Tuesday, September 18, 2007

The case for faith...is unnecessary

In my studies of Christianity (ok at this point, please stop for a moment and realize that studying is a very severe overstatement) I have often hit a severe stumbling block that is very common to most people who have undertaken similar endeavours.

That is the alignment and marriage in perfect agreement of logic/reason and faith/God’s word. These 2 are at direct odds. One way I wanted to overcome it was to buy this book written by this famous ex-NYT journalist about how we can overcome this problem of ‘faith’. He wrote some other famous books, e.g. The Case for Christ, The Case for Faith, etc. Lee Strobel is his name.

Then it struck me that the very act of needing to read a book called the case for faith was in itself yet another step of my logical deduction to remove and eliminate my incredulousness at God’s word. The reason why I cannot fully accept is due to my issues with faith, and I need to read a book on faith to have faith? It is kind of hypocritical, that I need a logical way of explaining and removing a logical explanation for a faith based thing. Faith is faith. There should not be a need for a case for faith, for that in itself, removes the fact that it is fbased on faith but rather, one based on a persuasive 'case' for faith.

Simultaneously I came across the concept that God’s word is not something we can filter and choose (old news, yawn). We have to believe, we have to accept, we have to take the Bible, His word, as THE final authority. We take it all or we take none. There are some good quotes on this which I need to dig up and paste here.

Hence, with those 2 concepts, I find my resistance slowly but surely breaking, as He slowly but surely starts to fill more and more of my life. Sure there are still several parts I cannot reconcile myself with, but this is a life long journey.

Another thing is we really need to open up our hearts and minds, and invite Him in. It is true, that when we sincerely seek Him, we shall find. Otherwise, a purely logical and scientific pursuit of a relationship with God as if it was just another human relationship or material acquisition is a sure fire way of not getting a relationship with Him.

I do not yet regard myself as a Christian. But the walls of resistance and the barriers which previously stood strong like an impenetrable fortress are crumbling.

1 strong reason why I do not yet regard myself as a Christian is because I do not yet regard myself as worthy of being one. In my mind, a Christian, to call yourself one, is to claim something which is really holy and pure, and if you are not so, you should not taint God’s name with calling yourself a Christian. If you are not virtuous, engage in activities that goes against the 10 commandments or are not even a good HUMAN being to begin with, you have no right to call yourself His servant and claim to be one of His loyal believers for if you were, you’d try harder to obey the 10 commandments.

The true God of Prosperity

I am a prosperous man!!!

Truly, I am.

What is prosperity? Modern day man has hijacked the word prosperity, and supplicated its original meaning with the modern one of “material & monetary wealth and fortune”.

But after attending a very fantastic and good FGA service (where they brought in this inspiring pastor) last Sunday, I realized, that meaning is not true! The Biblical version, paraphrased, is that true prosperity is when one has, in no particular order of importance:

A) A strong relationship with and a constant awareness of the presence of God
B) A healthy body and strong mind with a good knowledge of self
C) Loving friends and family
D) A wife who you love as much as she loves you
E) A career that is able to provide you with your material needs

And when your career is able to provide you with not just your material needs, but your wants as well, by right you should give away the excess to help the needy, for God’s largesse on you should not be selfishly hoarded for oneself only. He works through you; hence, you are the instrument which He uses to provide money for the needy. However, being human, we are greedy and the man who really only keeps whatever he needs to exist and survive and not a cent more does not exist.

Hence, since I have B,C,D,E, even though I have a weak link with A right now, but because I can feel it strengthening and making me happier in a certain way, and filling me with thoughts and emotions that are good, I can honestly dare say, I am a prosperous man! With these comes true prosperity. Unlike material and monetary wealth which is based on very unstable foundations which can be snatched away in an instant, the above are mostly spiritual and emotional connections in nature, which are not so easily removed, and hence, provide a much more stable foundation to build one’s life upon.

