Thursday, May 31, 2007

Hit the road, Jack

I don't know about you guys, but how many people actually enjoy driving? Being on the road? Frankly speaking, if and or when I leave this country to work, most likely I won't be getting a car soon in my new country of abode. Thats one of the things I will miss most about Msia.

Of course, I'm totally ignoring talking about traffic jams in this conversation.

Ok, I will miss looking around for cars that used to belong to people I know. I will miss looking around for cars being driven by people I know. I will miss playing games such as trying to think of something that makes sense from other cars' license plate i.e. WTF 1977 could be What The Fuck and 1977 is my sister's birthyear. 

I will miss trying to imagine cars' headlights being eyes and faces, each forming unique expressions. And I would 
miss trying to spot a pretty face in the numerous cars around me. But I think what I'd miss most would be
speeding. Speeding along empty highways, especially at night. Or in the early mornings. Or in the dead of night.
When theres just a couple of cars. And the street lights cast a magical glow. Sprint, Penchala, even Federal...

I would really miss coming back from KL at night after clubbing, with the windows down, music banging away, maybe smoking a ciggie, elbows resting on the sill, shouting along with the music, while gunning the pedal. Bon Jovi comes to mind. Also September comes to mind. I would miss listening to Coldplay's Beautiful World as I drive back from the curve at night while the rain falls gently down, and the night is illuminated by the lights of cars.

Something else that I'd miss doing...dancing in the car! A habit I developed over the last year or so..trance techno! But trance techno I alwiz feel like shuffling a bit, moving my feet a bit. And it can get dangerous coz I tend to listen to music at loud volume and when its techno, the adrenaline gets me pumping and doing dangerous stunts. So, no no. Sorry Chris Lawrence, though you're the best. So the best music to drive along to... is R n B! 

A little bit of movement here, a little bit of movement there. Theres the obviously and famous popular tunes. But personally, there are some RnB gems that people don't know about in the mainstream anymore. TLC's Creep comes to mind. Toni Braxton's You're Making Me High. Mark Morrison's Return of the Mac. Too Close by Next. And Montell Jordan's This is How We Do It. Joy Enrique - Tell Me How U Feel. Notorious BIG - Big Papa. LAD - Ridin Low. And
most Wu Tang Clan.

V Old skool, I know.

So if you ever spot a car zipping around erratically, and a spiky haired boy bopping around in the driver'st know its me. Don't forget to holler out.

A'ight, overandout.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

I'm in love...!

No, not really. I'm just kidding.

- - - - -

It was a slightly overcast, but no rain, early Sunday morning. The roads were more or less empty. There was no1 around. Large empty roads, early Sunday morning, perfect for speeding. I thought I was alone, and turned up the music loud, as I zoomed along. Then...

I first saw you in my rearview mirror. I was doing 125kph and you were still catching up quick.
When you were near enough I realized you were a girl. Unconcerned with you, I continued to rack
up my speed as per my norm, til I hit 140kph on the Penchala. You were STILL catching up.

Now I'm interested. Which girl would drive over 140kph on a Waja?

So I slow down...And you caught up. And as you drew alongside me, we shared that 1 second glance, a glance of mutual understanding, yet so much more, unspoken. We continued in this 
fashion, zooming at 142-144 kph all through the Penchala, stopping at the toll, and 
resuming our high speed dare devil high risk game of
courtship. Some call it immaturity. I call it...adrenaline and thrill at its best, just the way I like it.

We hit the Mont Kiara highway. 150kph, all the way. To hell with the speed traps. Then you drew ahead. And I
drew alongside. We continued to exchange glances, in that dramatic fashion. We hit the Kerinchi. Again, we were neck and neck, occasionally slowing down to 120kph to negotiate turns and corners, and where necessary, 80kph.

We turned a corner. A cop car. I hesitate. I'm not sure if I should slow down. You slow down, and I take your cue. 
But you mislead! You pick up speed again. I pause for a second to consider speeding or to pay attn to the cop car.
I decide to hell with it, spontaneity rules the day, we only live once. So I gather up speed, and again, we indulge in our little game. As I catch up, you toss your head back in laughter. I am well and truly smitten. We hit the Federal, and wind in and out, and hit the highway right beside the Megamall turnoff, heading towards Cheras. Now its a thrilling game. I slow down to take the turnoff to the Sg Besi highway. You draw
 alongside me on my right. We 
both slow down significantly, signifying the end of the joyride. We look at each other and
exchange a mutual
glance. There is a slight nod of both
heads. She removes her sunglasses. And a warm smile from
her. I debate whether I should give her a wave. I decide not.

Then she picks up speed, takes the turning to go South towards Johor as I embark on that turn to the Sg Besi highway. I cast back 1 final quick glance, at the little Waja that is quickly gaining speed again, as it negotiates
that turn, fading fast into the distance, until it becomes a speck and then, no more.

- - - -

What an adventure. It is a rare sight indeed, to encounter a Malay girl, in very modern dressing, with a very modern looking tudung, and sunglasses, and a pretty face, and enough balls to rock along at such speeds.
Modern, with a touch of conservativeness and reservedness. Daring and full of adrenaline. Indeed, many a wild
ride she must have in her. Ahem.

JHJ 46.


Saturday, May 26, 2007

Stay Away, Imbeciles!

I have long ago recognized that there are, very generically speaking, 3 types of people when it comes to being alone.

The first type: Can't stand being alone. Must always have friends, or boyfriend.
The second type: Can and doesn't mind being alone but if only for short periods of time.
The third type: Relishes and totally enjoys being alone but can tolerate being with others if for short periods of time.

And at roughly the same time, I realized I belong stoutly in the third category. However, people in the third category
usually, not always, but usually, possess certain characteristics.

- We think we are better than many of the people we meet. This is very bad...but yes I admit..we have a superiority
complex, but only in terms of mental/moral/emotional capacities, not like those discriminative ones such as  race.
- We tend to think a lot and brood a lot and have fantastic imagination qualities. This is not immediately apparent
to non third type species, but its true. When we are alone, or even while in the midst of a group, our minds can 
wander off and think of all sorts of things and possibilities. We just don't say it out. What we say out is p'haps
15% of what actually is on/went through our minds.
- We have a v emotional side, v capable of depths of feel, nostalgia, sentimentality, and a penchant for dredging up memories. And we judge ourselves special in this dept, and find it hard to believe others can relate to this.

Having said all that, I shall now expound slightly on why I find my own company so much more desirable than hanging out with others most of the time or why I don't bother to make new friends.

1. Don't you notice that the guys out there now that we meet are totally gross? When guys get together they drink. Drink drink and drink for the sake of... what?! Just to one up the other. Pay a shitload of $ to get pissed and wasted. Why? Playing games that have no purpose except to make everyone drink at every opportunity and as much as possible. Whats so fun and cool there? And they like to boast about it and crow about their drinking prowess and activities. OK, I AM IMPRESSED. geez. unfortunately, some of these guys are friends of friends so I have to keep my mouth shut for the sole reason of not making it tough for my friends.

