Happy Birthday!

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Listening to...Django Reinhardt-Guitares et violons Tziganes - Les yeux noirs

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I actually wrote the previous post some time ago but didn't really get round to posting it up until a day or 2 later..

SO!

I am officiallllllllllly 24! As of .. Thursday I said goodbye to 23. Looking back wistfully and longingly at the good ol #23. No running or hiding the fact now or masquerading behind the fact that it's not my birthday yet and the year don't count.

Gosh how FAST time flies.

And, as promised, this IS a continuation of the last post...lets compare my first photos as an officially 24 year old bugger trapped in a 14 year old mind.

Well...supposed to leave work earlier yesterday (Friday) as a reward for my average of 12-13 hours a day this week at work & the fact that its a FlyDay...would have loved to go The Curve and chill at Starbucks and Borders..sitting by the big windows and gazing at people trundling by innocently, oblivious to the fact that someone is watching their idiosyncracies..BUT NOOOO....work again destroyed all plans for a quiet day, and I ended up arriving home at 730 or so. Aish the agonies and angst that can be built up, I tell you...So then later on we went down to Top Hat for dinner. Been there a few times but never with them, so I was glad that most people praised the place. Its always nice when ppl appreciate it when you introduce something new to them.

Looking appropriately polite, instead of my usual animated self

Though our regular gang of Sheilas and Joes has dwindled significantly, the company of those who made the effort to come are in no way lessened. So a big thanks to those who took the trouble to tear themselves away and come out in the drizzly night. The rest who can't make it - those not in KL or tied up - thanks for the SMSes, presents, emails and RT, wat a heck of a soft toy!

My, my, such big eyes...

Jinn .. who has his own fan club..I remember back in high school when younger girls spied on us playing basketball coz they liked seeing him in action...

Don't la try to look innocent..

Thats him in his Cassanova mood..

Compare the above to us in 2004...I maintain he looks like Shannon Noll here.. can imagine him standing on the back of a sheep loading truck belting out "WHAATT ABBOOUT ME!! IT ISN"T FAIR!" while his hands are clenched into fists beside him...

The choc pudding is good la really...

Attested to by their greeeedy faces..

And nowdays, not only do we OPENLY WRITE our greetings in birthday cards, but we OPENLY READ what others wrote as well..whatever happened to the good ol days where we used to have elaborate surprises, treasure hunts, plays huh huh huh

Then, naturally, we adjourned upstairs to Top Room...I was asked by the others about the drinks...and I couldn't answer coz I've only ever had the wine b4 when I came..*shy* [so pretentious right Jo? Aishh...]..

Gina Palisades [surname wrongly spelt]..bassist has shoulders and arms that keep doing the Mexican wave as he plays, and the drummer strikes the right balance and never goes too loud and fast...they usually perform together, seen em a few times, and they really mesh well

I entered GIS in kindergarten, and stayed until I finished high school. Back in those days, we used to go to Jln Kia Peng where my kindergarten school was. It was a bungalow. Then we moved to another place (which has been converted into bungalows..how ironic.) And from memory, the inside and outside and even the driveway looked eeriely similar (from memory). I would swear that Top Hat used to be my kindergarten...coz someone told me that they converted it into many things b4 its latest incarnation as a restaurant. But my mother said "Aiya silly boy, they tore it down yonks ago and its now probably the lobby of some swanky condo lar!".

How sad...

BUT just imagine if it really was! I mean, as a little boy peering down from the top of The Balcony with my friend Bobby both of us pretending to be soldiers clutching our guns (plastic bendy rulers) shooting at other kids whom we hated (we were both deemed psychopathic misfit social outcasts - I think I still might am) as they alighted from their cars. And little did I know then that 20 years later I would be celebrating a b'day there.

Funny how Time works sometimes. U know u read those books n watch those movies and someone like accidentally steps through or walks through something and are transported back to that exact same place but 10 years ago.. and they can see their 10 year ago self doing there what he did, and the 10 year ago self can't see him. Wow...something like that book 'House on the Hill' (Year 7 Lit class) or that Kate & Leopold movie right at the end when Hugh Jackman goes back into that mansion...gives me the goosebumps..

The Balcony

Enough daydreaming....

Until next time...rock on.

Chronicles of growth...

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Now playing..."Rurouni Kenshin - Parting (piano)"

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I never asked to be born. But I was. And I was literally dragged kicking out of the soft lazy comforts of the womb to the world. Well, if you were bald, couldn't speak, fat, red, needed to be fed, suffered the indignity of having ur privates exposed to the world, had no control over your lavatorial functions, and were to start a life of hard work n toil, would you not come bawling as well? How to appear cute?!
It all started with an act of copulation b/w 2 very plain looking people (which explains my painfully plain self).

And then there was me. At first I was a normal baby. Then I refused to drink milk or eat or whatever. Pretty soon I had grown into a malnourished little boy.

Thats me in the red white ensemble staring at the camera trying to unhook my lower jaw

Then I grew. Then I stopped growing. Well in between, I don't have softcopy photos anymore and maybe I will scan em one day. Eventually, I ended up like this:

Taken at school camp in Yr 7

And this:

Year 7 KKB Camp

Ahh the disgruntled look of youth...

Somehow, against all expectations, I continued not to grow...

This is in Yr 8..Young Dynamic Explorers Camp at Awana

Well I shall skip you the year by year growth (not much of it) chart torture. We shall fast forward..

And so here I am..in 2001, deciding that no, being vain out of necessity (darn, plain parents) is NOT an embarassing hide in closet secretly put cucumber on eyes kinda thing...and its NOT GAY.


Then, my sister got married! To her beau of like, 10 years...

Sister's wedding 2003.. must look appropriately fierce so nobody dares to bully her

Aish...the duties of a brother.

And then I graduated...

Can spot me? No fringe..cheapskate Melb uni no Hat! For those who suspect whether I do possess a tertiary qualification...here u go!

Then 2005 rolled around...which caught me slobbing through life...

Dimsum on a cold winter morning, Scholars only

And just before leaving Melbourne, decided to go around taking some photos..

