, clubbing, hard core trance, to lounge music, live bands, and now, listening to jazz and actually enjoying and starting to differentiate the wine. Haih..a sure sign of old age.

Flashback...in appreciation

---

Quote of the day: Every Jordan needs a Pippen in life. Not just basketball.

Listening to...Peter Gabriel - I Grieve

---

When we had that Drama exam b4 leaving Trinity? And I came up with that whole idea of you being the comatose brother (sorry! but u did a good job leaking saliva with a stoned faraway look in ur eyes.)? And that idea of killing you off while Peter Gabriel's I Grieve is playing? And when I did kill you off with that pillow and the crowd went wild and clapped? And everyone was still talking about our performance some years later? People kept asking did I use onions to cry. I said yep. But I lied, for dignity reasons. Truth is.I really did tear. And I did that by imagining what life would be if that wasn't just Drama class.

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Trinity College - Autumn, 2000

And then. We had a chat after that, just the 2 of us, just like the ones we used to have. I shan't go into what we said. But its moments like these that make me realize, I'm not ever really ever literally alone alone. Not with friends like these. I'm glad we met when we were.. what, 14, 15? And went to Melb together at 17...and listened to Out Of Africa in ur living room...and broke ur glass playing basketball in ur room..and running from rats in my room..and killing the rat in Cardigan...and comforting me when I had a ghostly experience

...and lying in ur room staring at the ceiling fan spinning slowly with the glow in the dark stars...and suffered/mucked through uni years together...

Home..for 6 years..

and braved Uncle Joe and the haunted Palmerston House...sort of took care of each other.. graduated together...and 10 years on are still friends. Whoever could have envisioned us like this, back when we were making Mrs Sathi jokes in AddMaths? And being disgusted at Mr Loo's stick whole hand into pants to scratch ass with scritch scritch sound. Tassie..

The photography sessions

Fighting against those who sought to steal our home court..

Acting like kids again at Sentosa...

Trying to be grown up when we clearly weren't ready..

- - - -

Here's to the next 10 years.

MahaDren, the Best Friend. Totally.

- - - - -

Buying Porn?

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1 of my favourite jokes...been telling it the last 1 year...the imagery never fails to make me laugh

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Q: Whats the difference between sensual and kinky?







A: Sensual is when you use one chicken feather. Kinky is when you use the whole chicken!

---

I went out on an all-male guys night out last Friday, and after that went to our secret place which we have been frequenting for about 2 years now, but is getting increasingly popular:


for supper. Though their nasi lemak, fried chicken etc are nice as well, we of course ordered their most popular dish:

After that we headed across the road to indulge in another favourite Malaysian past time besides late night mamak stalls - browsing through DVDs. So we browsed through some DVDs.
I chose 2. A few of my other friends chose a couple more. Then we gave the whole stack to the storeman to calculate how much. We figured buying enbloc would create a mini economies of scale and allow us to get the discs for cheaper. So the guy was lifting up each disc from our pile and then putting it into a new pile as he looked through what we had, to tally it up. So he went RM5, RM8, RM10, RM12, RM6 etc..as he lifted through The Devil Wears Prada, The Banquet, Lost, and..

then suddenly he lifted up a porn disc.

I was like err uncle ah this must be a mistake thats not ours hehe u can take it out. then my friend who had been strangely and unnaturally quiet n fidgety all along suddenly piped up in a very malu way eh heh heh uncle mine mine nvm jus count la heh heh and he avoided looking at us. so the uncle continued to count la so i was like hmm wtf?!

then after that the uncle was like ok total RM1xx.

I was like wah uncle here got X # of discs at average RM xx each total how come so much?

then the uncle went through our pile searching for something and took out the porn disc.

"ahh young man, this disc hoh, very expensive one...RM25."

"wat!? wa uncle, y so ex?"

"ahh..heh heh [perverted grin] this one right is category 4 one! very lei hoi. u sure never see b4 this kind.'

then i look for my friend ' eh u still want meh? dowan la brother'

my friend was looking at his shoes n suddenly seemed very interested in the tiling pattern on the floor as he mumbled yes yes wan...

then i was like ok watever man then turned to the uncle n go wah uncle we buy so much give discount wei..

then he held the disc up high high, hekd it at arms length, squinted at it and was like uhh okay la since u all so leng chai i give u RM20!

then i looked ard for my friend right...and he wasnt there.. but i SAW A LOT OF AUNTIE UNCLE N LITTLE KIDS ALL ALTERNATELY OGGLING AT DISC/US.

damn malu ok. so we quickly wrapped it up paid n fled.

first time i was ever involved in buying of porn.

anyway so a few days later we met up again and i asked my friend.