2. When they get together, they must talk about cars. wat impreza and evo and god knows wat... who the hell cares? i don't give a hoot about cars except i like such or such coz it..looks nice. give me a nice safe comfy powerful toyota or honda and im cool. well, since i have a choice...mazda 6! jus coz it looks nice. haha... i used to like the fiat coupe, i still do, but was told by JC that it has a lot of problems. oh well, jus give me 4 wheels, a safe body, enough power pickup n top speed, looks nice, petrol efficient.. and im happy! really cant stand it when i go out and meet male friends of friends, and all they do is talk about cars like their life depends on it and their social acceptance is destined by how much they know and whether or not they can one up one another. grow up!

3. technology. when guys get together they must talk about handphones. compare la, talk about prices la...whip their phones out la.."aiyo my samsung X345 [which is like damn new modern expensive n recently bought] is old liao u know ar the new nokia 324? damn chun man. can blah blah blah". i feel like politely standing up, excuse me, take their phone, and throw it on the floor and smash it n see it break. i mean..seriously dude, a phone is a phone is a phone end of story. end of the day u throw anything on the floor it smashes. ur not seriously gonna use ur damn phone to web surf n wat not wat so get real ok life revolves not around ur damn phone. identify what functions u need. find phone with said functions n budget. buy. keep using until ur functional needs exceed ur phones capabilities. else keep phone. what for waste $? this kind of mentality..continuously on the lookout for
wat is newer and better. with that kind of mentality no wonder they alwiz change gf and THEN complain bout it.

4. it is virtually impossible to meet a cool girl nowadays. the insipid girl: this lot are quiet and subservient to their
bfs and sort of acquiesce to their demands all the time. they just sit there n tolerate it when the dumb bf is like scrolling thru the damn ringtones on his brand new phone. i hate it when ppl scroll. through. ringtones. in. public. anyway..yea...just dont like girls who dumbly sit beside their bf while he is in the arcade, talking crap with his mates, scrolling thru ringtones, watching dumb movies, watever man. u chose ur bed so lie in it, u insipideo.

5. the kind who thinks their bf is soo cool and everything and da shiznit. gawd.. show some maturity.

6. the boy crazed kind who everything revolves ard boys n rships n imagining so n so likes her. aiyo. shant even waste time on this.

7. theres just no cool, fun loving, hip, rock babe out there man.

8. boys who wake in the middle of the night and then start shooting off the hip n criticizing all humanity also piss me off. so pls excuse me while i go shoot myself.

Friday, May 25, 2007

I will fight for you - coz we're the special two

I tossed. I turned. I am conscious. I am aware that I'm awake. I try to sleep. But sleep refuses to
re-enter me. I open my eyes and glance out the window and try to imagine the night sky and the stars. But all I
see is the porch, and a cicada or 2. I press the illuminator on my alarm clock and it says 4 15am. I know

conclusively I really can't sleep. I would like to get up and go to work. It is possible. We have operations running
24/7 right now and my presence would be welcome indeed. But I am afraid because...that area is haunted. So
I shall wait for daybreak.

In the meantime I lie there pondering. Pushing thoughts from my mind that I know eventually I need to deal with.
I get up and type a short ranty post. But still I can't sleep. Dammit. OK. Time to confront what I have to confront, 
cannot push it away anymore.

- - - - - - -

I switch on one of my fav songs. Missy Higgins' The Special Two. Brilliant. One of the few good Australian singers along the ilk of Delta & Imbruglia. I used to play this song on my discman as I left my house at night, and made the long cold solitary walk/cycling trip to my girlfriend's place. Vividly, I recall the path - exit house, race along Cardigan, turn right onto Elgin, head for Intersection Cafe where the petrol station is, turn left at the lights and
race up along Lygon, pass the corner pub opposite the church, up up up, 
pass the flats on the right side, up up up,
until I hit College Sq. Then, take the lift, up to 2N10. By the time the song is done, I would be there, and once she
opens the door, I would have been all psyched up to jump on her and hug her fiercely, never letting go, coz we
were 'the special two'. Haha..childish..but pure. And thats all in the past now.

At Cairns, in the middle of the night, when I headed up for the ship's deck, and it was dark, COLD, WINDY, and I
was all alone and felt this magic all alone in the middle of the night in the middle of the ship in the middle of the
Great Barrier Reef. I yearn and crave for those moments, when the night feels special, when you are more or
less the only 1 awake. I shake my head now, to clear these random memories.

But yet they won't go away. No thanks to Miss EM, who recently came back on a trip to Melb, and showed me pics
she took and made me guess where she took them from. At first, it was a game..Fed Sq...Collins Street, Melb
Town Hall, Southbank, Lin Ctrl etc. But after a min or so, seeing these familar places, images seared thru my 
head, jolting awake long dormant sentiments. And before the tears came, I quickly guessed the whole pile of pics
and retreated into Alex 2 while outwardly maintaining a jovial expression of the publicly expected Alex.

Why the strong attachment there? There was a period of time when I was quite sick and tired of everything there
and all I ever wanted was to get the hell outta there. P'haps its a case of the grass is greener on the other side.
Maybe back then it was fun n games, and now here its hell and work, so naturally, that place is associated with
sweet warm memories. Whatever it is, I have to make a decision, and soon, about something thats been on my
mind and bugging me for the last 1 year.

In order to retain my PR, I must spend 2 (I heard this has changed to 3) years out of every 5 living in Australia. Its
been a couple years already since I left the country. And I will very very soon need to decide if I want to retain
that PR, for if I do, then it is high time to make preparations already to start going back. So now its a matter of..
Aus? PR? Or..staying put in KL? Or...going to another city anew? P'haps Spore.

But I don't want to be TOTALLY alone there, and it seems like most of the people I can still consider desirable company are no longer in Melb or will not be there soon. Living life alone is cool - most of the time. But not all of
the time. They say, 'make new friends!'. Easier said than done - I tend to spot very little in common with people
whom I meet nowadays. Even less who I desire as company.

Grr...and with that, I shall end this post, and lie back, while Katie Melua fills my room at 5 20 in the morn..

Robots, we are not

Humans being humans, are subject to various dynamic forces on our psyches, and are thus wont to
inconsistent behaviour. This is not to say that our behavior is irregular and inconsistent and highly
volatile. No. What this means is that our behaviour should not have 0 standard deviation unless
we are robots. Hence, some slight variations of behavior and occasional departures from the norm
are very acceptable and normal indeed, provided they more or less stay on the course which more
or less ties in with our typical behavior. This can be evidenced by a discernible pattern.

Hence, it will not do if one tries to maginify, scrutinize and comb through people's statements and
behavior looking for inconsistencies and then gleefully pointing every1 of them out triumphantly, as
if they have just successfully uncovered a fake and a liar. Giving people no room to have slight
fluctuations in behavior is highly immature as it shows an unfamiliarity with human behavior. Humans
aren't robots with preprogrammed structures to govern them to ensure that they respond in exactly
the same way to a given situation.

Having purged the above sentiments from my hunble self in response to certain comments I have received,
I shall now delete this unfortunate episode from my mind, as life is short, and it is certainly not worth it
to dwell on the misconceptions of oneself by someone who has obviously shown themselves to be not worth
much after all. And in true schizophrenic or watever colors, this post endeth, and another begins shortly...