St Kilda Road..the last go round b4 leavin'

Aish...the good ol carefree times

IJ! Ah...good ol IJ...

[2006] And the latest reincarnation:

I AM BACK IN KL!

At Cathay Cineleisure just after it opened..b4 the crowds, the graffiti was what really stood out..so nice to see M'sia embrace this stuff for a change, n giving our graffiti artists a place to legally showcase their works..S'pore is way ahead of us here

[Sept] Company treasure hunt - my team..(honestly? if everyone played fair we would have gotten a podium spot lar!)


And..most of the (then) workgang..


As I look back over the photos...I can see the change coming over me..maybe its coz i know myself best... but theres the younger/more naive version slowly looking more jaded and guarded. ANYWAY...this post is supposed to LEAD into the next post...which is coming up..!

Buying Porn?

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1 of my favourite jokes...been telling it the last 1 year...the imagery never fails to make me laugh

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Q: Whats the difference between sensual and kinky?







A: Sensual is when you use one chicken feather. Kinky is when you use the whole chicken!

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I went out on an all-male guys night out last Friday, and after that went to our secret place which we have been frequenting for about 2 years now, but is getting increasingly popular:


for supper. Though their nasi lemak, fried chicken etc are nice as well, we of course ordered their most popular dish:

After that we headed across the road to indulge in another favourite Malaysian past time besides late night mamak stalls - browsing through DVDs. So we browsed through some DVDs.
I chose 2. A few of my other friends chose a couple more. Then we gave the whole stack to the storeman to calculate how much. We figured buying enbloc would create a mini economies of scale and allow us to get the discs for cheaper. So the guy was lifting up each disc from our pile and then putting it into a new pile as he looked through what we had, to tally it up. So he went RM5, RM8, RM10, RM12, RM6 etc..as he lifted through The Devil Wears Prada, The Banquet, Lost, and..

then suddenly he lifted up a porn disc.

I was like err uncle ah this must be a mistake thats not ours hehe u can take it out. then my friend who had been strangely and unnaturally quiet n fidgety all along suddenly piped up in a very malu way eh heh heh uncle mine mine nvm jus count la heh heh and he avoided looking at us. so the uncle continued to count la so i was like hmm wtf?!

then after that the uncle was like ok total RM1xx.

I was like wah uncle here got X # of discs at average RM xx each total how come so much?

then the uncle went through our pile searching for something and took out the porn disc.

"ahh young man, this disc hoh, very expensive one...RM25."

"wat!? wa uncle, y so ex?"

"ahh..heh heh [perverted grin] this one right is category 4 one! very lei hoi. u sure never see b4 this kind.'

then i look for my friend ' eh u still want meh? dowan la brother'

my friend was looking at his shoes n suddenly seemed very interested in the tiling pattern on the floor as he mumbled yes yes wan...

then i was like ok watever man then turned to the uncle n go wah uncle we buy so much give discount wei..

then he held the disc up high high, hekd it at arms length, squinted at it and was like uhh okay la since u all so leng chai i give u RM20!

then i looked ard for my friend right...and he wasnt there.. but i SAW A LOT OF AUNTIE UNCLE N LITTLE KIDS ALL ALTERNATELY OGGLING AT DISC/US.

damn malu ok. so we quickly wrapped it up paid n fled.

first time i was ever involved in buying of porn.

anyway so a few days later we met up again and i asked my friend.

'dude so how was ur super expensive super category 4 extreme porn? paid so much must be damn crazy is it. how is it?'

'wat la #@$#@$@##@ lousy #$##$@ wat the #$#@ kena conned la #$#@ when i play it hoh, all the critical parts all blur not clear wan! all pixelated!'

karma, baby.

Argh! It happened again!

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Am I the only one who think that those short bulky guys using those new ab curling benches and doing it fast look like little toads on morphine?

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Argh it happened again!

Went to the gym last night after work to run off some unhappiness...and then...went upstairs (this is at FF @ The Curve) to get some leg exercises done. So I am sitting there about to start my routine and I hear a loud, well timed "UHHH". I'm like WTF? So I ignored it and started my routine...a couple of reps in, another "UUHHHHH"...and now I'm like thinking "ok mate, pipe down, stop clamoring for attn and show off ur manly primitive vocal inclinations"..then he goes UHHH again. Well, when I completed my reps I got off the machine and subtlely turned to glance..at this guy uhh-ing away.

Well.

There we go again. People who just don't seem to get it - do not make guttural sounds in public!

And if you have big arms and shoulders but still wear tight tops, consider working on ur midsection! Else you just look like a huge chunk of potentially-bullet proof human.

Then theres the nutcase egomaniac who thinks he is ultra strong, piles on a shitload of weights, and when everyone is happily into their set, concentrating, a LOUD CRASHING METAL sound will jolt everyone and distract everyone and prolly make some of us jump right out of our skins aka Calvin (in Calvin n Hobbes). Hello!? If cannot lift, dont show off la! Pile on what you can comfortably do... don't do 6, 7, and then halfway on the 8th and then 1 quarter on the 9th time and then just let go and send the whole contraption crashing down.

So inconsiderate.

1 more thing about M'sian gym goers.

Why oh why do we NOT bring along A PERSONAL TOWEL? For christsakes, you. do. not. have. million. dollar. sweat.

Please place a towel between you and the machine cushion ok? Let the towel absorb some of ur sweat n grime.

And 1 more thing - I recommend we use gloves.

Why?

Well, when people grab onto those antifriction bars, the roughness of it scrapes off the skincells on ur palms which hey presto promptly stays on the bars. Who knows which and how many dirty sweaty bugger's palm's skin cells (and you do not want to know where he has been scratching) are all over the bar, and you proceed to come n leave some of your own while picking up others'..

Sharing ain't caring my friends.

How I Long...

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Currently Listening To: Pavarotti - Ave Maria

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Ahhh...

