Tuesday, February 26, 2008

From strangers to friends to [you decide]

It is vital for a couple thinking of engaging in a romantic relationship to start off as friends. I can, on the spur of the moment, think of 3 reasons.

One, it is wonderful to slowly find out, later on, how the development occurred from friends to having feelings, on the other party. And it is wonderful to learn how that concurred with certain phases you yourself was experiencing.

Two, occasionally, you can always look back at these times, and realize how back then you never thought you’d be together, and be reminded of the ache of that prospect, and that makes you all the more appreciative of having each other.

Three, it helps you to learn more about the other person as a person, as a character, and if the relationship breaks down, you are stepping down from the podium to a level ground of friendship, and not 2 strangers brought together just by feelings.

It is equally important for a young and growing couple to experience some growing pains, some misunderstandings, etc. It is at this stage that they are learning more about each other, discovering each other, and can still make the choice and decision of their compatibility, rather than waiting until the emotions get more complex and withdrawing the emotional stake would extract more from them. Also, if they pull through, they can always look back on this time as inspiration whenever they encounter cogency issues down the road. And finally, they are hence not painting a false and unrealistic expectation of eternal perfection, and when cogency issues surface down the line, as they are bound to, they are well versed in expecting and handling it.

As I always say, you choose to stay with who you stay with.

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