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Draw blood from stone

* While hacking this out after work last night ... halfway through...decided to stop for 5 mins to listen to music...
next thing I is 5.30am...time to get up and go back to work...crap...finish this post first.

I'm sure I'm not the only one. An oft heard complaint about me is that it is very difficult to make me talk, to share 
what is on my mind, my problems, fears, that sort of thing. The emotional stuff. But I make a good listener and
they are happy to come to me when there are issues. (JC - Do not roll your eyes.).To quote a significant someone,
it is like trying to 'draw blood from a stone'. I never reveal things about myself, and if/when I do, they get the
feeling like I'm holding some thing back anyway etc.

It's not like I'm very quiet in real life. Hell no. I am definitely no silent wallflower. Actually, make that stain on the
wall haha. My mouth runs a lot, but its mostly jokes, insignificant things that are good for eliciting a laugh, or just
nothing deep. Very non revealing stuff.

Well, its not that I am cold or unsentimental. No, farrr from it. I think I just find it very hard to talk about myself
just because it is a burden to others. Its like..ok, these are my problems. Now they are compelled to listen, and to
find me find a way to settle them. Of course, my friends would feel offended coz if I regarded em as friends,
I would share it. I just find it hard to be talking about 'my problems'. Its like damn self centred. Hello everyone got problems right. So, what for throw mine into the public fray? I see how others can talk and talk about 
their problems...whole day long.. old problems.. same problems.. recurring problems...and as far as I'm
concerned, of course I would be appropriately sympathetic, listen and all that but at the end of the day, whats
the solution? Either you don't know what you gotta do, in which case, we'll help you figure it out, or, you know
what you gotta do, and if you know, quit whining, and get on with doing it.

I can't sit idly by and listen while the solution is soo obviously glaring in front of me. Don't whine. Don't whinge.
When people tell me their problems, my first instinct is to help em figure out a solution. After all, the POINT is to
eliminate the problem right? That way you are truly helping right? But I learnt sometimes people just want to
moan, and arent looking for a solution. Fine. Time to be sympathetic.

But because I myself tend not to utter sweet nothings that totally does not solve the problem, I also expect none.
I have no idea how to react to sympathetic but non-solutions for my problems. I mean I can listen and listen,
and you can listen and listen, but at the end of the day the problem is still there. So, say and don't say no diff, so
why say? Why not focus on eliminating the damn issue?

But this characteristic of mine is wrong. I am learning to understand that for most people, the comfort is in the
talking, the sharing. Not necessary the solution solving, which more often than not, they also know but just find 
hard to do. If the listener had an ego problem, this situation probably just solves to feed his ego and reinforces
his opinion that ahh I'm such a great listener! While STILL not solving the problem and inspite of the 2 hours of
rambling and crying, the person with the problem walks away with the problem still there.

I don't get it. The problem is STILL there. So how can you walk away feeling better though you've just told
someone? Haihhhhhhhhhhh.... the weird ways of the world. Nvm. Alex, accept it. Try to learn to be a good and
even better listener, be more sympathetic, more forgiving, less harsh, and understand that for some people,
there is comfort in being able to draw in a sympathetic ear when they are facing problems.


Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Beautiful Girl

Tried to read...but was distracted by and thinking of an SMS conversation earlier in the night that I was having...then decided to focus on the book and pushed all thoughts from my mind...and true to my prediction...I lasted barely 15 minutes before I started to nod off.

5 seconds, a hop, a flick of the light switch, another hop into bed, and a flinging-off-all-clothes-save boxers motion later, I was lost...until...I started dreaming...vivid dreams..emotions so real you can reach out and touch can actually feel it.. even after you wake.

And promptly experienced waves of emotion that had me sitting up abruptly, sweating despite the 16 degrees aircond, a funny feeling in my chest, an inability to return to sleep, and Jose Marie 
Chan's Beautiful Girl ringing through my head. Glanced at the 
tableclock, pressed the illuminator: 5am. 

Well, I definitely can't fall back asleep, too many thoughts sweeping around in my 
head like pieces of fruits in a juicer. And Beautiful Girl being one of my all time 
all time favourites..rang 
resonantly and meaningfully around
this woebegone skull o mine. And I couldnt just lie there..had to cast out these distracting
thoughts from my head like a magician casts out electric spells from his seized by a random bout of my occasional musical 
inspirations, I seized my guitar and used it to exorcise these buggers..after 15 mins
of feverishly hunching over
that wonderful piece of wood with a hole in it and 6 strings tied to it, I had the chords all figured out.

Demons...vanquished. Can..breathe..easy. Time to go.

JMC- Beautiful Girl
Verse 1:

Eb                           Gm
Beautiful girl, whereever you are
                       G#                                       Gm 
I knew when I saw you, you had opened the door
                       G#                         Eb           Fm
I knew that I'd love again after a long, long while
I'd love again
                Eb                          Gm
you said 'hello' and I turned to go
                                  G#                                 Gm
but something in your eyes left my heart beating so
                             G#                       Eb             Fm
I just knew that I'd love again after a long, long while
I'd love again

                         Gm   G#                                     Gm  G#
It was destiny's game,        for when love finally came on
                  Gm            G#                        Bb
I rushed in line only to find that you were gone

Verse 2:

wherever you are, i fear that i might

have lost you forever, like a song in the night

now that I've loved again, after a long, long while

I've loved again

Beautiful girl, I'll search on for you

till all of your loveliness in my arms come true

you've made me in love again, after a long, long while

in love again

and I'm glad that its you...

mmmmm... beautiful girl..

Monday, May 21, 2007

Nothing in particular

So it's been a 1 week hiatus from my blog, the place where random thoughts generated in my non
stop motor brain gets plastered for all the world to see. The week has been utterly utterly busy,
and I've had no time to blog, due to the absurd 14-hr-a-day demands of this project, and my immaturity
that manifests itself in my steadfast refusal to allow 'work' to interfere with my Life.

Throughout, so many blog topics kept occurring to me. I wanted to write about politics. I wanted to write about
work. I wanted to write about music. I wanted to write about friends. I wanted to write about nothing in particular. Couldnt remember/decide what to write.

Just now rushed home from work to take my mum out for dinner, as I'm given to do nowdays as a
means of spending time with her. We just made it before last call. Actually, our maid's contract was up and she 
is back in Indo and me and mum now split the duties and it's really no joy for me to come home late AND cook
dinner for us, unlike before this totally time consuming project started, where I enjoyed coming back and trying
to cook the various dishes that I used to serve up back when I was in Melb. 

OK, an hour til bedtime...shall do some reading...doubt I can finish it though..having trouble staying awake. =)

Monday, May 14, 2007

Tatou? Tattoo? Tatou? Tattoo?

OK, besides that they are both Gauls, what does Coralie Clement and Audrey Tatou have in common?

They share a very significant fan - moi.