There's nothing like letting Pavarotti's voice wash all over the house, filling every nook and cranny, while I sit there with shut eyes and let myself feel lifted off and carried away ... letting the music poke, prod, and force its way through into every atom of me and scrape out and wash away all the unpleasant stressed feelings of being overworked...

Really, what beats music as the ultimate form of tension reducing, soothing and free therapy?

I have always said, since I moved here slightly over a year ago to this new house, that I want to spend an afternoon sitting on the couch in the living room near the big sliding doors, and look out into the meagre garden behind, and enjoy that whole view and sensation. Finally I'm doing it! I shall add a small water fountain, a hammock, some more of those smooth rounded stones on the ground, and try to create a more Zen like feel. But its hard with limited space.

Last night went to Starbucks again but this time went to the one at MK, which I've never been to before, to meet a friend. Did not want to bother her, so kicked back with a book she lent me. As I sat there, with the soft lights, quiet buzz of people talking around me, comfortable, tired, contented, and the sounds of a water fountain splashing discreetly in the background, I suddenly felt quite peaceful. It had been a somewhat turbulent day. But that moment reminded me of a time in my youth when I was suddenly seized by this insane and insuppressable urge to release the demons in me by using creativity as an outlet, hence, writing. I would feel this whizbang of thoughts, and then, I would just sit down there and bang away on the keyboard not budging moving eating sleeping for hours and hours until I had the piece just right. Isn't that weird? AND, the products were not particularly good, nor did they scream out that they were obviously spawned by the mind of a genius. Anyway, the fun was in getting the whizbang out into text. It's like, you have these thoughts, but you can't just throw it out, so you create and weave a proper story in which these thoughts get to slowly seep into the story and gradually make their own way out from the head into text.

Wait.. as usual.. I have digressed. So I used to go out and take long walks to seek inspiration. And sometimes I'd walk to the stream near my house, and sit there, listening to the gurgling sounds of the stream, some unknown making a splash as it reentered the water, a frog croaking, the yellow streetlamp, the total silence and isolation at night, and if I stopped thinking long enough and just sat there, some weird random thoughts would inevitably flutter by, chance upon an idiot sitting by the stream oblivious to snakes n watnot, and decide to create some havoc in this idiot's life by entering his mind (its a vacuum I tell u, plenty of empty space, perfect for sucking in random, passing by dumb thoughts). And this whoever sent this thought would lean back and shake with laughter as this idiot gets taken ahold of by the idea, leaps up and goes (AH HA!) and runs off.

Perhaps 1 day when I feel braver I shall post up 1 or 2 of those stories..but I'd have to be seriously drunk or grow another 2 layers of skin on my face.

A Musical Blog...

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Listening to: Suzanne Ciani - Anthem

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Always read the fine print. This is the fine print. Please do not proceed unless you are a music afficionado. If you do not count yourself as one, pray stop reading and go and do something with your time that would make you happier than reading the below.

Words make you think a thought.
Music makes you feel a feeling.
A song makes you feel a thought.

- EY Harburg (Edgar Yipsel) 1898 - 1981

Ahh...how meaningful. And true. Music; the right song at the right time, can so swiftly transport us to a place in the annals of our memories, into our dreams of the future, into our dreams and imaginations...the power to make us laugh, cry, become 16 again, feel inspired, feel sad, feel pumped up. So powerful it has been used in all sorts of situations to provoke and create an emotion. From Mao's Red Guards propaganda, to movie themes, in romantic restaurant settings, to military pride, from funerals, to weddings, to proposals...

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Music expresses that which cannot be put
into words, and that which cannot remain
silent.

Victor Hugo

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Have you ever felt like feeling something, but not being able to express in words what this something is, and you hear a song, and you go, thats exactly it! Last night, I was at Alexis at Jln Ampang [more on that in future posts] when my companions talked about love, and the convo drifted to how I knew I loved my gf. Well, love is a very deep and wide topic, studied debated pondered experienced doubted hoped over the last few millenia. I am not so pompous as to claim an understanding of the subject - I would fail abjectly, and, I do not understand the subject as well as I would like to. I myself have many reasons for daring to claim that I like my gf very much, and what I felt to be as close to that 4 letter word as it can get. But back to music. So when they asked me, one thing that fluttered through my birdbrained mind was that Elvis Presley song, Are You Lonesome Tonight. Of course, it was a bit too embarassing (I have ego issues but I am honest see) to admit this publicly. But it got me thinking...how me and her have 'our' songs, and things like that. I think, well, if we are no longer together, how would I feel, how would I be able to take it? Well, this one isn't an 'our' song, but when I hear it, it comes pretty close to how I would describe what I'd feel in the above situation.

Are you lonesome tonight,
Do you miss me tonight?
Are you sorry we drifted apart?
Does your memory stray to a brighter sunny day
When I kissed you and called you sweetheart?
Do the chairs in your parlor seem empty and bare?
Do you gaze at your doorstep and picture me there?
Is your heart filled with pain, shall I come back again?
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?

I wonder if youre lonesome tonight
You know someone said that the worlds a stage
And each must play a part.
Fate had me playing in love you as my sweet heart.
Act one was when we met, I loved you at first glance
You read your line so cleverly and never missed a cue
Then came act two, you seemed to change and you acted strange
And why Ill never know.
Honey, you lied when you said you loved me
And I had no cause to doubt you.
But Id rather go on hearing your lies
Than go on living without you.
Now the stage is bare and Im standing there
With emptiness all around
And if you wont come back to me
Then make them bring the curtain down.

Is your heart filled with pain, shall I come back again?
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?

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Pause.

*Regains composure*

OK. Anyway. I am listening to Suzanne Ciani now. Some of her better ones are Anthem, Italia, Mozart, Berceuse, & The Velocity of Love. And it just got me all emo all of a sudden. See, back when I first arrived in Melb (Feb 2000), at the tender age of 17, almost right out of high school, I was in this period of 'like-to-be-by-myself-for-long-stretches-of-time-to-think' phase. And, for a whacko kid who was undergoing rapid change mentally physically and in new surroundings etc (being not a very particularly articulate kid - still am not) I dealt with my don't-know-how-to-handle emotions the best way I knew (then) how. I turned to music, majorly. So Suzanne Ciani brings back memories of me, fresh, naive n untainted, after dinner, sitting alone in the little patio outside my little room, in the night, with the soft yellow light, in the dark night of winter, pondering this and that.

