How I Long...

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Currently Listening To: Pavarotti - Ave Maria

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Ahhh...

There's nothing like letting Pavarotti's voice wash all over the house, filling every nook and cranny, while I sit there with shut eyes and let myself feel lifted off and carried away ... letting the music poke, prod, and force its way through into every atom of me and scrape out and wash away all the unpleasant stressed feelings of being overworked...

Really, what beats music as the ultimate form of tension reducing, soothing and free therapy?

I have always said, since I moved here slightly over a year ago to this new house, that I want to spend an afternoon sitting on the couch in the living room near the big sliding doors, and look out into the meagre garden behind, and enjoy that whole view and sensation. Finally I'm doing it! I shall add a small water fountain, a hammock, some more of those smooth rounded stones on the ground, and try to create a more Zen like feel. But its hard with limited space.

Last night went to Starbucks again but this time went to the one at MK, which I've never been to before, to meet a friend. Did not want to bother her, so kicked back with a book she lent me. As I sat there, with the soft lights, quiet buzz of people talking around me, comfortable, tired, contented, and the sounds of a water fountain splashing discreetly in the background, I suddenly felt quite peaceful. It had been a somewhat turbulent day. But that moment reminded me of a time in my youth when I was suddenly seized by this insane and insuppressable urge to release the demons in me by using creativity as an outlet, hence, writing. I would feel this whizbang of thoughts, and then, I would just sit down there and bang away on the keyboard not budging moving eating sleeping for hours and hours until I had the piece just right. Isn't that weird? AND, the products were not particularly good, nor did they scream out that they were obviously spawned by the mind of a genius. Anyway, the fun was in getting the whizbang out into text. It's like, you have these thoughts, but you can't just throw it out, so you create and weave a proper story in which these thoughts get to slowly seep into the story and gradually make their own way out from the head into text.

Wait.. as usual.. I have digressed. So I used to go out and take long walks to seek inspiration. And sometimes I'd walk to the stream near my house, and sit there, listening to the gurgling sounds of the stream, some unknown making a splash as it reentered the water, a frog croaking, the yellow streetlamp, the total silence and isolation at night, and if I stopped thinking long enough and just sat there, some weird random thoughts would inevitably flutter by, chance upon an idiot sitting by the stream oblivious to snakes n watnot, and decide to create some havoc in this idiot's life by entering his mind (its a vacuum I tell u, plenty of empty space, perfect for sucking in random, passing by dumb thoughts). And this whoever sent this thought would lean back and shake with laughter as this idiot gets taken ahold of by the idea, leaps up and goes (AH HA!) and runs off.

Perhaps 1 day when I feel braver I shall post up 1 or 2 of those stories..but I'd have to be seriously drunk or grow another 2 layers of skin on my face.