I like Coralie Clement coz her songs are all v nice. And I like Audrey Tatou coz ... well, its illogical,
but its just something about her performance in Amelie. But it was SLIGHTLY affected by her
portrayal of Sophia in The Da Vinci Code. Oh well. =)

So, Tatou, or Tattoo? Speaking of which, I have long desired to pierce my ears, ever since HS in fact, BUT coz
my mum says that if I do that, it somehow will lead to me having no money, and me being a total money slut, I
decided not to do it. Anyway, so since I want a tatt or a stud, and I cant have a stud (ahem though it
 doesnt mean I cant BE a stud but sorry I digress) I thought why not a tatt! But the idea of something that cannot be removed,
unlike a stud, is a bit scary. I mean tatts are for life arent they? What if I'm out picnicking with my future gf's
family and they see it and they are like incredibly wary of and anti me? For some conservative reason. Maybe they
are just some Puritannical types or Mormons, I don't know. With the advent of religionism today...

So anyway in Phuket I decided to get a fake Henna one just to see how it looks and if good then me gets da real
deal. So we get to choose our patterns right? So I was browsing thru her selection...and I ended up doing this jus
coz the drawing looked cool nice and VERY familiar, like I'd seen it somewhere b4 but I dont know where. Sorry
this is the only pic I have of this tatt..

And then today, I was showering... and then it hit me where I'd seen it before!

No wonder it looked so nice and familiar! Bloody hell I went and tatted myself after my

well done alex.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Falling Into You

Tying in with the previous post...this is a sort of continuation.

[Tribute to C.D.]

People nowadays do not know what are great love songs. There is nothing being churned out on commercial
radio that can beat the 80s and 90s. Nothing. In the 80s and 90s we had Diana Ross, Roxette, Streisand, just to
name but a few. People nowadays attribute love songs to...what, Justin Timber 'show me your boobs Janet' lake?
Or perhaps Lavigne's (who has grown up to become a very fine young lady ahem gosh those thighs) 'Girlfriend'.
Come on. Nothing there.

Romance. That 'something' feeling you get in the pit of your stomach, when your heart leaps and misses a beat.
Some songs, for me, just quite accurately captures that feeling. Of course, we have to remember this is
subjective. It depends quite heavily on:

- who you heard it with
- what you felt when you heard it
- the circumstances

And these are all variables that differ from person to person. But for me, inspite of whatever flak Celine Dion has received from other people, she is still 1 of my all time fav solo artistes. It frustrates me that she is always left
out of convos, even though she has great songs, and one of the top vocal abilities ever. But little
secret it shall remain. There are her well known numbers, such as:

- Immortality, her collab with the Bee Gees
- Let's Talk About Love
- I'm your angel, her collav with R Kelly (the paedophile!)
- The Power of Love, better than the original version
- Because You Loved Me
- My Heart Will Go On, infamous, thks to Leo & Kate
- The Prayer, with Bocelli

But who knows of her less well known numbers? I'm not talking about her French songs. Most people manage at 
most a couple of decent love songs. But C.D. is 1 of those people
who can consistently churn out that kind of song, and right here I'm referring to 1 of my all time fav albums,
'Falling Into You'. They make me close my eyes, and transport me to a very dreamy and special place...'
Of You
'...'I Love You'...'I Don't Know'...'If Thats What It Takes'...'Call The Man'...'To Love You More'...'Falling Into You'...'Fly'...

Brings back lots of memories too. Ahh...there was SY, the korean girl whose English was as bad as my korean, and
we had much laughter translating english and korean songs to each other, but ultimately, it was doomed as the
strongest understanding we had was to her mother's korean cooking. Encapsulating love songs aside, its time to 
stop, sigh, shut the book, and step out of the house into the grim world again, and for the moment, switch off
my MediaPlayer, and lock away my treasured emotion teleportation devices, to be used again another time when
the occasion calls for it.


I don't get how some people think RnB, like the crap churned out by 
Craig David & Usher and their brethren, is so seductive. Wiggle a bit here, wiggle a bit there. Doesn't do it 1 bit
for me. You know whats good?

- - - -

"Seduces Me"

Everything you are
Everything you'll be
Touches the current of love
So deep in me
Every sigh in the night
Every tear that you cry
Seduces me

All that I am
All that I'll be
Means nothing at all
If you can't be with me
Your most innocent kiss
Or your sweetest caress
Seduces me

I don't care about tomorrow
I've given up on yesterday
Here and now is all that matters
Right here with you is where I'll stay

Everything in this world
Every voice in the night
Every little thing of beauty
Comes shining thru in your eyes
And all that is you becomes part of me too
'Cause all you do seduces me

And if I should die tomorrow
I'd go down with a smile on my face
I thank God I've ever known you
I fall down on my knees
For all the love we've made

Every sigh in the night
Every tear that you cry
Seduces me seduces me
All that you do , , , .. Seduces me

- - - - - - - - - - -

Now that's one helluva seductive song, isn't it? I think it is. The plucked guitar intro...the suggestively breathy
vocals...the very words...the up and down rhythm of the music where it builds to a crescendo and then goes
gentle again...dim the room and light up a couple of candles..flickering..casting shadows on the wall...sheets of
silk and satin...a 4 poster bed with drapes...letting ur finger gently trace every curve...oh alright alright you
bloody prudes...I won't go on. Reputation at stake here, and for those who know me, what little thats left of it
anyway. There's another's off the OST for Unfaithful (hah!) and it's called Ai Du and it is by Ali Farka Toure.

Perfect at a low volume, both. Of course there are others, but I guess there's only so much corn and cheese my
dear readers can devour in one post, right?

A sexy woman is one who doesn't even need to try, but merely by being herself, on a subtle level, posseses a
certain sexiness and allure that subtlely drives one to the dangerous brink of loss of self control..when mad
thoughts, some bordering on criminal, are sent racing through another's mind. 

I reckon I should stop RIGHT HERE, and go do something like take a cold shower, play some sports or something.

But just before that, to close this post, a lil something from Elton John's Original Sin (imagination required):

Oh the furnace wind
Is a flickering of wings about your face
In a cloud of incense
Yea, it smells like Heaven in this place

I can't eat, can't sleep
Still I hunger for you when you look at me
That face, those eyes
All the sinful pleasures deep inside

Tell me how, you know now, the ways and means of getting in
Underneath my skin,
Oh you were always my original sin
And tell me why, I shudder inside, every time we begin
This dangerous game
Oh you were always my original sin

Oh original sin. =)

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Kronder! Crydee! Rillanon!

Call me Arutha. Call me Tomas. Call me Jimmy the Hand.

There is a certain joy in revisiting old books, even books I've read twice before, saying hello to old
friends and characters, and taking solace in knowing how the plot turns while letting the details fill
themselves out.

Every so often, a landmark work of fantasy comes along. And defines the genre and what comes after it.

1 such work is "The Magician", by Raymond E Feist. His Riftwar Saga was good, but he 
has lost the special juice after that, esp. post his collabs with Wurts.

Been in my room the whoolle day due to a twisted ankle. No work, so my wish of lazing around the house became 
true albeit in an unfortunate way. So I've been reading. And boy, is it FUN to discover old companions.

The beautiful Carline. Arutha the born warrior Prince. The magical, forest elves of Elvandar with Aglaranna the
hauntingly beautiful elf queen. Tomas, the boy who became a man, who became a legendary slayer, who became 
the man-king to Aglaranna. When he wore his tabard, and held his ivory finished sword aloft, he struck fear into
the legions and hordes of invaders. The Brotherhood. And Pug, our protaganist.