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Where words fail, music speaks.

Hans Christien Anderson

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Its interesting sometimes, how long forgotten (pushed deep back into the far recesses of the mind to clear up memory for more immediate everyday usage requirements) memories [how ironic - you clear up memory for memories by deleting memories] can be summoned up like that *snaps fingers*.

When I hear songs, especially the main theme (John Barry), of the OST from Out of Africa, I get goosebumps. I see, in front of me, as if I am viewing in the third person, me, 16 years old, hearing it for the first time, sitting side by side with my best friend in his house, sitting relaxed, arms clutching the chairs, heads leaned back, eyes shut, just soaking and basking in it. And I am struck by how innocent we used to be, and when I think back to all that we have both encountered, and where we both are now, I physically feel my heart ache a little bit for the lost innocence. I miss that part of my life. I miss that friendship we had. I must take some responsibility for allowing things to change. But change they must, for WE change. But he has always been, STILL is, and will always remain, my best friend.

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Great music is that which penetrates the ear with facility
and leaves the memory with difficulty. Magical music
never leaves the memory

Sir Thomas Beecham

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Another good one is the OST from Last of The Mohicans. THIS is one you ABSOLUTELY cannot miss. I was reminded of it when I read a friend's blog today. Good taste, N. Get the Celtic Instrumental, Enya-Promontory, and James Horner's theme.

This James Horner, he is everywhere! If you can, get his themes for Bicentennial Man, Braveheart (I bet the movie is half as good without the OST) and Legends of the Fall (the beginning is to die for..it is so good that even its ahbeng-techno-fied version is decent).

- - - - - - - -

If we don't talk about musical teleportation through time, and just letting ourselves soak in the sounds...you won't be far off the mark with the Three Tenors. Andrea Bocelli is not far behind, but just listen to his version of the aria Nessun Dorma of Puccini's Turandot and compare it to Pavarotti's. Seriously, Nessun Dorma itself is a masterpiece regardless by who, but Luciano's is a slight class above; his voice, and.. I won't go into it. This is subjective, and I'm sure you can draw your own tastes.

But like good food, where you bring your friends to go to to share in heavenly gastronomical delights, good music must be shared too. "Volare", a classic, sounds good by the Gypsy Kings' Latin version. Very good in fact. But for a different, operatic, and just as good take, listen to Pavarotti's version. His pronunciation of 'Volare..ohhh'...phooey. Another one would be Le Donna E Mobile, also by him.

Ahh the power of music.

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Music is the outburst of the soul

Frederick Deluis

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Can just sit back in the chair in the dark room.. air cond... a glass of my fav dessert wine [Brown Brothers Orange Muscat], head thrown back...and letting the sounds wash over me. THIS is why you invest in a good sound system.

Did you watch Diane Lane and Oliver Martiniez and Richard Gere in 'Unfaithful'?

Disturbing as the show was [but DL looked pretty good for a 36 year old!], there is a song there that is really good, and perfect for, um, setting 'moods'. Love the track...its called 'Ai Du' by Ali Farke Toure.


Back in Melbourne, after a hard day's work, coming home, dimming the lights, pouring myself a drink (Whisky on ice preferably, a habit I picked up during university where I often stayed up alone late into the night in my room trying to make the programming coding more elegant) isolating myself from the world, and sitting at my window with my feet out, maybe having a smoke or 2... those were the moments...playing my tracks...another good one is 'Mondo Bongo' by Joe Strummer & the Mescaleros (from Mr & Mrs Smith OST) and 'Lay Lady Lay' by Magnet.

OK I have revealed some of my all time favourites..there's more but I should go to sleep now. Its 12am, I got some work to prepare for tomorrow, and I have to wake at 6am in order to get to work for something.. but its OK..sharing is caring.. = )

To be continued...

Good Mood Post

Many, many years ago...

My aunt: (to my cousin)..Here, Y, eat this.. its good for you.. (hands Y a small tub of yogurt..the natural, plain originals)
Cousin: Whats that..why white white one...(eyes yogurt suspiciously)
Aunt: Yogurt la...small boy don't ask so much.. just eat.
Cousin: OK..
Aunt walks away...5 mins later...she walks back..sees Y sitting in front of TV, no sign of yogurt..
Aunt: Wah! Y! Wheres your yogurt.. how can so fast you finish the whole tub!
Cousin: (screws up face) Ya la! Yuck man! The whole tub I threw away already!
Aunt: HAH! THROW! Expensive ok! Why!
Cousin: Spoilt already la! All sour sour one!

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ahh... found that quite funny la...yogurt IS sour!

haha! today woke up with the intention of going in to work...all the way til...whenever...no limit.. end up..dilly dally..procrastinate.. tempted by the joys of life...the myriad material trappings that life has to offer..so ended up meeting some friends for lunch...banana leaf (again!). ahh..but will try to make it into work later.

well yesterday (Sat) I really wanted to go back to work in the morning...spend the whole day there...but I had a really late night the night b4...so I woke kinda late.. dilly dally a bit.. by the time I left home... it was drizzling...a few minutes later...it POURRRED. and I saw the road leading to work being jammed. SO, with all these weak and flimsy excuses, I made a spur of the moment to head towards my current FAVOURITE weekend hangout, which, incidentally, is about the distance of the length of one coldplay song (beautiful world) from my home. love it!

ahh...whatever i want, ITS there! ok, upstairs, got And 1. downstairs, got Borders. Starbucks. Fitness First. Myriad of interesting alfresco options. Sushi. various craft stores. what else would i need? and at night theres Cineleisure (I love this place, with its lighting and the visually pleasing and refreshing graffiti downstairs) & Laundry (which has grown by leaps and bounds...when it first opened, there wasn't that many people, and definitely very little Chinese...starting to gain a rep which is a far cry from today...we could get seats anytime...then...the owners did some great things...bringing in local acts for gigs..and now it has attracted a vast clientele of all sorts and table availability is a scarce commodity indeed.. which is understandable once their crowd includes aunties uncles and kids). oh saw something interesting in the curve yesterday...apparently.. they built this glass thingie n made ppl pass away time in there and ppl can watch them from outside...


quite interesting but i looked for 2 seconds then decided not to look on la..but i canont imagine or understand why ppl are willing to be inside, gawked n gaped at... i personally might feel a little degraded...but no offense to those who are sporting enough to go ahead with it...kudos to you, u did what i cant do.


