Self worth

Was told that peoples feeling of self worth is proportional to the feeling of worth placed upon them by people close to them who are important to them. psychiatrists said so. and that everyone needs outside reassurance, esp from ppl who mean the most to them.

I am currently feeling quite effed up. now, is it because the people who mean the most to me are not making me feel as if im worth much, or is it because i really am not worth much, or is it that i am weak and allow people to make me feel this way, and peoples sense of self worth shud remain intact regardless?

i think its a combo of all 3.

firstly, i have not been who i really am and what built me the confidence love trust n affections of others. and what i HAVE been, is quite slimey and hence it makes me feel like im not worth much coz i really didnt behave very well. hence, because i acted slimey, ppl treat me like im a piece of slime, which again contributes to my feeling of self worth taking another dent. then because psychiatrists say we all need outside reassurance from ppl who mean sthing to us hence my self worth took a further dent coz i am realistic and not vainly un self aware.

ah.

did joanne's sense of self worth diminish? did i take that away from her as well?