I suspect why Magician became such a hit is because many of us boys can identify with the characters. There's
Pug, a simpleton, sometimes a loser, in every sense of the word. I see myself in him. Yet I see myself in Tomas.
And I can relate to their games. And the boyish codes of honour. Who has never dreamed of being the hero, who
uses magic, warcraft, sorcery and pure unadulterated combat to save his peoples? And how in the face of alien invasion, each boy grows up within himself and finds his place in the grand scheme of Midkemia, defending its
turn against Kelewan invaders. And how each boy's relationships and friendship with each other develops and
turns, as they push aside feelings and past sentiments to perform their duties.

I like the fighting, the battles, Sgt Gardan's take down of the dark moredhel while escaping through the Green Heart to the Greystone Towers. I like imagining the visions of Tomas laying waste to all around him with his sword, Dolgan with Tholin's hammer, Calin the Elf Prince leading his band across the woods, running, restringing and felling the Tsurani in 1 swift motion. Tales of heroism, of sacrifice, of honor, of courage. They arouse the bloodlust in me. I can imagine [capability aside] if we ever had a war, I could so easily be one of those described:
bloodlusty, crazed, in a trance, just kill kill kill, lay waste, draw blood, end lives, create widows. Just caught up in
the moment, every man a foe to be defeated, strike, shield, strike, shield.

I love how the elves move, how they track, and their skill at the bow and arrows. They remind me of Legolas in
LOTR. Dolgan our dwarf king too. get lost in my fantasy worlds again. I can't wait for Silverthorn, Darkness @ Sethanon, to be revisited too, esp once Jimmy the Hand becomes introduced to the story.

This is bloody fantastic. 

And sorry to bore you if I have. For just a while, I'm allowing a glimpse into my demented joys. 

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Snap back to reality..woops there goes gravity

Listening to..."Hold Me Closer"...from OST to "Almost Famous"

Its 7am..and its dark, grey, cold, rainy...I don't want to go to work!!!

Going on a spate of holidays this year, and it seems like the travel bug has well and truly bitten. The itch needs to
be scratched constantly. Or maybe I'm just lazy. Wouldn't put it past myself.

Target: Bali and/or Perhentian by the end of this year. And it seems like a colleague is being seconded to Germany..*mind frantically runs through the possibility of going there for a holiday since accommodation has been offered free*

The laziness and aversion to work has gone to such gargantuan proportions that the pre working era has taken on a divine like aura. Why, last night I dreamed of Trinity College all over again. A friend is considering migrating there, and the envy has gotten me dreaming of Melb and Trinity College..the buildings..Grattan Strt..FSC..Evan
Burgh building, drama classes, Swanston Strt building, beautiful Samantha my Lit teacher...*sniff*.

OK. Like Eminem says.."Woops..snap back to reality". Work beckons. Gotta still do it, to have the $$$ for hols, right?

Tuesday, May 08, 2007


Posting from the office again!

No good no good this is becoming a baaad habit. If the company allowed us unrestricted internet access, haha, productivity will plummet.

I'm just taking a slight break..had a v quick lunch to compensate for it.

1. Don't you just love girls with that new short ish sexy haircut nowdays? Its like.. I don't know how to describe.. a less extreme version of Charlize Theron's hair in Aeon Flux. With the back sloping up and a bit of fringe...

2. Luckily there's music. Or else I would go haywire everytime I am caught in a jam. I wonder, how many of us actually check out members of the opposite gender (unless u have a preference for something else) when we are driving/caught in a jam/at a traffic light/ while overtaking/check rear view mirror. Sometimes I do. And I know I'm not the only one.

3. MLTR is coming to town for a concert, though not in the city. Still deciding..Hah, for those of you who don't know who MLTR is, you are confirmed too young to be reading this. Please log off that porn site you are visiting and run back to your crib. For the rest of us coolios in the know, admit it, who among us were secret closet fans? Haha...initially I was, but after a while, I couldnt care less. Funny thing was I like Metallica & Nirvana simultaneously as well with MLTR, whereas usually fans of these 2 genres clash.

4. I'm turning 25 end of this year. Over the wkend I went Genting with a guy a few months younger than me and with another guy a few months younger than him. Don't know why, but hanging around them made me feel old. Like...brittle bark. Like jaded bored and uninteresting. Like how I view 30 year old guys. I could only get along well when I chose to indulge in my childish side.

5. When I see older guys..they seem so boring, so dead, so dull...wake, work, home, newspaper, sleep. It's like there is no life no zest no excitement. They couldnt have been like this all this while. They were young once. Like me now. They must've have dreams, thoughts, wishes, ideals, hopes, fantasies, just like me now. Once upon a time they must have been alive, had spirit, had laughter, joy, emotions, went drinking with buddies, joked around, etc. Did life just beat them down into submission? Gawd..I hope I never become like that. Pink Floyd

Its really good how certain era defining songs in your life, after an interval of not listening to it for some time, sounds really good again when you do hear it again. Don't you think?

Roxette immediately comes to mind. So does Ace of Base. Sinead O Connor. Richard Marx. Flying Pickets. Fine
Young Cannibals. I remember when the whole "Megamix" series and "Now! Thats what I call music" 
series first came out...eons ago. Funny how upon reflection, you do realize your 
age, and the places you've been, things you've seen, songs you've heard, people you've met.

Its like...certain places when you first saw it, it was like this. Then, they probably demolished it, built something
over it, etc, and when you go back now, it looks totally different. And somebody who has never been there before
couldn't have guessed how it used to be, what it was like. But you know. And you still store the memories of that
old place in you.

Prime example, is skatepark in Melbourne. Used to be when the tram was approaching the skatepark, you'd be
bombarded by the sounds of kids skating and performing BMX stunts and rollerblading and watnot on the ramps in
the skatepark. But new arrivers to Melb city would never ever have been able to picture the skatepark, because
it is now a garguantine and sprawling combo of shopping complexes.

I get the same feeling when I drive back to my old neighbourhoods. Big drains last time, seem so tiny now. Drains I needed to hold someon'e hand or be lifted over when crossing, I can hop over on one foot. Giant trees seem not so
giant. That row of houses over there? They never existed. Right about where that middle house is, you see, that
1 with the orange gate..yeap...used to be a big tree where we'd use to climb n swing from. And behind that corner lot? Theres a small stream running through, that we used to go to relax, smoke our first cigarettes, drink beer,
search for shredded snake skin and hatched snake eggs, see wild turtles,'d never know now, would

Everywhere we look, theres change. Everything is constantly evolving, changing, moving. So must we I guess.
We can't just sit around and remain stagnant. Think its time for a stock take, i.e., an assessment of where I am now compared against my resolutions at the beginning of the year. But or now, duty beckons. Work .. lies... ahead.

Wow, look, me being responsible! Change. There you go already.

Music Heals the (angry) soul

Left work at 11..that makes it a ..16 hour work day. Its been a while since I did that. Surprisingly, I feel v happy about it. Not at all unhappy. But when I got back, I was quite decided to arrange the lighting in my
room a certain way...using a combo of curtains, candlelamp n windows media player's screensaver.. then decided to select some songs that I could lie down and relax to. 

