Monday, March 03, 2008

Now we are here, now we are gone

As the GE draws near, and the inevitable resounding defeat of the Opposition once again looms large, it is being driven into me yet again the likely hopelessness and vicious downward spinning spiral that this country will sink into. This will likely be the trigger that pushes me deeper into the ‘have to leave this country soon’ mental zone. Although I hate to think of it as a rat deserting a sinking ship, I can’t help disassociating myself with such sentiments. Where previously while I was away, I was desperate to be home, and when I was home I was ecstatic, I had reached a point where I was fed up and ready to go. However, now that the hour draws near, it is without a lack of nostalgia and sentimentalism that I mentally prepare to leave.

Today, I…

Worked until about 1:15, drove to the nearby coffee shop which was a 5-min drive, ate while reading my book…always a pleasant experience, this. Moments of quiet solitude and being alone are much under-appreciated. So after eating, with time to spare, I hopped back into the car and continued with my book. After another 20-min reading session with the AC on at full blast, I drove back.

These fruitful lunches and sessions of quiet solitude to reflect on things and wallow in my immediate surroundings that are devoid of any pressures or other seemingly relentless demands would be much missed. As much as the being-alone is important, I guess the feeling that you’re never too out of place and hence somewhat belong, more so than say if you were surrounded by people of a different race, might play a part.

I think these sentiments were brought on by the couple of expatriate men sitting beside me, who were conversing about their life here, at a volume that I couldn’t help but overhear. Hearing them describe simple everyday things like popular local entertainment spots and everyday places that I take for granted was a refreshing perspective on life in KL, and of my potential future life in some other part of the world. It was entertaining and amusing to find them being delighted or shocked or surprised or appreciative of certain things that I have always taken for granted and that us locals would not bat an eyelash about. Sometimes, what we overlook, are really the little things that impresses others.

I wonder if perhaps the fact that I grew up with my own house, without a need to share, and always solidly rooted to more or less the same geographic area, has any influence or impact in my sentiments and opinions about leaving this country for good. I’ve noticed that people who have spent their life moving about never really develop much of a strong affiliation to any location, and are much more wont to be bitten by an extensive travel bug that makes it hard for them to settle in any one spot, although this is not to say that those of us who were brought up in an otherwise environment are not partial to extensive travel.

Well, time to stop day dreaming, lots of work to get done.

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