So after another lazy weekend afternoon of Borders, Starbucks, etc, I felt much more rejuvenated and ready to brave another week of work. Ahh...why the weekend pass soooo fast?!

Then as I drove home...it was still raining...and..my discman was playing Coldplay's Beautiful World.

Which brought back an onslaught of memories from my days as a student in Melbourne.. ahh..good old Melbourne, land of fashionistas, pastas, fajitas, chivas, pinadas.... Anyway yea, u know how a song or a moment could just sooo transport you back very definitively to a point in your past? Well..back in those days.. I used to cycle (usually after my Oracle lectures) to Citybaths. When it was winter, it would be dark already, sometimes drizzling, and I loved the short bike ride when I felt so free and happy (lectures over for the day) and could pedal off swiftly into the dark with my raincoat over my head and Beautiful World blaring (not too loud - safety afterall, must be observed and not entirely neglected!) in my ears. From the point I pedalled off into the rain soaked night til I arrived at Citybaths would be about the same time as it took for the song to finish, and I would be, accurate as clockwork, locking my bike outside the Baths as the song wound up. So since this moment was soo similar, I decided to capture it forever on video (cameras next to you is very handy).

But stupid Blogspot won't allow me to friggin upload short videos!!!

Commercial Blogs: Pure or Unpure?

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Currently listening to: Ella Fitzgerald -Whatever Lola Wants

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Ok. Was chatting to a friend, when the conversation drifted to commercial blogs.

This is my thing with blogs. Either you wanna go commercial and try to use your blog to generate some extra income/revenue, or, you completely go non commercial.

If you say that you are going to have a blog that you hope will generate some income, yet you claim to be COMPLETELY honest in it, and have no filtering whatsoever, I don't believe.

Why?

A commercial blog generates income based on one and only one criteria - traffic. If you got the traffic, you have the clout to place adverts, free trials, whatever...

A non commercial blog has no expectations and the only person it has to please is the blogger.

As such this non commercial blogger can truly say anything and everything he/she wants and feels, and blog about topics which is highly unlikely to generate a shitload of traffic.

Whereas the commercial blogger will blog in such a way, and/or blog about topics, that preferably would entertain/amuse/hook people so as to keep em returning. I am not saying he CREATES or INVENTS stuff or wat... all I am saying is, he goes through an internal filter system to sort of.."is this stuff reader-friendly? will it drive away readers? will it retain them? does it make them laugh?" and will emphasize putting on his blog whatever that will generate him that publicity and mass appeal, and sticks to safe topics more or less. So it is highly unlikely that he just goes OK I FEEL LIKE CRAP TODAY THAT m#@$#@$ #$# #@$$#@ blah blah... he wouldn't.

Hmm... ok lazy to go on.

Adios amigos.

[now THATS a non commercial blogger!]

Female friends with benefits

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Currently listening to: Phil Collins & Genesis - Wish it would rain down

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Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally Albright: Why not?
Harry Burns: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally Albright: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: You only think you do.
Sally Albright: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry Burns: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: How do you know?
Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally Albright: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally Albright: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?
Harry Burns: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally Albright: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.
Harry Burns: I guess not.
Sally Albright: That's too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York.

>

---

Just got back from a quick lunch round the corner with a friend. Another interesting conversation...

My friends of the fairer sex have a common lament. "Why do my guy friends eventually go after me or confess their love? Why can't we be just friends without complicating things? It sucks.. because usually after being rejected, they slink away with tail between their legs, and would you believe it, some even have the cheek to resent me after that! It's not my fault I don't like them that way!"


Dear me. I just want to say 2 things on this beautiful Saturday, sunny shiny morning.

One

There are many guys out there who despite their bravado (sharper girls can see right through this bravado and recognize it for what is is - macho BS) secretly don't have much female friends, much contact with females, females who treat them in a way that is not neutral, with low self esteem, etc etc. There are many girls out there who naturally try to be nice and friendly to everyone. To them, it is a matter of being well brought up and cordial, nothing that they went to the extra mile to do for a guy. Sometimes of course, she values this friendship and is willing to go that extra mile to help someone out. Now, to the abovementioned vulnerable guys, since girls acting in a way that is not neutral and not negative is a rare occurrence, they immediately think:


1. No girl treat me like that b4.
2. But this girl treat me so good.
3. I only treat a girl extra good if I at least sort of want her or don't mind that idea.
4. Meaning this girl sort of wants me or doesn't mind that idea.
5. Meaning I got chance!
6. Meaning no need to fear rejection and ego damage!
7. Meaning I should go for it and give it a shot!
8. And so I will! Then he goes n tries.


Now the poor girl, who was just being cordial friendly and nice to everyone, suddenly receives the shocker. Then she has to gently reject him. And so he continues..

9. OK I've been rejected. That wasn't so pleasant. *rubs massages n soothes ego*
10. Hmm...but I thought she liked me. Based on her behaviour to me.
11. Why she mislead me?!
12. *Resent* [slinks away, and in many cases, fship stops here] So the poor girl, feels a bit upset. Why so unfair wan? Just friends only mah! Just being nice! I never treat him super duper extra good compared to how I treat others! And now I am being blamed and sort of need to tone down? What the heck? Always like this...sheesh.