So I was trolling through me archives...and stumbled across a folder called "My fav soundtrack songs". A stash of some of my fav n most inspiring songs, from memorable soundtracks from memorable films.

Spent quite some time lying down dumbly listening to them and letting myself 
immerse in the nostalgia, sentiment & memories they brought back as an occasional tear rolled down the cheek.. bits n pieces of my past experiences unfolding in my mind as I watched the events unfold/replay, almost like a spectator watching a slide show on a big screen projector.

I'm sharing parts of my playlist. Funny how many of them involve the piano.

1. Love Theme (piano version) from "Romeo & Juliet" OST.
2. Only Time from "Sweet November" by Enya.
3. Amelie Theme Song (piano version) from "Amelie" OST, by Yann Tiersen.
4. Walking In The Air, from "The Snowman", by Howard Blake.
5. Main Theme Song, from "The Last Emperor", by David Byrne.
6. Parting (piano version), from "Rurouni Kenshin" anime, by Samurai X.
7. Theme (violin & piano), from "The Soong Sisters", by Kitaro.
8. Main Theme, "from Braveheart" OST, by James Horner.
9. Main Theme, from "Bicentennial Man" OST, by James Horner.
10. Main Theme, from "Legends of the Fall" OST, by James Horner.

Do enjoy. But please do not indulge in so much piracy.

Monday, May 07, 2007


I have decided to express love for my mother more.

When I first went overseas, 8 years ago, she still looked fine. And when I look back at photos of me, a young, extremely crew cut, fit young boy, at the tender age of just turned 17, smiling with 1 arm proudly around my mum, at the airport just before I took off for Melbourne, I can see how she has aged considerably these last 10 years.

I suppose me being the brat I am, her constant worrying for me contributed to her aging.

It's time I suppose to face the reality that our parents are human too, and are bound to be affected by the natural process of aging. Lately, seeing the signs of her aging are beginning to disturb me. It makes me sad. Already I
have no father, and the prospect of losing my mother really brings me close to tears.

Instead of alwiz professing my love for her blah blah... I have decided to either shut up or do something about it.
So when I was in Phuket...I went through great pains to find her something which I knew she'd like. And she did,
and when I see her being happy that way, it reminds me of how much I want to bring her happiness and joy, not worry. Recently our maid's contract expired, and we sent her back. We are making do without any maid. So we
hired a part time once a week kinda helper...the rest of the time..we split the chores. I do the dishes, help with
the cooking (must not let my Melb cooking experience go forgotten right?), chuck the washing in the washing machine, collect the dry clothing, throw the rubbish etc. Today I went up to Genting to check out how to get there because I'm planning to bring her to the Sally Yeh concert in early June. And Mother's day is just around the corner.

So I've decided, don't just show her my love during special occasions. Everyday can be an occasion. And I still tell
her that she has the most beautiful hands in the world, because even though they might get old gnarled wrinkly knobbly, they are the hands that raised me. I hope by doing all these, she feels loved and happy, and thus can live longer, and thus, can see and play with 
her grandkids, which is what she deserves after all the years of bringing up 4 kids as a widow.

These things, things like filial piety...really dawns on u once you hit a certain age. I'm getting old too.

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Shut up fuckwits.

Been driving around, listening to music in the car, retreating to my secret hiding place to chill in solitude,
a bottle of beer, while enjoying the night sky, cool winds, silence and total alone ness. Needed it, to wash away the other feelings bottled up in me. All in all, a very effective mental & emotional detox.

You know what music's good for a night like this? "Aisha"...I prefer Zouk's version but Cheb Khaled's version isn't half bad either. Youtube has a lot of diff videos of this... here's one..

this one's not bad too, with a duet with Faudel.

Why so much angst?

Well, I've been having a hard time tolerating certain social phenomena. OK first of all, I understand my own flaws - I can be hypersensitive and overly thoughtful n conscious and thus I try to be objective about my sentiments so as to not be biased and thus unfairly and erroneously judge another. OK disclaimer out of the way.

I totally dislike a few things:

1. People talking about stuff they don't know and sounding all authoritative over it. I really dislike it. Either get
your facts right, or shut up. At least, do what I do: Add a disclaimer that you don't know and you are not sure and simply talking cock. Gawd...I see it again and again...talking about this la that la.. either you know or
you don't know. If don't know, just stay mum. A lot of times, at work, in social circles, hanging out with colleagues, whenever, I encounter people talking about things that I know the answer to, but they have it all
wrong and are like so authoritative about it and every1s like hanging on to their every word n lapping it up eagerly. It disgusts me. So even if I know the right answers, I have decided to just stay mum. No point in trying
to enlighten or correct such people. What will it prove? That I'm oh-so-smart, or whatever? Frankly, this stuff is irrelevant to me so theres totally no necessity to correct them. Sometimes, I can't control, and say it, but most
times I just control it and act dumb. Grr.. again...seeing people wax lyrical, especially about things related to my work, that they don't know much of.. pisses me off.

Don't you even dare touch on topics that are related to my work. Unless you know your stuff. Otherwise, if I so
chose, I could really really embarass you. Not coz I am so protective of what I do...but its just the principle of
not talking BS. Talk when you got something, otherwise, dont talk. I am trying to be nice n polite so I just play
dumb and nod along n pretend dont know. Nowdays I cant even b bothered to be nice n diplomatic. No time for
such games n nonsense. I dont blame you for not knowing; its not your subject area of expertise. You cant control 
that. But you CAN control WHEN you choose to open or close your big mouth.

Trivia time!

Did you know M cigarettes burn 25% faster than D cigarettes? Or other premiums for that matter. So
if it took a D cig 10 min to burn itself out, it would take a M cig 7.5 mins. Why is that so? Very briefly:
There is much more recon tobacco n processed stems in M cigs compared to D cigs, which uses much better quality
tobacco. Also there is more ammonia in M cigs. Ammonia is quite flammable, and when you consider the lower
moisture % of recon tobacco, it makes logical sense why M cigs burn faster.

Did you also know M cigs was originally marketed as for females, and was endorsed by Mae West? Pretty.

BTW, not all tobacco leaf tastes the same, even if it was from 1 region. Hence discrepancies in taste vary.

OK I'm bored.

2. Idiots who say they vote for the BN and can't give me a good solid practical answer as to why. For fuck's sake fellow humans, for ur own sake, either don't get involved with any discussions or make sure 
you know what you are talking about and can back yourself up. "I will vote BN next time around!!!". Why?. "Because it looks like Pak Lah is trying hard, because .. because
.. *falters*" Covers it up with a joke or something. 

Ok. Issue! Why do you say Pak Lah is trying hard? Where do you see it? Open your eyes mate. If he was trying hard, its very simple. #1. CM of Sabah has to go. No ifs or buts and no political mollycoddling. #2. Selangor councillor Zakaria must go. Just show us these 2 simple acts, and I will eat my words. Walk the talk. Just do these 2 small things...THEN I will say you try. Otherwise, your oral exhortations are as good as 
blowing hot air.