Monday, September 17, 2007


I really dislike rats. I hate all rodent like creatures and absolutely cannot stand them. I have no idea why God created them. First of all they are ugly and gross. Second of all they are filthy and spread disease. Thirdly they bite. 4th they damage furniture and steal food. 5th they are sneaky.

Hence I do not like rats. So when suggested to watch Ratatouille I hesitated for a moment.

However I was very surprised. It was a great show. The animation was fantastic really indescribably brilliant and the story were funny as well. In some ways, I also related to the script and some of the human characters.

Watch it!


It is a big disappointment when people who mean a lot to you behave in a way that makes you disappointed. It could be in any arena.

Perhaps your boyfriend didn’t behave in a way you would have expected or preferred him to behave. Maybe you thought in a given scenario, he would be discerning enough not to be impressed with stuff like that, and you thought he possessed the character not to need to disguise it. That he was mature enough to just be himself. However, it is understandable if he is not, because perhaps he is more socially aware of others’ feelings and prefers to be polite and mask his true feelings rather than risk coming across as crude and uncivilized (like me). He is just being socially polite etc.

Or, perhaps, you made an effort to do something for your scholars (best friends), took a bit of effort to ensure they had a nice night out, when you could easily have chosen to do nothing, and all you keep getting are negative and immature comments. You do not need recognition nor are you looking for it, but at least you want them to appreciate the moment and not be so tunnel vision that they fail to see the big picture and realize what a special moment that was. Instead of focussing on the journey, and the experience of being together undertaking that journey, they just criticized, which is infinitely easier than taking the effort to plan something better.

Or perhaps you always thought the world of someone, and acted (you thought) in ways that reflected that statement, and then you realized that that someone, who although made similar statements, actually behaved differently inside and was judging you in ways you never realized. That while you wholeheartedly trusted someone and invested in the relationship, that that person was holding all sorts of reservations all along. I guess you feel a little silly and naïve.

RM3 is nothing

And so I was at the bank the other day. Outside the bank, on the five foot way, sat a blind man hawking his tissues. You get several small packets for RM3. RM3 only! It is just a very small sum of money. As usual I bought from him. Then I hopped into my car where a friend was waiting, who proceeded to question me on why I bought those tissues. His reasoning is that there are a lot of syndicates going around cheating people, marking up tissue prices, etc. so we should not buy from these cheats.

I understood his argument and even agreed with it somewhat.

However, the way I see it is that here we have a blind man who very easily and understandably could have turned to begging. However, instead of taking the easy and despicable way out, his remaining sense of dignity and pride made him at least offer something in return, trying to eke out a meagre sustenance through honest means. I despise beggars. One should always do something to carve out a life for oneself, and not just beg. It is the ultimate loss of sense of self, of pride, of identity. Hence I always buy from and support such causes. The bottom line is, I rather risk being cheated of my RM3 then to risk the real chance that this man might go hungry.

Would you rather keep RM3 instead and run the risk of a genuinely blind and yet wanting an honest life man to go hungry?


What is terrible, has the potential to wreck relationships, and is green in colour? Jealousy! This is the one thing that all boyfriends must keep in check when it rears its ugly head.

Whenever a company hires new people of gender B, why is there such a strong need for people of gender A to feel fantastically crazed about how hot/cute they look? Why must the FIRST thing they ask be “hot or not?” or “cute or not?”? And then there is this super strong urge to go and want to see.

I don’t act like that. When I hear that there are new people who just came in, I am usually disinterested unless I am in public with a lot of people and everyone is asking, then I will play along. But in private, I won’t be interested. I mean so what if she is hot with great legs? Not like I would want to rape or glue my eyes to her or whatever. And if I had a girlfriend, I even more would be disinterested. It is absolutely of no concern or relevance to me whether she was hot or eye candy or not. It makes absolutely no difference to my life whatsoever. It won't make me happier, give me more money, make me a good person, etc.