Ahh...
- - - - - - - -


Ladies and gentlemen...such is the ways of the world, usually, unless you meet a guy sensible enough to recognize when a girl is being nice to everyone, and EXTRA NICE to SOMEONE. And if he had misunderstood and misread the signals, to grow up, absorb, and continue la. What for lose a great friend over your own silly pride and insecurities (which have probably been exacerbated). See, if we only open up our eyes more, theres so much to be gained having friends from both genders!



Having guy friends:

- Someone to eat with, any time of day (KFC? bananaleaf rice? n wouldn't look at you in horror going but darling, thats 1345 calories!)
- Someone to play sports with, any time of day
- If you can't finish your food, he cleans it up gratefully
- Someone to walk you to your car
- Offers a diff perspective on situations
- Can be an idiot and provide lots of laughs
- Quite generous with $ and not too calculative
- Knows how to goes places
- Alcohol on demand
- Use him to meet potential mates
- Can swear to your heart's content and we'd still be proud of you
- Can indulge in ur weird habits like spitting distance contests (yep S, referring to you here)

And having girl friends (from personal experience)

- Someone you can hand write a letter too and not get laughed at and the letter photostated and passed to all ur guy friends for laughs (az your letters were beautiful..I still got them all..those I haven't lost)
- Someone who can go shopping with you and offer opinions
-provided she has good taste (thanks HG!!!)
- Always willing to share food they cooked when I have nothing to eat (CW..u shud b a chef)
- Someone to boost my ego by losing to me in sports (hey HG, u again!)
- Someone to listen to my myriad ramblings n emo stuff (thats most of u, thks)
- Someone to tolerate sudden outbursts of emo without getting the guys all looking at u or weird and then suddenly inching away from you (again, most of you)
- They always remember your birthdays and make it a point to give you a memorable birthday..i've had everything from an expensive guitar, a painting, books, clothes, shoes all the way to handsewn soft toys (the GIS girls in melb..u were the best - really, truly) - They never hesitate to lend you their stuff and are always happy to share recipes with you proudly (ja..ur bulgogi is almost always a roaring success)
- Provide a refreshingly different perspective and opinion (ALL of you)
- Help me realize my weaknesses and make me grow (yep jo, u evil witch but thank you) - Make me laugh at their blurness (esp when they start hair twirling or stare at one spot unblinkingly with a stoning far away look). - Accompanying me to places to enjoy them that I can't go to with guys (KL, AS, W, E..) and not feeling awkward and going on and on with me into the night.

Wow..suddenly feel a dash of emo-ness...and a sudden sense of exteme guilt at not being nicer to them..must not take them for granted.. must not... must not...very grateful and lucky indeed. How to be a better friend to them? Must try.. must try...

Az n JA..10 years n still going strong..(apprpriately blur to retain anonymity)
BC..almost 10 years..from babies to adults
melb would have been lesser w/o you..and those still there..quickly come back!
k...enough pics.

Can guys & girls be 'just friends'?

---

Harry Burns: Would you like to have dinner?... Just friends.
Sally Albright: I thought you didn't believe men and women could be friends.
Harry Burns: When did I say that?
Sally Albright: On the ride to New York.
Harry Burns: No, no, no, I never said that... Yes, that's right, they can't be friends. Unless both of them are involved with other people, then they can... This is an amendment to the earlier rule. If the two people are in relationships, the pressure of possible involvement is lifted... That doesn't work either, because what happens then is, the person you're involved with can't understand why you need to be friends with the person you're just friends with. Like it means something is missing from the relationship and why do you have to go outside to get it? And when you say "No, no, no it's not true, nothing is missing from the relationship," the person you're involved with then accuses you of being secretly attracted to the person you're just friends with, which you probably are. I mean, come on, who the hell are we kidding, let's face it. Which brings us back to the earlier rule before the amendment, which is men and women can't be friends.

---

Can males and females ever be platonic friends? That was an interesting question I found myself pondering last weekend over drinks with some friends (mixed genders). Females with guy friends, do you honestly think that all of them are just friends with you because of your wonderful friendship? And all they want is just to be friends? Nothing else? And guys, all of you just want to be friends with your female friends, and nothing else?
Really?

What if that female friend suddenly gained 20kg, developed a terrible complexion, and various other physically/aesthetically unattractive features? Lets face it, all of us - looks matter.

Its a tough question.

Personally I must admit, guys definitely categorize girls when we first meet them. There is the "Would like to/want to screw", "Great if can screw but cannot also its OK", "Don't mind screwing but definitely not on hit list", "Errr...don't want to screw", and "Hell no! Free also no thanks". Note that in these initial few seconds, the word screw is prominently featured. However, the first few seconds aside, other judgements are made. "Eyer, don't want to know her better, just ignore from now on", "Something not quite right about her, so will just be cordial if paths cross", "Hmm...OK la.. not sure one way or other so if get to know her better also don't mind, if don't also don't mind", "Seems like a nice friendly great intelligent girl...would like to get to know her better", "What an absolute angel! Would love to know her better".

So, all these opinions can be in any combination, and whichever spot I initially categorized her as is not fixed, not locked in, and can be moved around. A girl who progressively displays a great character actually starts to LOOK better, and a girl who progressively displays a SHIT character starts to look shitter. At the end of the day, her character is the 1 overriding determinant, in fact, the ONLY & SOLE determinant for whether or not I want to continue keeping in touch with her. Her looks won't matter if she is a bitch coz then suddenly she seems very disgusting. But if she is great personality wise, her looks won't even register.


I have female friends on the entire spectrum. There are the ones who attract lots of attn from the opposite species, and theres the ones who don't. The ones who beat away suitors who don't get discouraged nontheless. But as far as I am concerned, a friend is a friend because of what kind of friend they are, not how they look. If I have a female friend, it means I enjoy her companionship, I respect her, I like hanging out with her, I think she has a brilliant mind, and I have a great time hanging out with her. And thats about it. I admit, when I was younger, of course looks played a part. But as I grew older, like I said, bitchy girls look real bitchy and intolerable. So looks became more and more irrelevant.