'dude so how was ur super expensive super category 4 extreme porn? paid so much must be damn crazy is it. how is it?'

'wat la #@$#@$@##@ lousy #$##$@ wat the #$#@ kena conned la #$#@ when i play it hoh, all the critical parts all blur not clear wan! all pixelated!'

karma, baby.

Female friends with benefits

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Currently listening to: Phil Collins & Genesis - Wish it would rain down

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Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally Albright: Why not?
Harry Burns: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally Albright: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: You only think you do.
Sally Albright: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry Burns: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: How do you know?
Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally Albright: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally Albright: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?
Harry Burns: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally Albright: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.
Harry Burns: I guess not.
Sally Albright: That's too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York.

>

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Just got back from a quick lunch round the corner with a friend. Another interesting conversation...

My friends of the fairer sex have a common lament. "Why do my guy friends eventually go after me or confess their love? Why can't we be just friends without complicating things? It sucks.. because usually after being rejected, they slink away with tail between their legs, and would you believe it, some even have the cheek to resent me after that! It's not my fault I don't like them that way!"


Dear me. I just want to say 2 things on this beautiful Saturday, sunny shiny morning.

One

There are many guys out there who despite their bravado (sharper girls can see right through this bravado and recognize it for what is is - macho BS) secretly don't have much female friends, much contact with females, females who treat them in a way that is not neutral, with low self esteem, etc etc. There are many girls out there who naturally try to be nice and friendly to everyone. To them, it is a matter of being well brought up and cordial, nothing that they went to the extra mile to do for a guy. Sometimes of course, she values this friendship and is willing to go that extra mile to help someone out. Now, to the abovementioned vulnerable guys, since girls acting in a way that is not neutral and not negative is a rare occurrence, they immediately think:


1. No girl treat me like that b4.
2. But this girl treat me so good.
3. I only treat a girl extra good if I at least sort of want her or don't mind that idea.
4. Meaning this girl sort of wants me or doesn't mind that idea.
5. Meaning I got chance!
6. Meaning no need to fear rejection and ego damage!
7. Meaning I should go for it and give it a shot!
8. And so I will! Then he goes n tries.


Now the poor girl, who was just being cordial friendly and nice to everyone, suddenly receives the shocker. Then she has to gently reject him. And so he continues..

9. OK I've been rejected. That wasn't so pleasant. *rubs massages n soothes ego*
10. Hmm...but I thought she liked me. Based on her behaviour to me.
11. Why she mislead me?!
12. *Resent* [slinks away, and in many cases, fship stops here] So the poor girl, feels a bit upset. Why so unfair wan? Just friends only mah! Just being nice! I never treat him super duper extra good compared to how I treat others! And now I am being blamed and sort of need to tone down? What the heck? Always like this...sheesh.


Ahh...
- - - - - - - -


Ladies and gentlemen...such is the ways of the world, usually, unless you meet a guy sensible enough to recognize when a girl is being nice to everyone, and EXTRA NICE to SOMEONE. And if he had misunderstood and misread the signals, to grow up, absorb, and continue la. What for lose a great friend over your own silly pride and insecurities (which have probably been exacerbated). See, if we only open up our eyes more, theres so much to be gained having friends from both genders!



Having guy friends:

- Someone to eat with, any time of day (KFC? bananaleaf rice? n wouldn't look at you in horror going but darling, thats 1345 calories!)
- Someone to play sports with, any time of day
- If you can't finish your food, he cleans it up gratefully
- Someone to walk you to your car
- Offers a diff perspective on situations
- Can be an idiot and provide lots of laughs
- Quite generous with $ and not too calculative
- Knows how to goes places
- Alcohol on demand
- Use him to meet potential mates
- Can swear to your heart's content and we'd still be proud of you
- Can indulge in ur weird habits like spitting distance contests (yep S, referring to you here)

And having girl friends (from personal experience)

- Someone you can hand write a letter too and not get laughed at and the letter photostated and passed to all ur guy friends for laughs (az your letters were beautiful..I still got them all..those I haven't lost)
- Someone who can go shopping with you and offer opinions
-provided she has good taste (thanks HG!!!)
- Always willing to share food they cooked when I have nothing to eat (CW..u shud b a chef)
- Someone to boost my ego by losing to me in sports (hey HG, u again!)
- Someone to listen to my myriad ramblings n emo stuff (thats most of u, thks)
- Someone to tolerate sudden outbursts of emo without getting the guys all looking at u or weird and then suddenly inching away from you (again, most of you)
- They always remember your birthdays and make it a point to give you a memorable birthday..i've had everything from an expensive guitar, a painting, books, clothes, shoes all the way to handsewn soft toys (the GIS girls in melb..u were the best - really, truly) - They never hesitate to lend you their stuff and are always happy to share recipes with you proudly (ja..ur bulgogi is almost always a roaring success)
- Provide a refreshingly different perspective and opinion (ALL of you)
- Help me realize my weaknesses and make me grow (yep jo, u evil witch but thank you) - Make me laugh at their blurness (esp when they start hair twirling or stare at one spot unblinkingly with a stoning far away look). - Accompanying me to places to enjoy them that I can't go to with guys (KL, AS, W, E..) and not feeling awkward and going on and on with me into the night.