What else makes me see green? Well, dressing. I wouldn’t want to be the controlling type of boyfriend, so I would not FORBID my girlfriend wearing particular items. Although the body is the girl’s, but realistically, every guy has a limit on how much flesh he is comfortable with his girlfriend showing. Even worse when the girlfriend’s bosses start dictating what she wears and what she wears happens to be revealing.

OK. Emotions vented, now logic shall resume its reign over me. Not angry anymore. I will buy that age old reason: But I only love you and I come back to you anyway so what does it matter if I ogle at cute guys or if I am ogled at. I’m just ogling, not doing anything. And no one is ogling at me la.


Thursday, September 13, 2007

Not so innocent colleague

I was getting restless and bored at work. So I decided to conduct a little mini informal survey.

I asked some guys (and this is not a small sample size...the qty is about 15 people) have they ever jacked off before while fantasizing about a colleague. These are the results:

- 70% said yes.
- 30% said no.
- 0% said they don't jack off.

Ok, so at least they are smart enough to know not to lie about not jacking off. Now, in general in society, half the people are liars. Hence assuming half the 30% said no actually lied, hence the actual % of those who do jack off to a colleague is about 85%.

OK, assuming you work in a place with 100 people. Assuming 50% are female, so 50 people will be male. 85% of 50 = 43 people. So, there are 50 females, and 43 males. Hence, assuming each male has at least 1 idol, there is a 86% chance that 1 of those 50 females secretly are part of some pervert's fantasies.

So, if you are female, it's time to look around you and do a quick mathematical calculation. If you are good looking, the chances increase exponentially. From my survey, I know which were the more popular idols whose nams kept popping up.

This is pretty cool. So many variants and streams of analysis! Fun! Numbers ratios percentages probabilities and exciting scenarios...ah, a great day at work indeed.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Just do, talk less

Part of being a grown up, of growing up and being an adult, is to be responsible and reliable. This not only means taking responsibility for one’s actions, and being responsible with one’s money. My attempts to be reliable and to be seen as reliable, and to give off the trustworthy impression to people that if they need me for something, they can count on that to be delivered, still can be improved. I am not just talking about work wise. In fact, work related deliverables I don’t really have a reliability issue. As it is, I have the reputation for being the one who delivers.

No, I am focussing more on the non work aspects of my life. If I tell someone I will be there at 8 30, I want to be there by 8 30. If I can’t make it, I should not agree to meeting at 8.30. And if I am held up, I want to quickly let the other person know so that he or she can make any required necessary moves.

I think it is really important that people think that you are reliable, trustworthy and keep to your word. The worst thing is if people have no faith in you. Some of my friends make me feel that way about them, and I really would not want to give that impression about me to others.

I know I’ve been talking about such things. I guess I really need to discipline myself, stop talking (or typing) about it, and really get on with it.

Office politics

It’s all a big game really. All these so-called managers and senior managers and their ilk, really, all they do is to play politics. Been having some ghastly run-ins with them lately and it’s really turning me off.

Firstly, have had senior managers approving presentations in private, and when the presentation got shot down in public, these people just look out the window and pretend don’t know. When in fact they already approved it and now in the face of public criticism, they slink away and wash their hands off it and let us get shot. This is a fine example of lead by example, people leadership, desired behaviour etc and other key words currently being bandied around. Secondly, have had senior manager plot and plan 95% of the presentation, with his fingerprints written all over it, and when present to the Director, and the director shoots holes all over it, he twiddles his thumbs, sits back, looks out the window, and lets ME take the blame/fall for it, when in fact his fingerprints were all over 95% of the presentation. And he had the guts to turn to me and say ‘see Alex? That’s right. Dato is right. You should have done it this way that way just like Dato says. I told you what. Why you never do?’ etc. OMG.

And then, there was that recent instance of heavy politics being played out where senior managers tried to use me as a pawn for them to play up their own visibility and simply poke weak holes. At the end of the day, they claim and say they want the truth, but they cannot handle the truth. When we give the truth, they go all haywire and go mad and bark like crazy. What they want to hear is what they want to hear. If they don’t hear that, they will keep jumping on you until you say what they want to hear. And they do not have the gumption or balls to speak the truth.