If I wanted to go after someone, I would do it in a way that would not make me get treated as merely her 'friend'. If I allowed someone to treat me as a friend and nothing more, it means that that is exactly the way I want her to treat me because that is exactly how I see her. If I see a girl as not-just-friends material, why the hell would I act in a way that allows her to treat me as merely a friend? That way, I would never get into her "hmm..lets consider him" books, and remain just a friend - exactly not what I want!

I myself have had close friendships with female friends, many of them, while maintaining my own rship on the side. I guess knowing I have my own rship reassures my female friends that I am not out with the intention of getting into their pants, but merely to enjoy their company. Of course, sometimes in the friendly course of conversation, the banter strays into harmless innuendos and jokes which are just for fun.

However, lets explain the general truth out there.

For girls:

My theorem.

1. Don't want anything to do with this guy
2. Will never ever go out with him, and not particularly enamoured to his friendship, but doesnt mind him tagging along. Can tolerate, quite neutral.
3. Quite a nice person, enjoys his presence in a group.
4. Nice person, definitely can be friends.
5. Can be good friends, and wouldn't mind knowing them better.
6. Very nice/interesting person, want to know them better.

It ends there.

But, they have a whole separate criteria for another list. Potential mates.

1. Definitely want this guy! Rich, handsome, nice...wow! (Tries to scheme...)
2. Would definitely not mind going out with this guy to see how he is like...quite good conditions .
[1&2 prerequisites: at least decent levels of niceness, richness and handsomeness]
3. Everything also good enough but $ wise not quite there but looks promising because he has the right attitude and potential for a good career. Attractive.
4. Not quite there yet, either lacking in looks or $, though nice. Well, just in case I never meet a 1,2 or 23 I better hang on to this guy as a backup plan.
5. Wah...need to make drastic improvements to niceness/richness/$ in order to make more impact.
6. Out of radar range, no chance: falls into Friends category again.

For guys:

1. I want to screw you. So I shall go after you directly.
2. I like your character. But I want to screw you. So I shall go after you directly.
3. I want to screw you. But cannot make obvious. So shall first try to become your friend. Then bide my time and wait for chance. If after a time period cannot, then forget it.
4. I like your character. But I want to screw you. But cannot make obvious. So will bide my time and be your friend first. Then remain friends until got opportunity to strike. But this 'waiting period' is very short. After a time, will try to start a relationship - basically 'I LOVE YOU. DO YOU LOVE ME?'. If answer is no, this guy basically lacks confidence and maturity, sticks his tail between his legs, and slinks off, perhaps even silently [& unreasonably] pissed off at girl.
5. Theres more but I'm lazy to type so lets just jump to the last few main types.
6. Never think of you that way but hey if can screw, will screw.
7. I think you have a great character. Would love to be friends with you. Yes you might look good, yes you might not look good but who cares. The laughs and stimulating conversations we have are what makes you so valuable to me.
8. Butt ugly character and person, stay away.

Ahh...ruffled a few feathers huh. If you thought so and so merely wanted to be friends [claims my female friends who swear that they have male friends who just want to be friends], you may be right. But chances are, he has something else on his mind [claims my male friends, who do not have female friends whom they don't want to screw]. Do the maths. But since yours truly does have female friends who he does not intend to try and screw, I think it is only fair to say that this phenomena that girls claim, just might be true - rare, but true.

And this leads to some arguments within relationships. The girl claims that so and so is just a friend, treats her as just a friend, and thus, its OK to go out for drinks with him alone. Even if this guy also fetches her here n there, pays for her drinks etc. The boyfriend can see through the other guy's smokescreen and goes "No way! No guy does anything that does not lead to a possible screwing!". If the girl denies this, she is either REALLY naive n dumb n self deceptive and needs to grow up damn quick (what the hell for the bf want a girl like that?! must be bf cum babysitter,] pretending to be dumb on purpose (the catchall excuse) or she secretly wants it to continue.

So we can't be just friends can we?


Aish...CAN. I think CAN. If we moved beyond the superficial crap you will find a lot of great people out there really. So step beyond those selfish lines 'How come no more nice guys out there, or guys who can be great friends?' [why no rich/nice/handsome guys go after me or cross paths with me] and 'Sigh..no more nice girls out there [sigh..no pretty girl wants me]. Then I am sure, we would meet plenty of people with a lot to offer and be very happy.

I have great female friends whom I have known since...Year 7/8, since high school, and its been 10 years now...yet we are still purely platonic friends. They fall into my category 7 (refer above). Incredible to others, but something to treasure for me. And colleagues who became friends as well. And these female friends might not know it but when I hang around them, I tend to get reminded of my immaturity, flaws or other weaknesses which is great because I can then see the other perspective and improve the kinks in myself. Win-win situation. But if I went after them, and got rejected (most likely, seeing as that I have no tact,skill,looks,money or niceness) confirm I will not have as much fun or learn as much. And I can get solid female advice.

I guess time will tell. If after a few months or a year a person hasn't made a move it is safe to say they aren't gonna make a move.

The Reading Culture

---

Once my friends and I were all in the cinema...to watch Lord of the Rings 1. Just as it started my other friend, who came late, raced in, and then promptly announced quite audibly, 'Eh what are we watching?! Lord of the Flies ah!?"

That was our high school Eng Lit book, by William Golding!

---

Look around you. Go ahead. Do you see anyone around you reading?

It is sad, but the truth is, Malaysians sorely lack a culture of reading. Now before you jump up in arms to protest, I am just making a sweeping and general statement describing the majority of Malaysians. Those of you who are educated, and, if you are reading this blog, are probably well read and extremely literate, most likely more so than me. If we go to Starbucks, Borders, etc, we can see many readers. But how many people actually go there? If we discount such places, we don't see people reading. Even though the majority of those in our circles read a lot, the entire sum of such of us are a miniscule % of the country's population as a whole.

If we go overseas, say Singapore, and Melbourne, it is an extremely common scenario to see people reading everywhere. In parks, in buses, on trams/MRTs, bus stops etc. The culture of reading is heavily manifested. Granted, other countries are much more well managed, and as such, have many beautiful parks conducive for such activities, but thats a story for another day. Meanwhile, back to reading.

