TIME TIME TIME..and a bit of energy

I'm not really sure why so many initiatives that I want to carry out in my personal life has not taken flight.

Is it a lack of will power and discipline, or an inherent laziness and incapability to commit and follow through, or a lack of urgency and necessity, or just the simple explanation that I have v bad time management and way over prioritize work?

If it is the last scenario, which I strongly suspect is the case, then, why is that so? In a way, I do get some measure of self worth and happiness via being competent professionally. It is not only an ego boost, but it makes me feel useful, and the tiredness and sense of achievement at the end of a hard day's work is sometimes worth it. It's like an adrenaline rush, a high that one can get addicted on, when one is perpetually firefighting and watnot. However, I also take pride in making sure whatever is associated to my name is done well. There is a rep to uphold and I do not like disappointing anybody. The best way to go about it is to coach your people and ensure they know how to do the job. That way, you get more time for yourself. What I see my favourite bosses do to me, is what I do to my people as well.

I overproritize work. Thats for sure. But I'd happily give it up if there is someone right here right now for me to share the other things with. So many projects I want to do. I want to learn more songs on the piano. I want to perfect my plaing of Tong Hua, Boston, Life is like a boat. I want to shoot a music video albeit an amateurish 1. I want to write a book. I want to drive to some small outskirts town, and happily listen to music, eat at coffeeshops which haven't altered much in the last few decades, take lots of photos. I want to mountain bike around. I want to take part in more white water rafting, open sea kayakking, rope courses, obstacles course, abseiling, rock climbing, mountain trekking activities. I want to train up for marathons. Argh.

It can be chalked down to bad time management, or even indiscipline.

But really, I guess in another few months, with my new post, I HOPE to be able to get a little bit more free time. In which case I would stick to my original plan of spending wkends indulging in these kinda activities.