Now, they are trying to use extremely flimsy, subjective and weak excuses to deny someone dear to me the promotion she so richly deserves. If you look at her technical competencies and achievements, real hard deliverables, she has done above and beyond what the company claims it wants. And just because some hotshot upstairs took a personal and subjective bias against her, now all the senior managers are scrambling to nitpick/exaggerate/stretch the truth to finagle some sort of justification for the director’s claims, just to appease the aforementioned director and save their own asses. No one has the balls to stand up for her. And when shit happens, everyone slinks off and lets her be the fall guy. How can these people sleep at night? How can they call themselves good Muslims or Christians or whatever? And you wouldn’t believe some of the petty things they pick at. And it is extremely subjective. In fact, the bias is so clear when you compare what they say about her against her peers, who demonstrate the same ‘weaknesses’ which are left unchecked or heeded.

So…senior management and managers…it’s a game. Play it smart and with a clear conscience. Do what we got to do.

Atheist/Free thinker

I’ve been wondering. What is so wrong with being an atheist or free thinker? At the end of the day, what really matters is that we are all good human beings who live life with a good heart and do good deeds and do it sincerely because that is what we want to do. We don’t cheat on our wives because we love them and thus don’t want to cheat on her and hence cause her to feel pain. We love them so much there is no one else better than her anyway. No one can tempt us away from them. We don’t steal because we should not take what is not ours, not because of the fear of God’s wrath. God shouldn’t be a wrathful punishing God. He should be loving and caring. We should do the right thing because it is the right thing, not because we fear the retribution of doing the wrong thing. That will not remove the desire to do the wrong thing. We should tackle the source itself i.e. the desire to do the wrong thing.

So when I see people who profess to be members of a religion, and they are not as good human beings as me, I feel quite…I don’t know what the right word is. I really think what is so wrong with being a good atheist/free thinker if it makes me a better human being than one who professes to be members of a particular faith? True, they stamp their feet and make all sorts of preachy declarations and promises in their places of worship but once that is over and they hit the streets as part of society, all that is forgotten.

If I cannot properly adhere to all the teachings of a particular faith, I would never dare to identify myself as a member of that faith. My face skin is not so thick. And when this is pointed out to these people, they go “but we aren’t perfect and we are trying”. What I personally truly feel is that I don’t see much trying. They are not trying or trying hard enough, because they fall for very obvious and simple sins, and when this is pointed out to them, they have all sorts of excuses to explain these things away.

You cannot pick and choose what and when to believe. You got to do it whole heartedly or you’re being disrespectful, you hypocrite.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Modern day neanderthals

Guys who are single, will spend a lot of time hitting the gym either due to a desire to sculpt their body and use it to chase girls, or will spend a lot of time at the gym and doing various sports because it makes them happy to feel fit and physically active (me me!). They will throw themselves into their hobbies and live selfishly because that makes them happy, and will have a burning drive to achieve something career wise in the hopes that it makes them attractive to girls (usually from what I hear/see/observe).

Girls likewise who are single, will spend a lot of time hitting the gym to sculpt their bodies to attract guys. They will also spend time indulging in their hobbies since they only have to worry about their own happiness so they live a highly individualistic life with the 100% sole focus of doing whatever makes themselves happy. They will either be so indulgent in their chosen lifestyle that a career that enables them to maintain this lifestyle will suffice, or they will be hell driven to be a high flyer at work in order to use that as some sot of excuse or reasoning as to why they are single (at least I have my job!) or to get some sense of financial security.

Notice that they focus a lot on developing their bodies and doing activities that can meet members of the opposite sex. But not many focus on developing their characters and personalities! And THAT ladies and gentlemen, is where the problem is. Everyone focuses on the wrong things in themselves to improve, and also the wrong things to look for in members of the opposite sex, and hence, people like that always fall for the wrong people. Little do they realize that the lack of selflessness and consideration for others (perhaps highly influenced by their single status and hence lack of necessity to look out for anyone else but themselves) is a huge turn off, hence further cementing their inability to find genuine treasures in members of the opposite gender. First things first: you should always focus on developing your self from the inside out.