3. People who are fucking scared of voting opposition coz scared BN lose. Come on humans. Do your research
before you open the fly trap. BN will not lose. Just look at Ijok, Machap. Study their voting process. Its rigged la.
BN can't EVER lose! They have the police, the EC, all backing them up. BN will lose a couple token ones here n there e.g. Lunas, but in the grand scheme of things, they won't lose. Their media control, machinery, money available to spend, etc, all beat the opposition big time. They won't lose. But their majority can be eroded, thus we can instill fear in them as a sort of check and control. Thats is our sole objective. Controls.

4. Peoples preoccupations with trivialities.

5. People being totally biased. I stand by my theory that a certain boss in my company only hires pretty young girls
if he can help it. And he jus waits for his chances to get his cheap thrills here n there. And he does have a pervert face. But though the guys agreed with me to a certain extent, the girls are like OHH NOOO OHHH NOOOO he da man. OK coool But I was right!!! He is caught in mock kiss photo with Babe A, and is hugging Babe B. Since when the fuck did it become acceptable for a male boss to hug his female subordinate? Girls. Imagine your male superior. Now imagine he was hugging you in that non professional way. What do you reckon!?! Nothing work wise will call for such a hug. Now when I think of MY direct boss doing anything remotely resembling that... he'd be fucking fired!!! At least I'm v proud theres no perversity and incest going on in MY department. Thank God. Just pisses me off its acceptable for this boss to do this but another boss (mine) would probably be fired for doing
likewise. Hate double standards!

6. People who want to do something to others but don't like it done back to them. You pinch someone, can. But
when that someone pinch you back, you don't allow. Very gracious. Nvm.

OK...its late...shit 3am...gotta wake in a couple of hours...need to execute my day long plan for tomorrow. Hope it all goes well. If it does, I will have discovered another stream of cheap good fun comfy entertainment. Fingers crossed!

Friday, May 04, 2007

Sliding doors

Speaking of commuting and switching n waiting for trains and busses, suddenly 2 movies just popped into my mind.

Both are noteworthy.

1. "Trains and busses". Or something like that I cannot remember the name or who acted in it but its not a recent one, and its a good movie. Its about this guy who has to rush back to his family a few thousand km across the US and how he tries to take a flight, then train, then bus, then taxi, then rent a car, then hitchhike etc etc and how he meets this other loner guy blah blah and its a good movie. One of those warm warm nice spirit touch your soul types.

2. "Sliding doors", with Gwyneth Paltrow. About this Gwyneth who was rushing to work, and as she runs down the stairs into the subway train, theres a guy sitting there blocking her path. Then she avoids him, and in so doing, adds a precious 2 seconds to her time, thus causing her to JUST miss the train. Its cool. They show then an alternative view..what if she HAD caught the train...and the chain of events that follows. Had she caught it, she'd have gone to work, worked hard, come home, found her man, and lay happily in his arms. But she didnt catch the train, went home, caught him with another woman, tada! I liked the fact they showed both scenarios, and played it out.

Kinda reminds you of life does it not? Everything, every single thing that we do, has an effect on everything else from this point on. Everything we are today is a the result of decisions made yesterday. How 1 single thing can erupt the whole chain. It makes you wonder, is this predestined, or just totally ad hoc? I mean, 1 of my ancestors could have, while in China, been looking over the Great Wall thinking how nice and then slips and falls over n dies and there'd be no me (hence denying the world of a brilliant thinker like moi). If my grandma had not existed, my entire clan wouldnt be around, my uncles and aunts (those who married my clan) would have married other people. Does that mean there is more than 1 person for everyone then? Or would they then not have gotten married? Would the bachelorettes today be happily married women if say some guy 10,000 years ago did not die due to a stray arrow and thus his descendant today is that handsome guy who this is married to the current bachelorette? Little did some ancient king know that by 1 simple declaration of war, he created an immense social problem 200 years down the road.

Isnt it cool? Humans, history, evolution, social problems, all somehow connected by an existing by invisible, subtle thread?

OK, what the heck happened to my work hard til 7 mantra...better get started on it already and stop dreaming..*shakes head*..immature indisciplined boy.

Making history now

Oyez Oyez! Hear ye hear ye. A Milestone! A milestone!

Today is, for the first time ever in the history of this blog, the day I updated my blog from the company, and not from home. Wow is that cool or what? Shut up, coz for me it is. I don't have Internet access rights at work coz apparently its not directly necessary for my day to day work (kind of true) so I've alwiz blogged from home or wherever. Anyway to cut a long story short, under the pretext of 'learning his stuff', I hijacked a colleague with Internet rights computer hah.

Oooh this is so cool. I tell u, lazing away on company time surfing the net or whatever can get addictive. But its v guilt inducing, so cannot do for long. Was driving in happily to work and listening to some of the songs in my ancient dust collecting collection aka Shawn Colvin, Marion Raven, Tamara Walker, M2M and Eurothymics.

And now my pea brain is bursting with nostalgia and watnot, so totally not in the mood for work. Grr...You know, people say money can't buy happiness. I disagree. Money can't buy love, can't buy completeness, but money CAN buy security, freedom, satisfy material (and hence many emotional) needs and wants, all of which are crucial subsets and necessities of the happiness equation. It'd be great if we could be financially wealthy enough to have that CHOICE, that option NOT to work or not to do our current jobs. We'd work there, we'd still do stuff, but thats coz of interest, or a need to remain sharp n feel useful, not out of need.

Something popped into my mind. We spend a shitload of hours commuting to and from work. If we drive, we are probably caught in a jam. If we took public transport, we probably spend time switching trains and busses and waiting for our connecting vehicle. Lets say a person spends an average of 1.5 hours a day travelling. Thats roughly 1.5 X 5 X 4 X 12 hours a year which, at this v conservative estimate, equates to 360 hrs a year purely sitting in the car controlling ur bladder and checking out chicks or 360 hours a year waiting at busstops n train stations while checking out chicks n controlling ur temper.

Thats a lot of time. We could do so much more. 360 hours, think about it! Thats 15 days, or 2 weeks of leave. We could listen to music I guess. Thats 360 hours of radio ad time. Some people spend even more time commuting. Hence it stands to reason either they work less hours or in order to maintain the hours, they have less time for self/family. So if I was a national level planner, I'd bloody well make sure I reduce commute time as much as possible and then more, in order to maximize efficiency and reduce the potential social problems caused by people having insufficient time for self/family.

As an aside, I have noticed for a while now, and this has v recently been corrobated by a colleague of mine (who is single & pretty, any suiters out there?) that men who don't work in technicalish jobs (i.e. engineering, the sciences, accounting, finance) are NOT men of few words. These people can most usually be found in Marketing (I have quite a lot of disdain for this discipline, which I shall justify in another post, but in the meantime, brickbats are welcome you low self esteem suckers), HR, some finance, and definitely word heavy/communications/PR/ type of jobs.

These people are just not efficient, and sit around debating this n that, calling for this meeting that meeting and talk talk talk. And simple things also need to call meeting. Why? These guys are a disgrace to my gender. Spoil the good name and rep I've been vigorously contributing to.

OK, its getting to the point where I'm rambling just to avoid going back to work. Its been 15 mins or so. Time to log off. Work hard...try to leave by 7...attend some social events from tonight til Sunday night...Viva la KL! Carpe diem, nail em all, thats what I say!