I don't understand how people can go through life without reading. Perhaps a wise man once said it right when he said how can you feel bad about missing something when you don't know of its existence? People who don't read miss out so much.

I remember I hated reading as a kid. Then one day, when I was in Primary..2 or 3...when I was in my Bahasa Malaysia class, I was bored out of my wits. Then, I peered into the desk I was sitting at (BM classes were held in classrooms which were not our normal classrooms) and found an Enid Blyton book, 1 of those in 'The Famous Five" series. Class was THAT boring I actually started to flip through the book instead. I read for a few pages... and a few pages more...and when I got home... a few pages more.

Now, for the more sophisticated readers out there, please bear (JA - NOT bare) with me for a while.

That particular book was about how George's (Georgina) mother fell sick and her dad (Quentin) had to rush to the hospital to be with her and Mrs Stick and her son Edgar and their dog Tinker were hired as caretakers of the kids. So these caretakers were up to no good, and the Five (George & her cousins) decided to run away to George's private island. There they have great fun, but soon a series of mysterious events happen at night. The way they described the night escapades seemed mysterious n exciting. For a little boy of that age, especially one who has just stumbled on the world of reading, suddenly, the book seemed interesting. When I got home, I whipped it out, and read some more. It was late at night, when everyone in the house was asleep, when I got to the part about the late night escapades. It was thrilling! In the late silence of my already dark house, in my room quietly reading under the blanket, I could so totally imagine the whole scene unfolding.

Eventually my apetite for books grew and grew. I devoured the entire Famous Five series, then moved onto the Secret Seven, all her other stories and fairytales, and basically, by the end of Primary School, I can safely say I have read most of the stories which I could get my hands on. My favourites was "The Little Brown Bear", The Magic Faraway Tree series, The 2 Golliwogs, and The Wishing Chair series. Each of them bring back their own memories. As I grew, I revisisted several of these books. However, there came a point in time where they lost a bit of their lustre, but still, the value in them is that they help to transport me back to a wonderful point of my younger days, a feat that only they can do.

I moved onto Dick King Smith, the Hardy Boys, Moby Dick, various other books, Roald Dahl (still my ALL TIME FAVOURITE), Robert Jordan, Raymond E Feist and his Krondor series (who can forget Pug growing up in Magician, and the excitingly depicted scenes of escape from the Dark Elves). So many, I can't even remember. I read voraciously, across all genres, covering Stephen King, Patterson, Grisham, even Nicholas Sparks. I covered Mark Twain's Huckleberry Finn & Tom Sawyer series, Hemingway's To Kill A MockingBird, CS Lewis' Narnia series, RL Stevenson (Treasure Island, Crusoe), Jules Verne, Poe. Then there was Pearl Buck, Dickens, I even read the Little Women/Men, Heidi, Nancy Drew (just a few b4 i got bored dead) books. So many, I can't even name them all. Theres the Black Beauty (Walter Farley) series, The Worst Witch series (Jill Murphy), those Enid Blyton boarding school (e.g. Mallory Towers, Amelia Jane) series, Sherlock Holmes series (Conan Doyle), Jack London's The Call of the Wild, DH Lawrence, Kipling's riveting Indian jungle stories, the Reader's Digest Condensed Short Stories, Ballantyne's Coral Island, Hercule Poirot, David Eddings, Lord of the Flies, Dickens' Oliver Twist/A X-mas Carol, and weird ones like Mrs Peppermint, The Borrowers...

I could go on and on but I better stop.

I can already hear you guys going yea you better.

Actually, I am a bit embarrased about this but I even tried RL Stine/Christopher Pike and VC Andrews. Stine = lousy cheap thrills crappy. Pike = just as bad but tries to juice it up with XXX bits. VC Andrews = literary skill n plot aside, too much unnecessary XXX and incest.

Some of my best childhood memories involve racing home from school, throwing myself onto the armchair with my newly borrowed from the library collection of books. I would sit there, absent mindedly feeding myself while my mind devoured book upon book, and I could finish a thick book in a day (in retrospect, no big deal). Then I'd fall asleep. It was great!

How about those nights sitting up in my room all by myself up until the wee hours, reading, and it felt like no one else in the world was alive but you? Ahh...or coming home, shower, hop into bed clean fresh and tired, and reading til you dropped dead? Nothing like sinking into the covers with a good book and just physically rotting while your mind roam free. With a Calvin N Hobbes comic. This reading habit still continues today... when I eat alone.. I MUST read.. be it a newspaper or whatever else I can get my hands on, even cereal boxes.

In Melbourne, when it was a good day, I loved grabbing a book and heading out to the lawns for a good solid read.

You learn so much when you read. Your ability to think, to consider other angles, to debate with yourself, etc etc, improve so much.

How can people go through life not experiencing the joys of reading? And no wonder our country is run by such narrow minded ineffective inward looking visionless blockheads.

Bottom Line: To start educating a country's people, to start improving one's ability to see beyond their current horizons, to open up people to a whole new world outside, to enable people to be exposed to new ideas, the government should encourage more reading by reducing the prices of books, not simply banning books, have MUCH better libraries, and have clean public facilities for people to read in.

OK, long post ends here.

10 Favourite Stories That I Can Remember RIGHT NOW (non comprehensive, in no particular order, and probably there are more but these come to mind right now):

1. Daddy Long Legs - Jean Webster (grandniece of Mark Twain)
2. Ludo And The Star Horse - Mary Sterling (brought alive by Mr McCauley, my Pri 3 teacher)
3. Shane - Jack Schaeffer (used in Year 7 lit class)
4. The Notebook - Nicholas Sparks (first book to make me cry, darnnit)
5. All the short stories of Roald Dahl (the best ever..6 feet 6, served in WWII)
6. Calvin n Hobbes - Bill Watterson (I know its not a book but its my blog)
7. The Magician - Raymond E Feist (if only they had Jimmy the Hand)
8. Peter Pan - JM Barrie (beautiful)
9. The Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas (jim caviezel made for a fine count)
10. Everything by - Tony Parsons (love the style)