Through personal experience and observations, I have concluded that invariably, most of the time, people in relationships are happier than people who are not in relationships. But, other things will suffer. For example, people in relationships tend not to be so driven career wise and they also spend less time exercising and working out. They are contented, and don’t have that edge, that drive, that burning need to replace that hole in their lives with either an explosive social life, career or a good body; at least something to show for their lack of love life. Their lives have meaning beyond the superficial. We found better ways to spend our time.

When I was in university and very happy and contented with my relationship, I was happy to put in just enough effort into my studies and various other work initiatives, and sparingly exercise. Meanwhile, single friends/recently broken up friends etc were damn gung ho about hitting the gym, about sports, about their careers. Basically while they were out there improving themselves I was in a stationary spot happily lazing about with the girlfriend. And she was in a likewise similar situation, both of us happily eating ourselves into oblivion.

After my recent spate of singleness, I foresee that having a girlfriend again is going to lead down the same path of wanting to spend every moment together when not at work and doing the bare minimum at work so that can go home earlier to be with girlfriend. As it is, not like I was fat to begin with, but as has been pointed out, I’m rapidly losing weight…shirts no longer fit well...but now hang loosely…guess it’s time to be mature, be disciplined, and learn to fit everything in and juggle it as part of the modern 24/7 lifestyle!

Monday, September 10, 2007

The perfect Sunday

God says we should not hanker after material things. But I oh so wish I had enough money to happily spend my Sunday afternoons at home re-reading the entire collection of Calvin and Hobbes and TinTin.

My perfect Sunday would start off like this: wake up, open eyes, turn head, see girlfriend. Give her a big hug, lie in bed dilly dally a bit, with her, get up, play music, while we both freshen up and clean up. Get dressed hop in car with the girlfriend, drive out to some old style coffee shop for fresh half boiled eggs (2 please) and steamed (with kaya and butter please) white bread, then drive back, and laze in the room with air cond and not too dark, frolic a lil bit, and then while she reads something and I am reading comics to my heart’s content, take a nap, wake up, go for basketball, come back, have dinner with her, and we’d spend the evening either kicking back in the room in a comfortable state watching a dvd before finally getting in some cuddles and hugs and then last thing I see before I fall asleep is her.

Bliss! Heaven!

On a serious note..

Some people might be born lucky. They have never been on the disadvantaged or discriminated against side of life. In this country, born Malay, they have only known the beneficial effects of the affirmative policy. Working in the non-discriminated-against department of my company, they have only known life with a big budget for departmental entertainment and social events, departmental getaways to island resorts, etc. Having never faced any part of life in the disadvantaged sector, they naturally like things the way they are, and want things status quo. To them, it boils down to: this current government and its policies help ME enjoy riches and privileges, so I’ll keep voting for it. The regards of the victims of this government and its so called ‘privileges’ and the largesse the minority are enjoying as a result of the government playing Robin Hood and unfairly taking from the rich and capable to the detriment of the nation are utterly ignored.

Hence they will vote the BN again and its people like that who will ensure this country will never improve and never change. Despite acknowledging that our neighbours are prospering although we have more natural resources and manpower, and thus have a better government than us, they still fail to see that the reason why we are falling behind everyone else is this government and its policies, hence dooming us to a perhaps irreversible sequence of events that will lead inexorably to us reverting back eventually to the Third World country we’ve never really not been.

On another note, I had an interesting conversation over lunch with a fellow Scholar. You know how religion teaches us not to do something ‘bad’ (e.g.: steal) because God’s retribution will be to cast us into hell or something bad like that? Hence children do not misbehave because they FEAR the punishment, although they have no concept of what this punishment, this Hell, Heaven, God is. But children should not be brought up to do the right thing out of fear of the punishment of doing the wrong thing. Children should be brought up to do the right thing because it is the right thing. They should not take what does not belong to them and has not been given to them with permission etc.