Wow..suddenly feel a dash of emo-ness...and a sudden sense of exteme guilt at not being nicer to them..must not take them for granted.. must not... must not...very grateful and lucky indeed. How to be a better friend to them? Must try.. must try...

Az n JA..10 years n still going strong..(apprpriately blur to retain anonymity)
BC..almost 10 years..from babies to adults
melb would have been lesser w/o you..and those still there..quickly come back!
k...enough pics.

Can guys & girls be 'just friends'?

---

Harry Burns: Would you like to have dinner?... Just friends.
Sally Albright: I thought you didn't believe men and women could be friends.
Harry Burns: When did I say that?
Sally Albright: On the ride to New York.
Harry Burns: No, no, no, I never said that... Yes, that's right, they can't be friends. Unless both of them are involved with other people, then they can... This is an amendment to the earlier rule. If the two people are in relationships, the pressure of possible involvement is lifted... That doesn't work either, because what happens then is, the person you're involved with can't understand why you need to be friends with the person you're just friends with. Like it means something is missing from the relationship and why do you have to go outside to get it? And when you say "No, no, no it's not true, nothing is missing from the relationship," the person you're involved with then accuses you of being secretly attracted to the person you're just friends with, which you probably are. I mean, come on, who the hell are we kidding, let's face it. Which brings us back to the earlier rule before the amendment, which is men and women can't be friends.

---

Can males and females ever be platonic friends? That was an interesting question I found myself pondering last weekend over drinks with some friends (mixed genders). Females with guy friends, do you honestly think that all of them are just friends with you because of your wonderful friendship? And all they want is just to be friends? Nothing else? And guys, all of you just want to be friends with your female friends, and nothing else?
Really?

What if that female friend suddenly gained 20kg, developed a terrible complexion, and various other physically/aesthetically unattractive features? Lets face it, all of us - looks matter.

Its a tough question.

Personally I must admit, guys definitely categorize girls when we first meet them. There is the "Would like to/want to screw", "Great if can screw but cannot also its OK", "Don't mind screwing but definitely not on hit list", "Errr...don't want to screw", and "Hell no! Free also no thanks". Note that in these initial few seconds, the word screw is prominently featured. However, the first few seconds aside, other judgements are made. "Eyer, don't want to know her better, just ignore from now on", "Something not quite right about her, so will just be cordial if paths cross", "Hmm...OK la.. not sure one way or other so if get to know her better also don't mind, if don't also don't mind", "Seems like a nice friendly great intelligent girl...would like to get to know her better", "What an absolute angel! Would love to know her better".

So, all these opinions can be in any combination, and whichever spot I initially categorized her as is not fixed, not locked in, and can be moved around. A girl who progressively displays a great character actually starts to LOOK better, and a girl who progressively displays a SHIT character starts to look shitter. At the end of the day, her character is the 1 overriding determinant, in fact, the ONLY & SOLE determinant for whether or not I want to continue keeping in touch with her. Her looks won't matter if she is a bitch coz then suddenly she seems very disgusting. But if she is great personality wise, her looks won't even register.


I have female friends on the entire spectrum. There are the ones who attract lots of attn from the opposite species, and theres the ones who don't. The ones who beat away suitors who don't get discouraged nontheless. But as far as I am concerned, a friend is a friend because of what kind of friend they are, not how they look. If I have a female friend, it means I enjoy her companionship, I respect her, I like hanging out with her, I think she has a brilliant mind, and I have a great time hanging out with her. And thats about it. I admit, when I was younger, of course looks played a part. But as I grew older, like I said, bitchy girls look real bitchy and intolerable. So looks became more and more irrelevant.

If I wanted to go after someone, I would do it in a way that would not make me get treated as merely her 'friend'. If I allowed someone to treat me as a friend and nothing more, it means that that is exactly the way I want her to treat me because that is exactly how I see her. If I see a girl as not-just-friends material, why the hell would I act in a way that allows her to treat me as merely a friend? That way, I would never get into her "hmm..lets consider him" books, and remain just a friend - exactly not what I want!