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Fuckwit need to sleep

[This part started on Wed night but not finished...]

You know what I miss?
Carlton Curry House on Nicholson Street. Man that house rocked big big time. I loved, absolutely go stark raving mad, go bonkers, over their lamb vindaloo and chicken madras. Not to mention
roganjosh. Butter chicken. #@$#@%#. And make that max spicy please. And their never ending free flow of yellow rice. I love that you can adjust the spiciness. I love the curry on the rice. I love the yellow rice. I love the
everything. But you know what I miss most of all?

I miss going there with my gf, both of us eagerly and gluttonly looking forward to indulging in huge helpings of
curry rice, and halfway thru, looking up at her, and quietly enjoying her face of utter pleasure eating, pink glowing cheeks, teary eyes, and red lips. I miss that. I miss the sparkling twinkle in her eyes when she is eating and happy like that. I miss feeling happy when I see those pink cheeks. I miss putting down my spoon n fork halfway and touching those warm cheeks and her looking up at me and giving me a dazzzling smile. And then looking down again promptly and attacking her vindaloo lamb again. And I refill her plate. Those were the days. Just seeing her
like that, so happy and well fed, made me even happier n hungrier.

And we'd stagger out in a drunken stupor, bellies exploding, lassi oozing out of our bellybuttons, filled til overflow, and we'd stumble over to Borders, read and digest, end up buying a book, heading home to her apartment, and...

Gosh...I want that lifestyle all over again. I'm just a sucker who doesnt want to grow up.

[And this part a few hours later continued...]

Mika - Grace Kelly - for the unintiated, u poor sods.

Fuck...its 2am, and I'm suffering from my usual bouts of insomnia, which will almost inevitably lead to another longgg day @ work...wake late, arrive late, rush, cant focus, keep nodding off, rush off as soon as possible wanting to go home and nap, reach home, suddenly not sleepy, want to seize the day...

Been lying in bed for 2 solid hours tossing n turning and trying to sleep and tried all sorts of therapy short of sex and still cant sleep and ended up my mind is runnning running running. Ok, perhaps if I expunge the topics from my mind here, I can finally get to sleep.


If you havent read such books as Confessions of an Economic Hit Man, get your hands on a copy of it. Theres a few more, but for this topic, the abovementioned book is the relevant one. In there he talks of how major US corporations hire a few guys to cook up figures that will lead to giant conglomerates controlling national governments by proxy and thus making these governments make policial decisions that favour the MNCs at the terrible expense of the local population. Its a great read boys and girls, so come on, expand your knowledge some ok? Anyway back to the point. 
Today's news mentions that Venezuela has gained back government control over its oil drilling and production.
This is great news. Finally, the battlers are winning. Here's to you Chavez.


It stands to reason (unless you are self deceptive or just plain blind) that Putrajaya, Cyberjaya and the likes are
all sub contracted out to bumi contractors. Prolly via cronyism. Without proper tenders, and due identification &
elimination processes. Where merit is not considered. Well guess what? I'm not fucking surprised then that the
goddamn pipes and ceilings and everything else are all breaking down...and lets not forget the fact that these buildings are very young. What a bunch of losers. The greatest indictment of their capabilities, staring them right
in the face.


I was in Phuket recently, as reg readers would well know. And while munching brekkie, CNN was showing. You know what? They were playing some reallly stupid stuff and passing it off as news. Celebrity gossips. A guy who ran away from jail. I mean, in the grand scheme of life, these are super trivial and mundane things. I don't give a shit about that crap. What I want to know is, what are the policies to curb poverty? Starvation? War? Employment? Inflation? I want real issues, real meat, bread and butter type stuff. Don't care about Anna Nicole Smith. And its not jus CNN. Its the local media too. Its like all these conglomerate controlled mediums are trying to sensationalize things, turning the mundane into news items via repeats and hype. Purposely feeding us inconsequential crap so none of us are aware of what a shit job the govt is doing. So we consider this as news. And no1 bugs the govt to explain why the fuck its doing such a shit job.


Finished work today (yep, I worked on a public hol, as usual) and raced home to change and off I went to the curve. Happily dressed in my Chang Beer sleeveless shirt, orange Bermudas, sneakers, sunglasses, I met Jit for a little alfresco drink and a chat. A good solid long 2 hour chat. Details shall be kept private. 


Decided to take my mum out for dinner. Glad I did it. She seemed happy.


Wow this is great. Suddenly want to sleep. Time to turn on the Krall..albeit softly.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

The great Phuket adventure Part 1 - Nightlife

Well, I am back!

And no, glad to report I am not dead. But I've got something to confess...

Hah! The last 2 post entries..were not done by me! While I was happily gallivanting away in Phuket, my friend was
impersonating me the whole time, writing my posts for me. On the whole she more or less got the details right,
even though I told her nothing. Pretty brilliant eh? No 1 picked up on it though..she must've done a good job.

If my blog readership increased during these few days...I might have to engage her full time. Haha.


Phuket is fun but it really depends on what kind of fun you are after. Lets start with the NIGHTLIFE eh. 

First up...the famous Thai girls..

...though there is a fair amount of uncertainty about whether they were born male or female...

...but these were definitely drag queens...except for the one in the blue miniskirt n pink handbag
coz her arms look kinda small for a guy..

Eventually due to the confusion and potential horrors involved in oggling at a male in disguise, I
was so put off that I no longer wanted to look at any male or female. And my friend tells me that
she heard that some of these crossdressing queens actually go home to their wives and families after work. WTF?! Talk about serious confusion and the risk of mixing up his roles. Does the wife knows that her husband is going out to be screwed and then coming home to screw her?

If ladyboys (ooh I picked up this.. the official lingo for anything cross dressed, trans or confused or in between) aren't your cup of tea, one can alwiz oggle at the numerous bar top dancers all over the place.

Some looked disinterested..

Some knew what dirty white men liked and strove to provide it again and again...

Others believed in quantity, quantity, quantity (and school uniformish attires)...

While others believed in what they perceive to be quality..

If bar top dancing, counter girls, ladyboys etc aren't up your alley, why not try out the A Go Go Bars, of
which there are PLENTY...

If sex sex and more sex is not whats on your mind, then great! You could be like me, interested in the Thai kickboxing. Knees, knuckles, fists, elbows, blood, hard hits, fast punches, flying kicks, wow! Unfortunately, 1 show will set you back slightly more than RM100. But its worth it, because there is real blood, real gore, and about 8 fights in total. But note the word show: some fights look a bit staged.You could get cheaper ones at stadiums like these...

Yea...Phuket nightlife! But..regardless of how hard you can never run from the sex sex sex that is so prominently lived..

You thought that was bad..? And then you turn the corner and you see a FULL PAGE poster ad.

But this is not so bad..when I first went to Phuket .. a bit less than 10 years ago...when it was much less commercialized and developed..I was accosted by transvesvites and worse, shown photos of sex scenes, some with implements, featuring even children. At least that is 
no longer happening.

No visit to Phuket is complete without a visit down Bangla street, where the most famous pubs clubs bars and everything in between rules.

They do have some nice bars.

OK..thats it for the first part...coming up next...DayTime activities!