Thursday, September 06, 2007

My coupe

I’ve never been a car type of guy. The last guy in the world talking about horsepower, V6 engines, torque, pickup, max speed, chassis, etc, is me.

Hmm…there is no burning desire, no “heavily torn between” type of emotion. But, there is a slight yearning, a slight longing, not much, just a little bit mind you, but its still there. What am I talking about?

It would be nice wouldn’t it, to drive a sports car? My current car is not very powerful hence has the pickup of a cow and consumes petrol like crazy. If I could just go back to my youthful days, I’d own a sports car, with ultra powerful speakers and a good quality sound system, slightly tinted windows, and sports rims. It would be great fun, cruising at high speed down the freeway, speakers pumping and feeding the adrenaline coursing through my young hormonal charged body. If I wanted to overtake, I can. The driving experience mate, that’s what I’m talking about.

My first choice though would still be a proper steady sedan type of car, something versatile, like a Toyota or Honda. But my second car would definitely be something sporty. I like the Fiat coupe. Oh, I’ve heard many people knock it, claiming this and that. But hey, I’m not a serious car aficionado so it makes no real difference to me. I just like the way it looks. I’m not into heavily modified exteriors, with low bumpers (impractical), Xenon lights (piss others off), high windbreakers (block view) etc. It’s the lifestyle. Better still if it’s a convertible!

As I grow older the allure of the luxury car slowly increases as well. Its beckoning calls louder and louder. Perhaps when I am 35-40, it’d be time to start hunting for one. Come to think of it, it seems like the choice of a guy’s car would reflect his age and character. I guess there are bits of a sporty/flashy guy and a steady/dependable guy in me.

At my age of almost 25, it’d be an unwise investment to be saddled down with paying off a new car, since I still have a car that serves my purposes at the moment. If I really wanted a new car, I’d have to wait until I am older, by when it’d be silly to buy anything but a steady sedan. I’m lucky enough to be offered a new car by the mother, but I believe the wise thing to do is not to take up her offer.

In the meantime, I guess it is not a crime to look longingly at a sports car. I’m just looking.

Selection criteria

According to the latest research published yesterday, apparently, when it comes to choosing a guy for them, girls choose based on many criteria. But guys were pretty standard; as long as the girl was above a certain physical attractiveness threshold, anyone would do. He would take them all had he the chance.

Then I heard another version. Girls were given photographs of guys together with the guys’ job. Thus, the girls got to choose from guys ranging from handsome/successful to ugly/unsuccessful. The results were surprising. Instead of the expected clamour and top heavy pattern skewed towards handsome/successful guys, the result was a bell curve, with the most popular guys being the averagely handsome/successful types.

The justification was that no 1 wants ugly/poor guys and no1 wants the pressure/insecurity and pressure of the handsome/successful guy either.

Interesting observations, don’t you think?

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Politics @ work

Ok I had a lot of things to talk about. Things that are interesting (for me) that point to entertaining and amusing conclusions. But that plan was rudely uprooted. Things occurred at work that renders me in the worst foul blackest of moods. Anger and disappointment fills my soul, every pore of it, and threatens to make me behave in a way that might cause me to regret later. Normally my policy is not to taint and toxify my blog with ... negative experiences and too many criticisms of work. But today I make an exception.

This has happened before and mark my words, this bloody thing will happen again.

I hate it when people use and step on others in their bid to promote themselves, promote some agenda, and make themselves look better. They do not do things with the intention of helping others, but more so with trying to play the political game and making themselves look better. And if they can put down another person’s MT, hey, even better! Make their MT look better. I realize, the better you do, the more people try to gun you down.

And when the task was done by someone else, who did a bad job, and he didn’t even have the decency to show up but was away at his other non work related commitments, I stood up to the plate and did it for him. I am not questioning his commitments though I have a good case for that; I am just saying, whatever you do, please do it well. And I’m taking the fall and flak for it.