I myself have had close friendships with female friends, many of them, while maintaining my own rship on the side. I guess knowing I have my own rship reassures my female friends that I am not out with the intention of getting into their pants, but merely to enjoy their company. Of course, sometimes in the friendly course of conversation, the banter strays into harmless innuendos and jokes which are just for fun.

However, lets explain the general truth out there.

For girls:

My theorem.

1. Don't want anything to do with this guy
2. Will never ever go out with him, and not particularly enamoured to his friendship, but doesnt mind him tagging along. Can tolerate, quite neutral.
3. Quite a nice person, enjoys his presence in a group.
4. Nice person, definitely can be friends.
5. Can be good friends, and wouldn't mind knowing them better.
6. Very nice/interesting person, want to know them better.

It ends there.

But, they have a whole separate criteria for another list. Potential mates.

1. Definitely want this guy! Rich, handsome, nice...wow! (Tries to scheme...)
2. Would definitely not mind going out with this guy to see how he is like...quite good conditions .
[1&2 prerequisites: at least decent levels of niceness, richness and handsomeness]
3. Everything also good enough but $ wise not quite there but looks promising because he has the right attitude and potential for a good career. Attractive.
4. Not quite there yet, either lacking in looks or $, though nice. Well, just in case I never meet a 1,2 or 23 I better hang on to this guy as a backup plan.
5. Wah...need to make drastic improvements to niceness/richness/$ in order to make more impact.
6. Out of radar range, no chance: falls into Friends category again.

For guys:

1. I want to screw you. So I shall go after you directly.
2. I like your character. But I want to screw you. So I shall go after you directly.
3. I want to screw you. But cannot make obvious. So shall first try to become your friend. Then bide my time and wait for chance. If after a time period cannot, then forget it.
4. I like your character. But I want to screw you. But cannot make obvious. So will bide my time and be your friend first. Then remain friends until got opportunity to strike. But this 'waiting period' is very short. After a time, will try to start a relationship - basically 'I LOVE YOU. DO YOU LOVE ME?'. If answer is no, this guy basically lacks confidence and maturity, sticks his tail between his legs, and slinks off, perhaps even silently [& unreasonably] pissed off at girl.
5. Theres more but I'm lazy to type so lets just jump to the last few main types.
6. Never think of you that way but hey if can screw, will screw.
7. I think you have a great character. Would love to be friends with you. Yes you might look good, yes you might not look good but who cares. The laughs and stimulating conversations we have are what makes you so valuable to me.
8. Butt ugly character and person, stay away.

Ahh...ruffled a few feathers huh. If you thought so and so merely wanted to be friends [claims my female friends who swear that they have male friends who just want to be friends], you may be right. But chances are, he has something else on his mind [claims my male friends, who do not have female friends whom they don't want to screw]. Do the maths. But since yours truly does have female friends who he does not intend to try and screw, I think it is only fair to say that this phenomena that girls claim, just might be true - rare, but true.

And this leads to some arguments within relationships. The girl claims that so and so is just a friend, treats her as just a friend, and thus, its OK to go out for drinks with him alone. Even if this guy also fetches her here n there, pays for her drinks etc. The boyfriend can see through the other guy's smokescreen and goes "No way! No guy does anything that does not lead to a possible screwing!". If the girl denies this, she is either REALLY naive n dumb n self deceptive and needs to grow up damn quick (what the hell for the bf want a girl like that?! must be bf cum babysitter,] pretending to be dumb on purpose (the catchall excuse) or she secretly wants it to continue.

So we can't be just friends can we?


Aish...CAN. I think CAN. If we moved beyond the superficial crap you will find a lot of great people out there really. So step beyond those selfish lines 'How come no more nice guys out there, or guys who can be great friends?' [why no rich/nice/handsome guys go after me or cross paths with me] and 'Sigh..no more nice girls out there [sigh..no pretty girl wants me]. Then I am sure, we would meet plenty of people with a lot to offer and be very happy.

I have great female friends whom I have known since...Year 7/8, since high school, and its been 10 years now...yet we are still purely platonic friends. They fall into my category 7 (refer above). Incredible to others, but something to treasure for me. And colleagues who became friends as well. And these female friends might not know it but when I hang around them, I tend to get reminded of my immaturity, flaws or other weaknesses which is great because I can then see the other perspective and improve the kinks in myself. Win-win situation. But if I went after them, and got rejected (most likely, seeing as that I have no tact,skill,looks,money or niceness) confirm I will not have as much fun or learn as much. And I can get solid female advice.

I guess time will tell. If after a few months or a year a person hasn't made a move it is safe to say they aren't gonna make a move.