And, those senior managers who have seen and reviewed this, agreed to it, and earnestly pushed it, SUDDENLY in the face of resistance, BACKED AWAY, and became very quiet. This is THEIR work that I’m taking flak for. They literally sat there still as a mouse and watched me get ripped.

OK enough. I won't elaborate further. Need to grab a camel and fuck it hard else I will go mad with anger. Nevermind. Dissipate. Dissipate. Deep breaths. Vent not my anger on underserving folks.

Monday, September 03, 2007

Of spinsters and bachelorettes

Now, after some years of observations, conducting a few unscientific surveys, and collecting anecdotal evidence, I have come to the regrettable deduction and hence conclusion as follows:

1) There are a lot of above mid twenties single girls out there, many of whom have either never been in a rship, been in a serious rship, or held down any rship for more than a few months. These last categories are the target subjects of this post. For those of you single and above mid twenties readers, some of whom have been very loyal, you know who you are (I know, I keep track), I just want to say that this post DOES NOT apply to you; you have exhibited much more class, maturity, selflessness etc to warrant the negative remarks I am about to spew about some of your brethren. Hence, one more time: this isn't a negative tirade about you.

2) Upon closer inspection and analysis of their characters, I have come to realize that there are some commonalities shared across the spectrum by our heroines. And trust me, these personality traits are more ugly than pretty. In fact, some are downright disgusting. Elaborations later.

3) There are far more unaesthetically pleasing girls with good attitudes who are happily attached compared to the higher numbers of aesthetically pleasing but character turn offs who are single.

4) Hence the greatest cause for girls who either have never been in a serious rship, never been IN a rship, or never successfully held down a decent rship for more than a few months are their characters and personalities. More so than the long held opinion that when it comes to guys' criteria, its 100% looks.

Well, why do I say so?

Because certain character flaws are way too gross to overlook. When I look at spinsters who have never experienced a true, loving, long term, serious stable rship, I notice a few patterns emerging.

1. Selfishness. Extremely self centred to the point of turn off. Incapable of seeing anything except their own self interests, and that desire to procure what is best for themselves first and foremost shines through like a beacon in certain situations. It is hard to ascertain what came first; singlehood and hence the need to look after oneself, or selfishness and hence singlehood. One thing is for sure: the vicious cycle has to change, else, nothing will change.

2. Idealistic expectations. These types want the best guy that can be created. They are easily impressed by riches, and want a guy who is rich handsome tall charming intelligent kind nice sexy well built funny etc etc the list goes on get the point yet? No1 is good enough.

3. Greed and laziness. They want the best, the most, etc, and refuse to settle for anything less than that no matter how perfect this dude might be. And the worst part is they want something but refuse to put in effort to earn it. Point being, if you want the perfect guy created by God, you have to try to improve yourself to be somewhat desirable by such a man; it is absolutely greedy selfish and lazy to want the best but allow your body and character to rot to high heaven. Always want the most for the least, slightly kiasu, looking for the best deal for themselves.

4. Fathers who are good material providers. Self explanatory. Any possible deductions derivable, feel free to explore the idea further.

5. Hard unforgiving women. Easy to take offence, and easy to condemn and criticize, hardly ever seeing the good in others, quick to snap, judge, hard to forgive people. Critical and judging. Highly able to rationalize all unreasonable self behavior to other people's fault. Always on the lookout to defend self and prevent self from getting hurt.

6. Certain masculine characteristics which may or may not include physical features.

7. A bad temper. Easy to fly into a rage, even at long time friends and when in anger, even over small things, tend to forget the closeness of friendships and what it means, and can just use extremely harsh, unnecessary and cruel words before trying to understand the friend's point of view. Just scold and curse and swear first (if at all there is a 'second'). Extremely disgusting.

Those are the few I have enough awakeness to think of right now. Time for bed!

Again I stress, to some of, especially Winkris, this post is in no way about you. PEACE!